If she wasn’t the kind of girl who would fly off the handle at the suggestion the OP wouldn’t be asking.
Speaking as a female, I would have loved the webcam idea back when I was seriously broke and literally 1 paycheck from homeless myself. I did show up at an open audition at one of the local clubs, but the manager had just had a family emergency and left, so I will never know if I would have made a good stripper. FWIW, I was living in a slum at the time and knew several of the strippers that worked there and they were pretty positive about the job, the bouncers were good about keeping the navy guys behaving. [I ended up getting a second job, a probably legal telephone boiler room ‘qualifying’ and setting appointments for a timeshare vacation place over near the NC/VA border.]
Not if you wanna keep her as a friend.
Another vote for tread carefully, but it isn’t always a bad idea. I like whoever upthread suggested making it a specific job-related mention: “oh, yeah, I noticed that Classy Lady is hiring - the bouncer says that almost all the girls do their homework between shows” rather than “hey, you should be a stripper!”
Reason? For girls, “hey you should be a stripper” from a guy automatically translates into “nice tits, too bad you can’t get hired for any of your other qualifications that you actually contributed something towards developing.”
Whether that’s true or not (or because of deficiencies on the girl’s part or on the economy’s part) is irrelevant. It’s not going to go over well. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea, or even that it’s a bad suggestion, just that it isn’t likely to be taken in the way you mean it.
As a counterpoint, if she has any interest in working in child-care or teaching, the possible lifetime negatives of someone finding out that she stripped, and holding it against her later may outweigh the more immediate money gains.
Hah! On re reading what I typed it sounds a bit rapey.
What I meant is that many, if not frankly all women, are at least insecure about parts of their body (even if they are realistic about it being attractive) and so when considering being a stripper may think they are not the right kind for doing it - maybe even just because no one has suggested it. When you suggest it they are given self confidence and likely to view it more positively.
Please note the above does not apply to most women, but it probably does apply to most women who would be strippers. Once again if you need to ask then at least one of the man or the woman is inappropriate for the man suggesting it, but the OP does ask whether it is EVER appropriate.
Just out of curiosity, what makes you think that suggesting a woman be a stripper will give her self-confidence and view the profession more positively?
Some hot chicks (or guys) don’t know they’re hot.
Basically what he said. Except I would substitute the word “feel” for “know”.
Also, I never suggested anything about viewing the profession positively would change much. This is why you need to be very careful about who you suggested it to. It is not actually something that I have ever done, or at least I do not remember ever having done so.
My advice remains if in doubt don’t.
There might be circumstances where this would be a good idea, but in this specific case I’d give it a big “NO”. If she was the type of woman who would take the suggestion well and just laugh it off if she wasn’t interested then the OP wouldn’t have to ask us about it. He’d already know.
As others have said, unless she is either incredibly sheltered or vehemently opposed to stripping (in which case suggesting she take up stripping would be a VERY bad idea) then the thought has already crossed her mind. I think it’s incredibly unlikely that she genuinely wants to try stripping but is just waiting for a little friendly encouragement from the OP. If that’s what she was looking for, she’d have brought it up to him herself.
I’d guess that the odds such a suggestion would be welcome or helpful are very, very slim, and the odds that she’d be hurt or offended are very, very high. The suggestion might be well-intentioned, but if she’s close to being thrown out of her apartment she’s presumably under a lot of stress already and likely to be more sensitive and easily upset than usual.
In fairness, I think it would be much easier for us to offer informed opinions with the benefit of pictures.
Help your friend make the one rent payment, and help her with her resume or whatever is holding her back from getting a job through the local employment agencies.
The OP has an opportunity here to help not only his friend, but himself. He will need to buy an obnoxious suit, a fancy cane, and a large Cadillac sedan, but with all the new cash flowing in that shouldn’t be a problem!
Something tells me letting us know this may be a big reason this thread was started.
Failing that as the answer, I really have to wonder why you’d think this would be an appropriate suggestion to give her. Let’s say your girlfriend wasn’t making as much money as she could be, would you want a guy friend to suggest she slap on a g-string and start grinding on the laps of strangers?
It would be probably easier to take her to the peelers for a few drinks and let her lead the conversation , rather than casually mention that some pole work would be definitely up her alley for fast cash.
Introduce her to Model Mayhem, if she is that telegenic.
Declan
We’ve had few threads in the past ie “ask the exotic dancer” andsimilar regarding stripping as a job.
The upshot was that like every job there is a mix of people from A-Z.
According to those who had done it stripping was a great cash flow and in many cases the dancers held a fair amount of power, but it had to be something you kind of enjoyed re performing if you wanted to be making money. If you are not into it it’s pointless and demeaning and the customers will see that. Just having a great body is not enough.
There are also contextual risks to the lifestyle re getting involved with drugs or prostitution as some strippers are into that lifestyle, but many are not.
On the other hand, if her career goals include novelist or screenwriter, it’ll be a plus!
I’m not a guy but I’ve been to a few strip clubs with friends. Sleeps With Butterflies asks if the friend wants to grind some stranger’s lap. This I’ve seen. But I have never seen a patron grope one of the strippers. It’s not allowed. Try it and the bouncer earns his pay.
Stripping is done in a controlled environment no matter how wild and crazy the atmosphere may seem, and is not the same as “whoring.” :rolleyes: That’s stripping I’m talking about, not whatever extracuricular activities that might go on behind the scenes. I’m not saying it’s ever a good choice, but there may be times when it could be the better choice.
Is it a ever a good idea to bring it up? Depends on the person. The stereotype of the good-hearted girl with a kid to feed is valid. So is the possible desperate decline ala Naked Lunch. Different people handle situations differently.
I think Loach has the most germane question (even tho he may have been kidding): is she a talented dancer? Even horny drunk guys don’t want to see somebody with two left feet and no sense of rhythm akwardly strut across the stage.
A couple of things I wanted to clarify:
[ol]
[li]I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, but I wasn’t asking for advice on how to deal with my friend’s particular situation. Instead, her situation was what prompted me to ask the question in the OP. That question was meant to be general and not specific to this situation.[/li][li]Some people suggested I help her financially. I’m not sure what makes you think I’m in any position to give her a handout, but why would she be less insulted by a handout than the suggestion that she work an honest, legal job to make more money?[/li][/ol]
And finally:
You act as if you know me personally, SWB, that you would know my intentions for starting this thread. Though I shouldn’t be surprised, as this type of judgmental behavior seems to be your modus operandi.
Where in the OP did I make any implication that she has a boyfriend?
Well, in my case I said a loan, not a handout. And I can see how I might have sounded more than a bit judgmental. However, I honestly thought about what I personally (and I’m not you - but you asked for opinions) would do. I pictured some of my good friends who are also good-looking and I just honestly can’t picture myself saying: “Hey, you could strip”. My first instinct would be to help out financially, needless to say I’d need to have the money myself.
Tsk, tsk. Judging me as being judgmental?. Oh dear that’s delicious. No, I don’t know you personally as in off the board. I have, however, read several of your threads you’ve posted about your personal life over the years. Threads that you have elected to share for everyone to read. But no, I don’t know you. Still, when you post you get opinions. That’s how it works especially here in the IMHO forum. Speculating why a thread gets started is hardly a new idea. Your sneak brag about already having had sex with the woman in question seemed a little odd to me. Maybe you mentioned it to fend off accusations of lechery, but as you didn’t say you’d be asking her to strip FOR you I’m not sure anyone would have thought to go there.
You didn’t, but why does it matter if she has one or not? Does her having a bf change how you’d talk to her?
I’m trying to get you to see that suggesting something like that to someone would be considered improper because answering that question is why you posted the thread, right? I know you’ve posted about your girlfriend before so I was simply framing it so that you could see that you’d probably find it a little offputting for someone to suggest to YOUR girlfriend that she could earn more money by gyrating on the laps of strangers. Asking you how you’d like it if someone suggested it to you isn’t really the same thing as you’re a male. So, you see, the fact that she has no boyfriend is really not at all important.
I find that if you’re questioning whether you should address someone about something you might consider how you’d like it if the same was said to someone in YOUR life. Not a new concept. So, imagine a guy who has had sex with your GF in the past suggesting that she could make more $ by stripping. Probably not a great feeling. That’s why I vote that it isn’t EVER a good idea, like you asked when you started the thread. That’s all.