Honestly, Arnold is really coming off as an idealistic and naive person who doesn’t truly understand that
1 - a lot of people are not as truly open, honestly inquisitive and friendly to “others” (and that’s not snark at you, Arnold. I truly think you have those qualities and they are really good ones to have)
2 - it’s experiences with those jerks that make “others”* wary and/or sick of those questions. The question may be totally innocent to you, but how are they to know that?
and
3 - You are still well within the realm of “average Joe”, other than being atheist (but you’re in probably one of the most accepting areas of the country for that, I’d think). You had an accent when you came over, but it was a European accent. That, to “generic white American” is still “normal”. I’m assuming you just dress like most Americans. You are white. You are male. Intentional/chosen or not, many of the aspects of people that can (sadly) cause discrimination simply are not present in you.
If someone asked where you are from? You’re from a nice “normal” European country. You’re white, so you’re “normal” that way**. You’re a man, which yes, does still give you more privileges than women. You don’t wear “other” religious garb.
You have White Privilege. No, you didn’t choose to have it. No, it doesn’t mean that, as a white person, you are automatically guaranteed success over non-whites. But being white is still seen as the default in America*** and there are inherent advantages, even if you’d rather they not exist.
Like I said, I truly understand that you personally would never mean a question about religion to be a way to judge someone. But so many people do; can you try to understand why if you are on the receiving end of that, you’d be cautious about anyone asking those sorts of questions? Just look at Tea Party demonstrations or the protests about the ground zero mosque. There is so much hateful speech about Muslims. No, you are not one of those assholes. But someone who is Muslim has no way of knowing that off the bat.
- I hate that term, but it’s the shortest way I can say “someone different from the mainstream, by ethnicity, religion, sexual preference, or whatever”.
** Reminds me of an Indian-American (parents came over and he was born here) guy I knew. On multiple occasions, he has had this exact conversation:
Stranger: So, where are you from?
Guy: California.
Stranger: No, I mean, where are you frommmmm? (often spoken more slowly)
Guy: Callliiifooorrrniiiiaaaa?
*** Why was Michelle Obama’s dress here called “flesh colored”? It’s not flesh colored on her. Oh, it would be on some generic white woman, though.