I live with two cats, a spoiled middle-aged yellow female (not involved in this), and an ex-feral younger male.
Socrates(Sox), was living on the tracks behind my home, and now is MY cat.
He is normally extremely sweet to my daughters. End background.
Yesterday, he face hugged my daughter for no reason. I screamed, he released, I yelled at him, he went out.
Indoor-outdoor cats are the norm here.
He left only pin-pricks on my daughter’s face, he must have let go instantly.
He’s a cat, I’m not holding a grudge.
Today, he’s being very quiet, over affectionate, acting exactly like a told off dog.
He’s usually the epitome of a cocky cat!
So, what gives?
I hope this works.
Have there been any studies on a house cat’s short term memory? I suspect they don’t have much of one.
I can’t speak for cats (so I don’t know if this helps), but dogs clearly know they did something wrong. But that ‘guilt’ tends to only last an hour or so, I’ve never seen it drag into the next day. At that point it sounds like it’s become a learned behavior. “If I act like this my owner does that” The question is, have you been doting over your cat to get him out of his funk?
I’ve been busy today, so no, I’ve not made a fuss of him.
But, he has mainly been sucking up to/being rejected by, by the same daughter, so it might be due to that.
So, is it guilt, or wanting the fuss back?
Or, am I over estimating his intelligence, he’s a clever animal, but that’s big human emotions there.
Almost certainly learned behavior due to something being in it for him.
They are smart but do not reason like we do nor have emotions akin to what we would recognise.
Apparently cats are only vocal in the wild as kittens or in a fight. Their adult vocalization as house cats is a learned behavior as it gets attention and reward.
I see what you’re saying here. He is acting this way to get something, but what thing?
He’s been fed, he got his usual amount of attention from me on a busy day, but he’s specifically targeting my daughter for attention, and being “sad”, when rejected.
My husband believes the cat is feeling guilt or fear of being homeless again. I’m thinking that’s way deep for a cat. But, he’s being strange, and I’m puzzled.
Without the ability to literally experience things from the cat’s point of view, I don’t think it’s possible to distinguish between the cat feeling:
a.) “Oh, I did something bad. I’m SO sorry”
and
b.)“You don’t like what I did, but I want you to act nice to me/pet me/give me treats, so I’m sucking up to you.”
Certainly our cats know when they’ve done something wrong, and can read our emotions about it via our language, body language, etc. Whether they themselves feel remorse or are simply acting repentant practically or even cynically is, I think, impossible to answer. But it’s tempting to think they really do feel that they’ve done wrong (even if they might not know why).
Cats DO have long-term memory, of that I have no doubt. They do thjngs that suggest they remember actions and behaviors from a long time back, and arte consistent in their behavior.
“Guilt” requires a sense of morality, a knowledge that some things are right and others wrong, and that one has done something wrong.
A cat or dog is not capable of that. Neither is a small child, for that matter. At most, a cat or a dog or a toddler may realize, “What I just did has made the big people REALLY angry at me… so I’d better exhibit sorrowful, submissive behavior to keep them from punishing me.”
The cat definitely is NOT thinking sadly, “I’m such a bad cat, and I really regret scratching the furniture.” A dog is NOT thinking, “I’m such a bad dog, and I sincerely regret eating the garbage.” Nor is a 3 year old really sorry about drawing on the wall. To them, morality just means “Stuff that makes the big people angry can get me in trouble.”
Learned behavior means they try something out and learn from the reaction to it. I think your daughter is behaving like a kitten who was bitten too hard… “No,you hurt me,no play” She might try playing with him tomorrow… Watching him and if he does it again,Hiss loudly at him.
So that seems logical and plausible. I remember the toddler years, no real remorse, just a desire to be loved.
It does however beg the question, does Sox care that he’s in disgrace with my eldest?
If she hates him forever, it will make no material difference to his life, but he’s still sucking up to her.
I’d love to know why, but it’s starting to look like a case of “cats are weird”.
It’s not a case of cat pestering reluctant human, it really resembles sad puppy.
I feel like if she forgave him the status quo would return.
Husband firmly believes that, Sox fears that, since daughter is a permanent fixture, he could be evicted if she stays mad.
That makes me sad, I want him to feel safe here.
It’s probably more about dominance. Your cat went too far, got smacked down, and is now showing submissive behavior to get back in the good graces of a dominant pride member.
Oh, interesting.
I could see that, if cats weren’t such solitary creatures.
Sox hates all other cats with a passion, except my old ginger lady. In fact, she helped him join the family, learn to be petted, and so on.
Could she have taught him the idea of a pack life?
Cool, if we’re a pack, I definitely want to be alpha.
Whilst male cats are solitary for preference, we force them into social groups and so force them to (re)learn social group behavior they last used as a kitten. Remember the relearned vocalizations I mentioned earlier?
This learned behavior is I am sure rewarded in your household - otherwise he would not helped have socialize your other cat. But there is always something in it for him, I’m afraid.
Social group harmony in animals generally requires a pecking order (the phrase comes from a study of dominant chicken behavior in the first place!) and animals generally don’t care where they are in that order so long as it is clear. Your cat is just testing and adjusting to that. He will feel safe if you are clear where the humans stand, and for the sake of all of you that needs to be inclusive to but above him and the other animals in the house!
The cat is just pretending… sooner or later will do it again… or something similar…
Cats are facultatively social. It’s why ferals will gather into colonies in the presence of enough concentrated resources. They don’t form packs, but they do form individual social bonds ( you’ll see a particular pair or more of ferals always hanging out together in a friendly fashion ) and will establish loose dominance hierarchies, which can vary somewhat depending on the particular social situation. So dominance can enter in the picture, though I’d be inclined to say it plays a somewhat larger role in cat-cat interactions than human-cat interactions. Since cats aren’t pack animals, they typically aren’t as interested in constant jockeying for position and fawning over an alpha.
No chance.
I’m the momma, and if momma’s not happy, no one’s happy.
I am the supplier of food, and the kids inform me that I’m way scarier than daddy.
He chased a Fox out of the garden today, so I can say with confidence that he is feeling more like himself.
He’s a strange one, he won’t admit that he’s no longer a “full” tomcat, so is super arrogant around the neighbourhood, but loving in the house.
Put it another way: guilt is something that can eat away at people even when NOBODY else knows they’ve done anything wrong. People can feel gui;lty about things they’ve only FANTASIZED about. And they can feel guil;t when they’re all alone.
A human can sob, “How could I have done that? How could I even have THOUGHT about that? I’m a horrible person. But my friends/spouse/family all think I’m so good. I’m such a phony and hypocrite…”
Would a cat worry about any of those things? Would a cat feel bad about doing something destructive that the people don’t know about? Would a cat CONTINUE to feel bad about an offense after the people seem to have calmed down and forgotten about it?
I do have the one example: our cat was strictly indoors, but wanted to go out all the time. Once, after we had been away for a few days, he snuck out.
I quickly grabbed him and he hissed and bit me. Not just a nip, either: he sunk his teeth into my arm about as deep as they would go.
A few moments later, he started purring at me. This was a cat who rarely purred.
I’m sure he had some sort of regret or remorse for biting me like that.