Let’s say there is a person that you hate, because of what he posts and writes on the internet. Is it possible to befriend him when you meet him in real life? Or is it possible to like his personality/character when you encounter him in real life? Did you ever have an experience like that?
That’s my experience. Most Dopers like me okay if I meet them, and really dislike me if I just posted in the same threads they did. I usually feel the same way about them.
+1 on this.
I don’t think that most people would say face-to-face many of the things they post anonymously online. Most people are aware of and follow societal expectations of politeness. So it’s entirely possible that someone you despise on the Internet would seem to be a perfectly pleasant person IRL.
Plus, introducing the physical being into the relationship can have big effects on what once was simply a relationship of words. From that point, the communication between the two comes from a defined context, and not one imagined in each others’ heads, so certain grudges may be harder to hold onto.
Easily. This is a very peculiar form of communication, and tends to misrepresent us. I can’t think of a person I knew in both worlds that I didn’t like in person, including some real hairy a online types.
Yep. I have a ‘friend’ who participates in the same online forum as I do. Local forum members get together regularly (weekly, or every two weeks) but he lives interstate, so I only see him maybe twice a year at the big meet-ups.
In person, he’s a fun, easy-going, slightly quiet guy who is very likeable. Online I get urges to smash his teeth down his throat after rubbing his hypocrisy in his face.
I unfriended him on fb and skip his posts on the forum. He asked me why I unfriended him and I told him that while I like him fine in person, he’s a total arsehole online and I find his posts extremely hate-filled and rage-inducing, therefore I don’t want to see them. He said “huh” and handed me a beer and we’re all good 
Yup. And it goes both ways - I’ve discovered, to my dismay, that people I’ve known and loved for some time in person drive me insane online. I’ve learned not to pay any attention to Facebook posts from some of my cousins or my daughter’s boyfriend.
I’ve also met a number of people whose online personas drove me nuts but who were just lovely in person. I finally learned not to hate anyone because of the way they come across online.
I have friends that I’ve known for almost 20 years, that once I friend them on Facebook, I’ve had to block their posts, because they drive me batty. In real life, we tacitly agree to avoid these topics. There is plenty of other stuff to talk about. But online, the posts aren’t just at me, so there aren’t the same filters applied.
I have friends whom I think are wrong on every level of their politics but I like them as people. I would hate everything they posted had they been SDMB members.
Sure - I know a guy who in person is kind, generous, a good father, and also kind of obsessed with fitness and with obstacle races. Online HE IS SPARTA! He’s like a digital No Fear t-shirt and it’s soooo obnoxious. But I know he’s a good guy IRL.
Ayup! I know a guy exactly like that!
Less often, in my experience, but, yeah, it has happened.
Yeah, there’s a guy in my circle of friends who was generally well-liked by everyone until he got a Facebook account and displayed his unbelievably douchey online persona, which consists primarily of demanding cites and logical proofs in the comments of any update anyone posts about politics or economics. Like, even stupid memes that get forwarded around. I have seen him get into 50±comment flamewars with people on a routine basis. His defense for this behavior is that he “really gets people to examine their own views” and points out what he perceives to be obvious hypocrisy or irrationality so that others reading the thread may see it for what it is. It is unbelievably condescending and arrogant and douchey.
And again, in person, he is very personable, great to play board games with, friendly, etc. On Facebook he is a nightmare. A large percentage of our social circle has hidden or defriended him, and it’s spilling over into real life, as well. I notice he gets invited to very few parties these days, even though his in-person behavior is not the problem.
I talk unfiltered on the internet. IRL I am more tactful.
Interestingly, I have loads of friend internet contacts but tend to keep to myself IRL. I also have more people who despise me on the internet, and nobody that I know of that has that strong an opinion of me IRL.
Shoot, it’s possible to like a person IRL that you once hated IRL. Misunderstandings and differing points of view can be overcome IRL, online, both or either.
I’ve often felt that I would like Ken/Dio if I met him IRL. I have also met a girl I got to know online who was a royal bitch in person.
I would consider my older brother and I very close.
We talk at least once a week, for over an hour, and usually wind up laughing long and loudly. He also comes to visit once or twice a year and we have a great time together.
However, my older brother is a Fox News lovin’ right wing Republican who writes absolute bullshit on the Internet. We agreed - long ago - that neither of us would post a single thing to each other regarding politics. We just avoid discussing anything to do with politics.
So, if I knew him solely on what he posted and did on the Internet, I would have nothing to do with him.
I have a friend that I’ve known for over 20 years. IRL, we get along swimmingly, as long as we don’t discuss certain subjects, and we know what those subjects are. However, on Facebook, she will often go into extensive rants on gay rights issues (against), which drives me up a tree. I know the reason for her rants, because I know her personal history, but it’s been very tough in online discussions to not message other thread participants to say, “hey, she was dumped at the altar because her fiance came out as gay, and she was raised Nazarene on top of it, so cut her some slack”.
Oh yes, it’s very possible. The internet allows us to hide behind our little screens, so we don’t have to be so civil or respectful to other posters, because we know nothings going to happen to us (other than a possible mod note). In the BBQ Pit, a person makes one post that doesn’t seem right, and they start getting called assholes, dickheads, etc., and I don’t think a normal, sane person would have the guts to do that kind of name calling in person.
I not only think it’s possible but quite likely, and there’s a few different aspects at work. First, the internet provides a level of anonymity. Even on a forum like this where we have to register to post, people only know about us what we tell them, they don’t know the “real” us, whereas, even in a casual meeting, people are actually laying eyes on us. This, I think, leads us to treat people more like real people when we meet them. It’s not unlike how some people can be more impatient and reckless and curse at someone when driving, but be much more personable when actually talking to them (though, I think there is something to someone who drives very different from how they otherwise behave). So, there’s a level of dehumanization on the internet, in both directions, and even in how we present ourselves.
Second, we’re more likely to have limited scope of a person’s interests on the internet. Especially on a forum like this, with heavy political discussion and other divisive topics, we’re likely to run into them only on topics we have in common, which may be very few and far between, and if we strongly disagree with them on those topics, we might not get along online, but meeting people in real life, we see a lot more about that person. Even here, I see some posters who I can hardly ever agree with on some topics, but on others, I feel they’re quite reasonable. On the internet, it’s easy to divorce those concepts of the person or completely miss them, but in person we may find that someone only talks politics here because they don’t get that outlet in other ways and we actually would get along with on tons of other things.
Third, there’s the simple difference between written and verbal communication. It’s easy to read a long post in the wrong tone and end up thinking the wrong thing. In person, you get all that extra information and you’re less likely to jump to conclusions about what that person is trying to say, because you haven’t just spend 5 minutes reading it with the wrong tone, you get that immediate response.
In fact, I even know a few people that I get along with great in person, but are intolerable online because of the topics they focus on. I could easily see it going the other way, I’d just be a lot less inclined to meet up with someone I didn’t like online hoping I’d like them in person.