I can’t quite tell if this is satire or not.
So I am the world’s worst curmudgeon, pretty much, and all noise that I didn’t ask to hear is definitionally bad noise. Stipulated?
But there is a little girl in the kittycorner back yard, where they have a pool. Every summer on warm days we hear her yelling her head off, just shrieking as loud as she can. My partner calls her The Tinwhistle. It’s pretty loud, sure, but it’s so joyful I can hardly mind it. I often think of her parents, and how one day, she’ll never shriek for joy in a pool again, any year now. Every so often the dad will yell at her to keep it down, but I think he knows there’ll be a certain sadness when she grows out of it. She’ll be too cool to yell in a pool in front of her cool friends, and she won’t want to get her phone wet anyway.
Sadly it is not. They had issues. We had to move. Eight years after we moved the father died either of an accidental or deliberate overdose. Unfortunately the mother’s family was full of cops. So moving was the only remedy for us.
They ran, and the mother still runs, an in-home daycare. So this clown who was abusing both alcohol and opiates (possibly other things) was somehow able to pass a criminal background check.
The relevant police department has been in the news recently, for all the wrong reasons. Note that the criminal background checks are conducted by the State Police, but there’s a culture of mutual favors between state and local “law enforcement” in this state.
My proudest moment was retribution on a bratty kid. I was in Costco, pushing one of their very large flatbed carts loaded with cases of canned food for a school lunch program we were running. Hard to push, and very hard to stop suddenly. So this bratty kid jumps out in front of me and I manage with much effort to get the thing stopped. I said to him “That’s a very dangerous thing to do!” He stuck his tongue out and refused to move. I said “Please move now.” No response. His mother walks around the corner and sees his little shit show, scoops him up and puts him in her cart. He starts wailing at the top of his lungs and looks over at me. I pointed at him and mimed someone laughing hysterically. The look on his face was priceless.
Ah. That makes sense.
We had a neighbor for years whose son was pretty troubled, but we were cowards and never did much about it, because the mom also had issues. I remember when he stood outside the house in his underwear shouting “MOM! MOM! MOM!” for a long time before going back inside–in retrospect, I’m ashamed that I didn’t intervene.
There’s a huge difference between a kid’s happy shouts (which I agree don’t really need any intervention) and a kid’s upset shouts (which, depending on context, might).
It’s not about my opinion about their behavior. Who the hell are you to say anything to my kid? Talk to me. That would be more effective anyway.
At first glace, I read that as running in the yard with a chainsaw and thought that would be a problem which would solve itself.
Yeah, I’d expect an older kid to come out to yell at their half-brother.
Maybe not - I remember once telling a couple of kids around 12 to stop riding their bikes down a slide younger kids were trying to use. I would have talked to their parents, but as they were 12ish , their parents were not there with them and I had no idea of who they were to tell them later. Little kids in the next yard - sure, I’d tell their parents. But that’s not usually the situation I’ve encountered.
I understood you perfectly. And that is what I suggested was more common.
When I was a kid, pretty much any adult - and certainly a neighbor - could and would tell an obnoxious kid to “knock it off.” And the kid would listen - and hope it didn’t get back to their parents. Because your parents would tell you not to bother the neighbors. Didn’t - and doesn’t - strike me as a horrible dynamic.
These days, many (admittedly not all and probably not even most) kids seem to believe that their immature judgment and whims are all that matters. And their parents will back them up.
That’s exactly what he was doing. Basically shadow sword fighting with a chainsaw. A gasoline powered chainsaw that his father taught him to start. A seven year old.
I thought my earlier blower vs trimmer power jousting toddlers exception was comically exaggerated but I guess they exist and graduate to better noisemakers.
More than fifteen years back a new family moved into the house across the street, with two girls roughly 3 and 5 years old. They were our first close experience with kids that did this sort of happy continuing shrieking for what seemed like hours We did nothing, said nothing, mostly just kept the windows closed and stayed out of our front yard. About a year and a half later the problem just stopped. Our theory was that the older girl naturally aged out of that being something she wanted to do, and without her sister triggering/joining in on the noise/serving as her role model, the younger girl just stopped, too.
Anyway, eighteen months of aggravation, then a decade and a half of them being exemplary neighbors. I’m glad we said nothing.
OTOH, the house two to their right was bought by a family with a deeply disturbed child. Clearly some sort of mental disability or illness. He was picked up and transported to some special ‘school’ every week day.
The kid’s shrieking was one of the lesser aspects – he was often deliberately destructive and aggressive, including several attempts to set the house on fire and attacks on his siblings and even the parents. There were frequent ambulance and police visits to the house. The family put in heavy duty chain link fences around the entire yard after a year or so when his destructive rages started being targeted at neighboring houses, children, and pets.
It was a horrible situation. Eventually the child was confined to a ‘closed’ facility where he’s basically kept under strong medication continuously. The family moved away a while later.
And, no, as far as I know, nobody ever said anything about the child to the family. It was obvious the parents knew there was a problem and they were working on it all the time, what else could they do?
I guess I see it differently, and it may be profession-based. Kids benefit from having clear messages from adults, and I’d just as soon any adult around a kid who’s being irresponsible set them straight. I’d rather have my kids set unnecessarily straight than have my kids continue with bad behavior.
Talking to a kid in a clear, calm manner isn’t going to hurt them, 99% of the time.
That is, of course, different from aggressive screaming at a kid, or saying something creepy and intrusive to them.
That’s easy to say.
But if it’s your kid and you are immune to the noise you’re gonna think it’s a personal affront on your parenting skills.
And then there’s those Karens who think everything about a kid in any circumstance is a problem.
I had a teacher tell me once she, after a dozen notes home about him, that she just didn’t like Sons personality. I agreed he was the class clown and a little rambunctious. He was actually a fun person to be around(still is). He’s hilarious.
But maybe algebra class was the wrong place.
Mostly he was bored. He got his lessons quickly and had to cause trouble.
We told him cease this behavior, knowing he’d never be in her class again.
But her saying she disliked my kid was hurtful.
No it isn’t. What?
It’s easy to say talk clear and calm to a kid pissing you off for weeks. Hard to do.
Is easy to say “Go talk calmly to a parent” whose child has disturbed your peace for many days. Hard to do.
Parents get all up in their feels about the children they have. Especially if the kid is on their own property and being a “kid”, in all that means.
It’s easy to say just go have a discussion. Emotional response. Emotional back atcha…next thing there are threats, reprisal and cops are called.
We can’t even control our adult selves driving(road rage) or over a fence line(dispute), how can you expect “control” on both sides in a neighborhood child noise situation.
I think I could be able to listen to complaints. But it hurt my feelings in the example I gave. And I knew the teacher was right about my son’s behavior. Still it bothered me.
Peeps are more nuts, nowadays.
No it’s not.
Aren’t you an educator?
You may find it easy. But the average homeowner may find it difficult. Just like the OP.
Edit: I will respond later.