Why not?
Sounds like a perfectly acceptable behavior modification technique for mammals of all persuasion to me.
Seems better than nightly beatings, new age hippy BS, guilt trips, or emotional dominance.
It doesn’t matter whether they are equivalent or not; what I do, say, think or feel about something does not change your relationship with someone else if I am not a part of that. My <gay marriage> does not diminish your <heterosexual marriage> because there is no connection between the two. Insert any unconnected things you like into the <>. My <chicken sandwich> does not diminish your <salad roll>. My <grief for my dead pet> does not diminish your <grief for your dead child>.
People who get angry with pet owners who equate the grief they are feeling with that of a parent who has lost a child sound like they are arguing over whose grief is griefier. Unless it’s part and parcel with something like “… well my cat died and I’m not taking compassionate leave so as your boss I’m not going to grant you compassionate leave just because your son is dead” or “… I can either save your daughter or my dog, and my grief would be greater than yours because I just love my dog that much so kiss the kid goodbye willya”, then who cares if they think the two things are the same?
I grew up with cats & dogs, I’ve lived with many, & I find the comparison offensive. I do care about the animals in my care, but I am definitely not their daddy, big brother, or anything of the kind. I’m just, as Tatsuya Ishida would put it, “the man.”
That said, when I started growing trees from seed, & then naming them for record-keeping purposes, I started thinking something like, they’re like my kids. Because I got a bit emotionally invested in them for a few months. And then it hit me. At some point I could just give up on them & not look back.
But that’s more like a writer or a designer calling his creations his babies. It’s different yet again. I did not grow any of my cats or dogs from seed, I just took them in.
I’m childless and I find the comparison cringeworthy myself. I like animals, but I don’t find myself deeply attached to them. I hope that isn’t an indicator of what sort of parent I might be one day…
Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Why get all worked up about a naive and childish comment?
I have a child and cats and have spent far more on medical care to save the life of a cat than I have had to for the life of the child. (I pray it stays that way.)
There really is no equivalence, I mean I love my cats but the child is most definitely superior in my mind. I made it clear to my cats the pecking order, that this new kitten was alpha over them. When she comes after them they just run away, no big deal, but I respond disproportionately if they scratch the baby, mainly because they can easily get away. When one cat just attacked her for no apparent reason I backed him into the corner and made it clear that I would end him if he ever truly hurt her. I adore that cat and have a relationship like a familiar with him. I don’t think it would come to it because I am not worried about him seriously hurting her, but the sentiment was there, I let him know the clear and brutal truth about it.
All that being said, some people have a deep emotional bond and do not simply replace a pet when it dies. I have not had a dog since my dog died when I was 15. It’s a different relationship, but this whole ‘comparative meaningfulness’ game is crass in my opinion. Compare your pet to my child all you want, as long as you aren’t dirt stupid or batshit crazy and have a capacity to understand where the comparison breaks down, it doesn’t harm me in any way.
Yes, Yes, cats are always loyal, they love you when no one else will. They are constant companions. Yes, they do feel the same emotions we do and they know what you are saying to them. Animal lovers/keepers have a saying: “Never trust anyone that don’t like animals.” I agree completely.
Seconded. The emotional difference between a cat (or dog or horse) and a child is so utterly huge there’s no comparison. I’d die for my child. I wouldn’t die for my cats. The cats don’t even register when the shit hits the fan, like MightyAtlas said, even though they were the most precious thing in the world before the child came.
As a pet owner with no kids, I guess I can understand that somebody without kids may not be able to make the emotional comparison between parent/child and owner/pet relationships.
If my dog had cancer, chemo would be a financial consideration only, and I would likely opt not to do it. But I’m sure if I had a kid, I would not use this same rationale in my decision making.
In the grand scale of offensivene behaviour, comparing the anthropomorphic spoiling of your living pets to the care of someone else’s living children, is pretty low on the scale. Not to mention, a lot of young couples do practice “babying” animals before they have real, live, human children. I’d say it’s stupid more than anything else, and the parents should just smile, move on and hope that the idiot in question one day has kids his/herself so as to be able to bring it up a la “remember when you said?”.
I think what crosses the line is comparing the death of a pet to the death of a child. I mean, that’s definitely STFU territory.
There’s very little I bother to find offensive, and this doesn’t qualify.
Well, you seem to get offended pretty easily by people getting offended.
I used to get offended by people who called my cat “your baby” or “your son” as it diminished him. He was a cat, my companion animal, not some babydoll substitute for something I didn’t plan on having.
When he was an old beastie I had a child and the cat and I both knew that his status was lowered from ‘companion’ to ‘household pet’. I grieved him when he died and probably won’t have another cat until my child leaves home.
Annoying and somewhat ignorant.
Somewhat related: My BIL was talking about some complications he was dealing with re: his diabetes and my stepdaughter jumped in with an, “Oh, I can totally relate to that. We went through that with our cat.” His self-control was astounding!
If that’s directed to me, all I can say is…
… I do?
You do.
I don’t find it offensive as much as I find it retarded.
People who treat animals like people, I find to be a little off. Not saying you can’t love your pets and treat them well. But if you have a dog, be its pack leader not its mumsy-wumsy. And know their limitations. 15 year old dogs die. Be prepared for things like that.
Yes, I would be upset if my cat died. But I’d get over it a lot quicker than if any human I love died.
If it wasn’t a hijack, I’d ask for a cite, but because it is a hijack, I’ll just write it off as nonsense.
I’m a pet owner and a dad, and I don’t find it offensive - if it isn’t meant offensively. Most people make the analogy to indicate that they have an experience in common - they do not mean to be offensive.
Sorry to have offended you again.
And still more nonsense.