There are reasons why you can’t get pregnant on your own at that age, because it’s not natural. I don’t have a problem with women doing this, but it’s weird to me.
I’ve always gotten weird looks for being such a young mother, and I had my baby at 21!! I am almost always the youngest mother at school. It’s bizarre to me. The women picking up their kids look more like they could be grandmothers than mothers to these children.
I know how I felt after having one baby at age 21, and there’s no way in hell that I’d do it when I’m 35, let alone 50. When I’m 50, the last thing I want to be doing is changing diapers and trying to drag my haggard body around to keep up with a couple of twins. No thanks.
Actually, as has been pointed out by others above, it is not necessarily unnatural. They are healthy, sexual beings whose reproductive systems work. I can think of several ?change of life? pregnancies I’ve known among folks “that age” in the past few years. There probably were more of those who are now in their sixties and seventies, but at the time they were in their fifties, we weren’t peers of one sort or another, so I was simply unaware of the situation.
I realise that we are very close in age - though our paths took us in slightly divergent directions - my first is still in diapers. When I was younger, I imagined I’d have school-age children by now, much as my parents did. I was afraid I would be too old to be a mother with young children in my 30s.
And yet - it’s not as disastrous as all that. And many women and men in their 50s are finding themselves raising their grandchildren. It’s harder work than when they were young, but they don’t look, act, or feel old; just as I’m not nearly as decrepit in my 30’s as I expected I would be back in those tender pre-teen years.
As you pointed out, this is not a big deal. My parents adopted me at a normal age, right into the family, and I’ve not met three out of four of my grandparents. The one I did meet was pretty senile when I met her, so it didn’t do much for me anyway.
Obviously, the Edwards family has a substantial amount of $$ - it’s not like the kids are going to have to put off college because they have to put mom and pop in a rest home, which could be an issue for less financially secure people.
Secondly, I think having parents in their 40’s or 50’s would offer some advantages - people in their 20’s just don’t have the sort of life experience and perspective that older people have to pass on to a young one.
And just as many people feel the same way about being 21 and pregnant. For me personally getting pregnant at that age would have been an utter disaster.
I’m going to be 35 in the spring and I’m contemplating my second pregnancy. At 34 I feel much more ready mentally AND physically to have a child than I did when I was younger. When I get pregnant this time I won’t drink any alcohol. I will excercise. I will kegel and take my pre-natals and eat right. I won’t view being home with the baby as a second best alternative to partying because I’ve been there and done that. I have the B.A., a lasting happy marriage, a good house in a great neighborhood and the confidence now that I didn’t have a 21.
Getting older does not always mean getting worse.
As for the OP I think it’s none of anyone’s business but theirs. I’d certainly rather have a 48 year old mother than a knocked up 16 year old for a mother and her Wal Mart employed paramour for a father.
Good points here. I think we sometimes tend to discount maturity in discussions about older parenting. I would not want to be pregnant now for sure, but emotionally and financially I am better prepared than I was when I was younger. I think the financial issue is not important in giving “things” to children but it allows you more freedom to give “yourself” to them. I think I would be a much more relaxed mom now that I was when I was younger.
As for the OP? It’s their business. For them, it sounds like they made a good choice. I certainly don’t worry about the parenting their children will receive…and that is what it is really about.
Not totally sure I understand exactly what oogy is but I think it probably is 70 and 80 year old men fathering children with 20 somethings. That’s oogy. I think.
I don’t think it’ll be a huge hardship for them to raise the kids either It’s not like they can’t afford help around the home.
One girl I worked with who is of an age with me has parents who were both in their 50s when she was conceived. Since I’m over 30 we can safely say that it was a ‘natural’ conception. There may well be a lot more people in that situation, but ‘how old are your folks’ isn’t a normal conversation-starter for me.
I personally think that 70 and 80 year old men having sex with 20-somethings is oogy.
My sister-in-law’s partner is more than 20 years older than her and that’s doesn’t faze me in the least, but something strikes me as incredibly unnatural about relationships with a 60 year age gap.
My parents were 40 and 42 when I showed up. Not as old as the Edwards, but not “young” parents, by any stretch, and I don’t think I’m any the worse for wear. My sweet dad passed away in 1996, and my mom is an old lady now, but I’m happy. My dad was retired by the time I was in high school, and took great pleasure in making me hugely elaborate lunches on days when I came home for lunch (as a result I was always late getting back to class, but it was worth it just to get a frilly toothpick in my club sandwich). I know it’s somewhat of a strawman, but I’d much rather have the loving old farts I had than to have bad parents who’d live until I grew to be an old fart myself . . .
My grandmother had her last child when she was 50. It was totally natural, seeing as my aunt was born in 1949. This was her 8th full-term pregnancy, 13th overall. It was her last one - she said it took 35 years of marriage to figure out what was causing all the babies! And my aunt had had her 4th child by the time Grammy died. I’m sure she wanted her mother to live longer, but it’s not like she never got to know her.
We have compassion and sympathy for the young people who accidentally become pregnant, yet we are supposed to feel that an older woman of visible means is “irresponsible” for becoming pregnant on purpose?
I don’t think so. If anything, I think it shows a sense of responsibility that this is an event they are planning. And as others have said, older parents can bring some extra things like wisdom and maturity to the table.
So these kids may not have a stereotypical “ideal” childhood. What is typical and ideal these days?
But since we’re opining, do I think it’s wrong? Like a sin or something? Ehh. Selfish? Yes. Yeah yeah, a parent can die in a car crash at any time regardless of age. But popping out a baby when you’re 50? Male or female, that’s nuts.
Why is it the boomers won’t accept that they’re getting old? We’ve got fogeys like Billy Joel marrying girls a couple of years older than their daughters and we’ve got premenopausal women trying to churn out a second family when they’re pushing 50. Do they have any idea how desperate they look?
It’s not like they can’t afford help around the home.