Just curious: do you identify as bisexual? IME, “bisexual”, both as a term and a group, are looked down upon by gay and straight alike, and I don’t grok why.
At a seminar my med school class had with prominent members of the local LGBT community (professors, community outreach people, etc), we were informed that some circles consider “homosexual” a throwback to a time when being gay was a mental illness.
I guess you can’t please everyone, but it’s definitely something I’m going to keep in mind from now on.
I dislike the term “bisexual” because of it’s implicit acceptance of gender duality. I don’t identify as bisexual as such, but I’ll use the term to describe myself because there really isn’t a better term that’s part of the common lexicon - “pansexual” and similar descriptors tend to get blank looks from the majority of people, and a casual conversation isn’t always the best place to get into a detailed discussion of gender theory.
Personally, I prefer the term “queer,” although I know that a lot of gay people, particularly from older generations, aren’t comfortable with its history as a slur.
Fair enough, thanks. Much better reason than I’ve heard articulated elsewhere.
I recall reading - though I can’t remember where - that when the term “gay” started to come into use, some men hated it because they thought it sounded too effeminate. They wanted “Trojan” to be the preferred term instead. Obviously this never happened, but…interesting footnote from history.
I’m never going to hear the “Trojan Man!” tagline the same way again.
Especially back in the 70s and 80s, gay people sometimes identified as bisexual to avoid the shock of coming completely out of the closet. And so there’s the idea that bisexual identification is something of a phase–either they’ll eventually come out as gay, or they’ll eventually go back to being straight.
There are also plenty of women who identify as “bisexual” just because making out with a girl doesn’t gross them out. Except while they might be willing to make out with a girl or have a threeway with a girl, they’re never going to have a relationship with a girl. So it’s kind of rounding up to call yourself bisexual when 99% of the sex you have is with one gender. Just because you had sex with a girl a couple times that doesn’t make you bisexual, otherwise Dan Savage would be bisexual.
I can only speak for myself as a lesbian but I think many lesbians are… wary at least, of girls who describe themselves as bisexual, because they’ve had their fingers burnt. I’ve has two bisexual girlfriends - one treated me like a fun shag til she found a man, the other was fully committed to me but treated me a little like a boyfriend and was a bit embarrassed about us. They are both now happy with boyfriends. Virtually all lesbians I know could tell you the same story.
I could be way off base, but I think of “gay” as referring to the way homosexuality is expressed in relatively modern Western culture, with all the history of the gay rights struggle, the ravages of AIDS, religious gay bashing, etc. as part of the package. If I were talking about archeological evidence from 1000 years ago, or observations of a tribe in the Amazon, or some forms of animal behavior, “homosexual” seems more appropriate. Not because I’m trying to be more formal or scientific but because those examples lack the cultural context I feel is part of “gayness.”
I’m not sure you know what the terms quasi and sarcastic mean.
I was going to make my own post about this today, but I did a search and saw that this same exact thread had already been done.
I was just reading an article today about mistakes that wedding shops make when serving clients who are planning a same-sex wedding.
One of the things that the author said was to never use the word “homosexual.”
As a homosexual male, who proudly and rightly refers to himself using that word, I would take NO offense to being described as “homosexual” or “in a homosexual relationship.”
I think that people who are getting offended from being described as homosexuals, when that’s what they ARE, need to lighten up.
That being said, if someone used it as a noun, like, “Are you a homosexual?” then that might rub me a little off, but I wouldn’t think the person was being rude or using a slur. How a scientific and accurate description of romantic/sexual attraction has become offensive is just ridiculous. Bigots and politicians use the word because it is accurate at denouncing what they hate/dislike. They aren’t using it as a slur. If they start saying “the gays are going to destroy our culture” I think that’s equally if not more offensive than “homosexuals are going to destroy our culture.”
yes, gawd forbid unity.
There it is from a real homosexual.
How is the word “Jew” at all derogatory? It’s been around for centuries and has evolved from Hebrew. Jews would be insane to allow it to become offensive.
The only reason anyone thinks this is the case is because of South Park and teenagers who think they’re being funny by calling other people “Jews” (probably followed by references to pie, llamas and monkeys).