Is it "friendly" for the doctor's office staff to call you by your first name?

In My Humble Opinion
21

[slight hijack]

When I went to a psychologist’s office a few years ago, the doctor came to the waiting room and announced her name. Then the patient that was scheduled for her would get up and follow her back to her office. The patient name was never uttered out loud. I thought it was peculiar and was told it was for the patient’s privacy.

Now I understand that MD’s can’t possibly to this because they are seeing 432 patients an hour but I thought it was a nice solution for the psychologist.

[/slight hijack]

22

Hey, the guy’s gonna stick his finger up my…

I figure that’s a first name basis, but the help should use Mr/Ms.

They call me “Mr. Plant” at the opthamologist which is the only place I’ve been in a bit.

23

I would prefer someone I just met to call me Mr. Duke, especially if he’s going to stick his finger inside me without buying me dinner first. It’s in just such situations where a traditional display of respect is most appreciated.

24

With my own doctor, I’m on a first name basis… but it should be noted that we are old family friends. When I go to see other doctors, I prefer to be called Mrs. Wry, especially since I call the doctors Dr. Whatever. I am also one of those old-fashioned types who insists that my daughter address adults by Mr. and Mrs. When I encounter those stubborn “oh, just call me Sue (or Joe)” people, my daughter will call them “Miss Sue” or “Mr. Joe” and that’s where I draw the line. You may think it’s fussy and old-fashioned, but I am raising this here child.

And when total strangers like telemarketers ask me my first name, I simply answer “Missus.”

25

Several issues here.

The privacy aspect never occurred to me, but it actually makes some sense. Especially if I’m at, say, the VD Clinic, I probably wouldn’t appreciate some nurse announcing my full name to the waiting room.

The mutual respect aspect. Many doctors, frankly, take themselves very seriously and would never dream of allowing a patient to call them “Jim”. If I’m dealing with that sort of person, then I’ll also take the dignity of a “Mr.” when I’m being addressed, thank you. After all, I’m paying, and I’m being addressed by a well educated (and dedicated) tradesperson. Don’t even think about patronizing me.

(Now, my doctor and I are on a quite friendly basis, and while I actually call him Doctor, because I’m a traditionalist, I could call him by his first name if I wanted to. I wouldn’t want him to address me any other way, at this point. He knows all my secrets.)

The elderly-patient issue: Yes, these ignorant, cheeky, inept girls (of both sexes) in the front office should NOT be calling Mrs. Meriweather “Margaret” under any circumstances at all. Mrs. Meriweather winces inside when she hears this, which makes her sciatica much worse. See, no one ever called her by her first name in her life except dear departed Mr. Meriweather, who called her Meg. But certainly never in the earshot of a stranger. These clueless employees need to give her the dignity of her age; she’s earned it.

I’m happy to report that in the South, in nursing homes, they still do it right. I hear Miz Johnson this and Mr. Smith that from the young staff, unfailingly, which is a good thing when they’re talking about my grandmother, or they’d hear about it from me. It’s simple respect and professionalism.

26

I’ve instructed my own children to start out calling adults “Mr.” or “Ms.” and let the adults tell them if they prefer to be referred to by their first names. As Miss Manners says, it’s much nicer to be told, “Oh, please call me Mary” than “Please call me Ms. Jones.” I would like the same courtesy from others, especially those with whom I have a professional relationship. And I would like all those cashiers I don’t know from Adam to not call me anything at all, thank you very much.

I don’t get all that worked up about the issue, although it does grate on me a little to have a perky teenaged stranger calling me by my first name. What really bothers me is when the same teens call my aged mother, who was brought up in the hats and gloves era, by her first name. Don’t even get me started on the question of people outside of the Deep South calling either of us “sweetie.”

27

You guys got it easy compared to me. I have been using the same docs in a box office for about 18 years.

I come in & inform them that I’m deaf & DON’T call my name, I can’t hear you, come get me. Well, for 7 years they called me, so finally they wrote DEAF in big huge letters on front of my folder.

Ten years after that they are still calling my name at the door. I think one time they actually came to get me. I don’t even know what name they use when they call me, but I know they look puzzled when I don’t respond, so I have restorted to assuming that puzzled look is my name :slight_smile:

28

Handy, that is scary.

I hope your ear doc never did that to you!

29

When I go to my Dr, they call me by my first name, and I don’t mind. I actually don’t like being called “Mrs.”, because to me that refers to my mother-in-law. I think it differs a lot with a person’s age, though. I am usually younger or about the same age as the staff, so I am used to being called by my first name by people older than me.

I will address people I am meeting as Mr. or Mrs. until I am told I can do otherwise, but I am used to calling people by their first names. At my workplace everyone is on a first name basis, from the receptionist to the president. I’m not into titles for myself in general though, my nephew calls me “Velma” and not “Aunt Velma”, but I know some people prefer the title or think it sounds disrespectful to call an adult by first name.

30

This is always a difficult question for me, since I work as a clinical secretary, and I’m constantly dealing with patients; both in person and by phone. For the sake of politeness, I always call call them Mr. or Ms. Lastname, unless they tell me to do otherwise. Many people do prefer first names, but I prefer not to make any assumptions. A lot of the other secretaries I work with do automatically call patients by the first names, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I had a hard enough time learning to call my co-workers by their first names!

And as others have said, the Privacy Rule issues the receptionist mentioned to you, Pam, are not valid - at least as far as HIPAA goes. There’s no legal reason they can’t call you by your last name. Though I guess your specific doctor’s office may have their own additional rules.

As for my preference, I don’t give a rat’s ass what doctors and their staff call me (as a patient), as long as they aren’t obviously hostile. First name, last name, nickname - whatever’s easiest for them. They and I both have more important things to think about than forms of address. It’s a pretty trivial concern.

31

I despise being referred to by my first name in settings like this – first names are something you use when you have a connection, not as a matter of course. When it really gets me is at the grocery store. I typically buy groceries with my credit card and the cashiers seem to have been trained to be polite by saying, upon return of the card, “Thanks Alex!”

My response: “I’m sorry – are we sleeping together?”

–Cliffy

32

I always call my patients Mr. so-and-so or Ms. (I never assume that a woman is married) so-and-so. I also tend to use sir and maam, particularly with patients who are much older than I am.

As for doctors and staff using my first name (actually my first and middle since I have a double name), it depends on how long I have been a patient at that particular clinic. My psychiatrist’s office does this which I don’t mind at all since the receptionist has been the same one for the past three years that I’ve been a patient there. It would bother me though if I were going to a physician at one of the family clinics that I’ve never seen before – but not as much as when a physician that I’ve just meant starts pimping me on my illness after learning that I’m a med student!

33

They call me by my first name at my doctor’s office and it consistently irritates me. This is odd, because that sort of familiarity normally doesn’t bother me.

I think much of it has to do with the manner in which it’s done. Normally it involves some 19 year old receptionist or file clerk speaking to me like I’m a mentally defective 4 year old.

34

I went to a doctor’s office just last week for a first visit. On one of the forms they had to fill out was the question, “How do you prefer to be addressed? (Mr/Mrs./Ms/First Name __________”). That kind of surprised me, but I think it’s a good idea.

35

How is calling me “Ms. Rinth” less protective of my privacy than calling me “Ama”? That doesn’t make sense to me

It’s rude. Unless I’ve asked you, “no, please, call me Ama.” it’s rude for the staff to automatically go there.