For the past five years, I’ve been mildly depressed, with all the usual symptoms.
My husband, whom I met four years ago, doubts me when I say I feel miserable most of the time. The main reason he doubts it, is that I still have my sense of humor- I laugh at funny stuff and I make him and others laugh, too.
For me, humor has very little to do with my (way too low) baseline of happiness. It’s just a trait. I suppose people who are deeply depressed lose their sense of humor, but I wonder if humor can stay intact when a person is mildly depressed.
There’s no correlation between depression and humor, as far as I know. Absolutely yes, depressed people can have a sense of humor. I think your husband misunderstands what depression is, what humor is, or probably both.
Absolutely. I have a friend who is undiagnosed, but who would probably would be a slam dunk. He has self-medicated with one abusive substance after the other over the years, from alcoholic, to heavy smoker/coffee nut ( ten super-size mugs of espresso-strength brew a day ), to non-smoking teetotaller junkie, back to “clean” alcoholic, etc.
Frequently hilarious, all the same. Great self-deprecating sense of humour.
Definitely! Back when I was hospitalized for depression, I noticed that those of us who were seemed to have very good senses of humor and genuinely enjoy a good laugh. Maybe it was a way of countering the darkness. When I’ve been depressed, I’ve sometimes made jokes to put other people at ease and fool them into thinking it isn’t that bad. Other times, it’s been a way of safely releasing the pain, and sometimes it’s just being aware that life or a particular situation really is a bit ludicrous when you think about it.
Consider this: “Funny” is the result of an unexpected perspective on a situation. That’s why jokes frequently follow the “3” rule. 2 events of predictable outcome establish a pattern and set up the zinger which breaks the pattern in an unexpected way. A really deep depression skews your perception of everything and gives you an odd perspective on things. When that’s your natural state of mind, conversations with normal people are filled with “zingers.” If you’re not too far gone you can still appreciate the humor of the situation. And sometimes your only escape is a good laugh.
My oldest sister, who suffered severe clinical depression for about 17 years, was reportedly making and laughing at jokes the night before she killed herself.
Given that, I’d say that yes, it’s possible to be mildly depressed and still have a sense of humor.
I have been clinically depressed for about 50 years, and I wouldn’t have survived this long without my outrageous sense of humor.
Depression runs on my father’s side of the family, and a few of his relatives don’t have much of a sense of humor. They are miserable wretches, and horrible to be around.
Absolutely. I’ve been depressed a lot in my life. I’ve gotten to a place where I feel MUCH better, even without antidepressants. But I’m having a LOT of work stuff going on and have been having days where I had to use all my powers of sucking my emotion up and putting in a box and telling it “Shut up! I have work to do!”
So while talking to the BF, I’ll be sobbing (I can finally let it out) and he’ll say, “Do you have any fun stories from today?”
And there will be at least like two things that I said that cracked people and me up.
I always think of the Bill Murray movie “Quick Change” where he robs a bank dressed as a clown.
Guard: “What kind of clown are you?!?!”
Bill:<calmly>: “The laughing on the outside, crying on the inside kind, I guess.”
Sure it’s possible. Especially if the humor is dry, ironic, or sarcastic
And depression can manifest in different ways any how. I’ve been in a mild depression all year, but it manifests for me more as apathy and lack of motivation - I don’t really feel “sad” or “angry” as in the stereotypical depression.
Lots of people think the way your husband does. “You don’t SOUND depressed!” They don’t understand that these things don’t always go hand-in-hand. It doesn’t sound logical to them because they’re not depressed and they don’t really know anything about it. It’s logical to YOU because you are the one feeling the symptoms. I suggest you see a doctor. You’ve identified the symptoms of depression and you know what feels right and what doesn’t. I can almost guarantee your doctor will agree with those who say you can be depressed AND maintain a sense of humor. Good luck to you.
In my own experience, yes. And there are more than enough varieties in senses of humor between different people, and in the same person at different times, to be able to coexist with a state of mild depression—hell, even in a state of deep depression, too, I’d wager. Laughter doesn’t preclude tears, sorry as I am to say it.
And sorry to hear about your own depression, Maastricht.
