I was visiting with the restorative therapist, which has become the lion’s share of our sessions over the past couple months (see: my thread on women volunteering to chew my ear off with excessive personal info). As usual, there was some trash talk because that’s how friends talk around here. In comes some RN I never met, a big, gruff, 60-ish fellow of Warsaw Pact heritage. A classic Chicago Polack with all that slur entails. He starts talking smack and it continues the rest of the evening, after the RT left, especially about my meds.
Sir, I do not know you and I am sorry that you misunderstood that my friendship with the RT extended to you. She is my friend and has my permission to talk trash with me. You are neither and I prefer that you treat me with dignity, respect, and maybe some formality. I do not care to know you are a gun nut, and was insulted when you said, “a Democrat would have a heart attack” if he saw your collection. Sirrah, you did not establish my political affiliation before speaking ill of me and my fellows. You just saw a 65-yr-old white guy and assumed, wrongly, that I am a fellow Trumpist.
I do not know you and already I do not like you. In the future, please confine all discourse to medical topics, though a semi-formal, “How are you today, Mr zone?” will be acceptable.
Nine and a half hours and 217 views and nobody has taken me to task for such a supercilious attack during National Nurse Week? Does that mean people agree with me? This is uncharted territory.
The new screamer sounds like a goat from a distance. An angry and sad goat.
I really don’t like the “friendly” stuff. Do what you gotta do, and get it over with. And being called by my first name irritates me. You assume a level of casual I did not give you.
I don’t much care for my first name. People who know me call me by my nickname. Out of the zillions I have known, I have only allowed two people to call me by my first name. Both of them really liked the name, and they just SAID it differently.
Otherwise, don’t callme by my first name, unless you are making out a check to me.
~VOW
I always feel like I’m in trouble when I’m addressed by my legal first name as doctors offices and such. The only time Daddy used it was when he was serious, or having to dish up punishment.
I dislike “Mikey” and only ‘allow’ one person to call me that because when she says it it’s cute.
But that isn’t what Stosh did that pissed me off, it was the instant familiarity, with swearing. Does he talk like that in front of the Old Dears? I hope not. It’s not that I don’t swear like a sailor; I just don’t do it at work.
I have a name, and it has a diminutive. That’s fine. I hate my given name; but I love the diminutive. It’s me.
But in all honesty, most people just call me by the username I have here: Spoons. Never mind why; I’m more likely to respond to that, than to my given name.
In my case and my mother’s case, people getting the name from formal documents will usually get it wrong. If you are getting my firstname from some sort of file, please don’t use it.
reminds me of the surgeons visit after my gallbladder removal
it’s 4:30 am they did the op around one … I’ve been bombed on morphine since about 15 minutes after I was admitted in the er so I’m recovering in my room asleep and uncomfortable … I hear some murmuring and he says "well let’s see " and rips off the tape … which was a real ouch so yeah I’m awake sort of now and he asks about my job… i told him im disabled and on SSI … he gives me a ration of shi- for like 10 minutes saying SSI was a bunch of lazy bums and he didn’t see anything wrong with me ect …i just passed out again and i told the morning nurse later and she says " yeah he’s a dick … theres a reason doctors like him become surgeons "
A newcomer is touring Heaven’s medical center’s operating theater where they see a surgeon throwing things and abusing the nurses, then waking the patient to make fun of her insurance. The new guy is dumbfounded, asking, “You let surgeons into Heaven?”
St Peter replied, “No, that’s God. He just thinks he’s a surgeon.”
Seriously though, I do empathize. Political views are a hazard I have to occasionally maneuver around in my job, and racism even more so. wtf is wrong with east coasters that think its ok to spout that shit off here? Take it back home or to eastern washington, you won’t find your views popular in southwest Idaho. Also, tipping is an accepted practice in this industry, DO NOT brag to the crew humping your shit into or out of the house about how much money you have and not tip at least twenty each. I’ve refused bigger tips than that because I couldn’t accept a hundred from someone that looked like they needed it more than me you cheap fucking racist pos bastard!
Um, I’m sorry, got distracted, what was the question?
I usually go by a form of my middle name. It’s too much hassle to get a legal change to that, so my first name’s on credit cards, medical forms, bank accounts. But it’s really really irritating to have a clerk repeat that first name, over and over, when I’m buying something: because it’s the wrong name.
The poor clerk’s probably been told to do so by a boss who’s under the deluded impression that this gives customers a pleasant sense that the store’s friends with them. And I’m not going to bother arguing about it, especially when I’m afraid they’ll misunderstand me and think I’m saying that’s not my credit card. But I very much doubt that anybody’s convinced that a large chain enterprise loves them because their clerks can read the name on a card; and, between the people who don’t use that name, the ones who use a different form of it, the ones who don’t pronounce it the way the clerk does, the ones who want to be called M/x Lastname, and the people who just hate fake familiarity, they’re ticking a significant number of people off.
You can blame Dale Carnegie and his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. He proposed that people love to hear their name, so to ingratiate yourself with someone you should use their name as often as possible.
Maybe it works for some people, but it’s like nails on a chalkboard for me.
It’s horribly unnatural, even if the person gets the name right. People in ordinary conversation use the name generally once as part of a greeting, and then maybe if they’re making a specific point, or an introduction, or referring to somebody in the third person; but not over and over. They don’t say, “Hi, Name! How are you doing today, Name? Do you like that X, Name? Name, what do you think of this feature of the X? Name, how long have you been using X? Some people use Y with X, Name; Name, do you want to try that?”
Walmart policy is officially “CHANT”: Customers Have A Name Too. You’re supposed to call anyone paying via card or check by their names. Moreso back in the day when people paid with checks and you handed your card to the cashier to run it. Now they won’t necessarily know your name. And that hokey forced familiarity might have worked in 60s Arkansas but it turned my Yankee blood cold in the 21st century. Strangers? Addressing me by NAME? Ugh. But it never happened to me in any Walmart I went into, north or south or midwest.
I had been using a massage therapist who would talk, talk, talk my ear off while working my muscles. She did good work but she never shut up the whole time I was there. After three sessions with her, I simply started going elsewhere so I could actually relax the muscles being worked on.
I don’t have much of an opinion about medical personnel being too familiar or store clerks calling me by my first name. I’m a pretty casual individdle, though I do draw the line at blatant discourtesy.
What has me gobsmacked is that no one here has taken exception to the OP’s (self admitted) slur against Poles. Not that I’m trying to call you out, dropzone. I’m just shocked that you haven’t been piled upon.
I have explained before that, having been married to a Polish woman, I am Polish ‘by insertion.’ A big, dumb Polak as described is a type familiar to all residents of Chicagoland and Cleveland, and an embarrassment to all. In Berwyn he’d be a big, dumb Bohunk (Bohemian is one of my real ancestries). If he’s Irish and being discussed by my in-laws he’d be Pig-Shit Irish, and so on. White people can always find a way to discriminate against each other.
I get it; my mother, born and raised in Chicago, never uttered a racial slur in her life EXCEPT about The Polaks. Hee, I haven’t heard the nickname"Stosh" in thirty years;)
Again, I’m not bothered, it’s just I’ve seen people get barbequed here for much less.
