I’d feel extremely intruded upon. I don’t even let my partner clean my house (he lives next door), because he’d be putting things away in the wrong places. At least I know where everything goes.
But if anyone wants to clean my bathrooms, they’re more than welcome.
Don’t do it. While it has good intentions, your idea is a bad one.
This thread was a real eye opener. Every year I visit a friend of 20+ years and stay for 4 weeks. I feel good about cleaning his house, because he is kind enough to let me stay there. And if I was the host, I would be tickled if someone cleaned my house. But alas, from this thread I have learned that not everyone feels the same. From now one I will ask permission.
I wonder if this is a ‘regional’ thing?
I come from an old fashoned family. Mainly from south Texas and south Louisianna.
Whenever the ‘women folk’ from my family (with the exception of my mom) stay at my place, the last thing they do before they leave is clean my house. They don’t go in my bedroom but they do clean up everything else.
At frist, I thought this was just a family thing. But then I had some friends of my sister that needed a place to stay.
These ladies came to my house and did the exact same thing. Which surprized me.
[Note: I’m not proud of the whole ‘women folk’ doing the cleaning bit. I’m just saying…]
That they were intelligent and discerning :D. My place always needs cleaning. It usually varies from “kinda sorta clean if you don’t look too closely” to “not quite filthy, but could get there if you let it coast another few days.”
Put me down for guilty and grateful.
ETA: Honestly, I need a maid service. I’ve been meaning to get one for awhile. But clutter ( books and whatnot ) will never not be a problem.
Thanks for all the great advice/opinions. On balance, the most I’ll do is clean the kitchen (even though I won’t be using it much myself - I’m on holiday; I’m going to eat out). Knowing this friend, I think she’ll appreciate that, though any more would veer into too dangerous territory. I’ll also leave a nice card and maybe some kind of thank you gift.
Good decision!
Also a thank you “hostess” gift is an awesome idea.
In the past, I’ve had friends who cleaned things for me. It made my delight guilt-free when they made a point of telling me they just enjoyed cleaning. I’m neater now, but I still miss those kinds of friends.
Staying for 4 weeks puts it into an entirely different category than staying for 4 days does.
And if you’ve done this for years, keep doing it–don’t change because a bunch of busybodies on the internet said we’re slobs and like it.
If I have guests, I try to clean the house as much as possible before them arriving. I wouldn’t mind them doing general cleaning, like vacuuming and dishes, but anything that would involve moving furniture or putting papers/books/clothes away, I’ll frown on it. Because that means they’ll have to go through my drawers. I keep them neat and tidy, but I don’t want people going over what I have, or worse, organizing my stuff in a different way than I do.
The one thing that did annoy me about doing general cleaning (cleaning the dishes, making the bed, vacuuming), is that my relative (whom I had invited over) has a different standard of energy saving than me. And also, since in his area there is no built-in recycling, he was throwing everything in the trash. That was easily fixed when I pointed out the recycling bins. The cleaning part… not so much. One week in my house and my water bill was doubled.
If you are only staying for a couple of days, I’d stick with doing the dishes and picking up stuff.
But there have been times when I’ve stayed with people for a while–2 weeks or thereabouts–and I’ve cleaned the bathroom thoroughly.
(1) I’ve been USING the bathroom, so some of the crud in there is MINE.
(2) My stay (even though I was invited!) has inconvenienced my hosts, in that I’m using utilities, food, soap, whatnot. Even though my hosts get the pleasure of my delightful company, I’m costing money. I figure my elbow grease in cleaning something (not to mention that most people don’t LIKE cleaning bathrooms, even their own!) is a partial compensation for that inconvenience.
(3) I look upon cleaning in the same light as shopping and preparing a meal, or taking the hosts out to dinner.
PS–People invite me back to visit again!
~VOW
This is where I am. I am painfully aware that I’m a terrible housekeeper. If you cleaned after I left it would feel ashamed. If you said “Hey, would it help you if I shoveled off the dining table and did a little cleaning?” I’d still feel ashamed but also grateful.
(Honestly though, if someone’s coming to stay I make sure things are pretty clean.)
This is always fine, but as for the need answer fast, uhh, wouldn’t the best answer be to just ask your friend? As in “Hey, do you want me to do a spring cleaning here while you are gone?”
I’d feel a combination of grateful, uncomfortable, intruded upon and guilty.
I’d say it depends entirely on the situation. Random people staying over: it’s uncomfortable. Family: very nice of them. Someone staying for a long time: expected.
For example: a friend staying over for a weekend or a few days, I want to pamper them. They are my guest, they get food, I try to make their bed look nice, make sure their glass is constantly topped up. They aren’t supposed to clean! That means I haven’t done it right. 
Family staying over: that’s a little more relaxed. They might offer to cook for me, clean a little here or there. They still get pampered, but they would do a little pampering too. I help out at when I stay with my family too. Cleaning little bits here and there. Not massive sort-out cleaning with moving furniture, just hoovering, wiping, washing up.
Friends staying a long time: if friends stay more than a week they become more like flat mates. A little hoovering is expected, giving the tub a scrub wouldn’t be awkward. If they were my actual former flat mates I wouldn’t even be freaked out if they folded and put away my washing before putting their own load in.
There are other situations where I imagine it would be less offensive. For example if it’s a shared flat anyway. I’ve stayed in student houses where I’ve cleaned the whole place as a thank you for having me (& for my own survival).
Bottom line: in your situation I would ask. Any hoovering and mild wiping down is ok, because you can say you spilled something.