I don’t think name changing is pretentious at all. I’m actually surprised more people cursed with stupid names don’t change them as soon as they turn 18. I absolutely would have changed my name asap if I hadn’t been given one I like. (Not saying your name is stupid, just saying there are a lot of them out there) As for men changing their names, I think they should be able to without so much guff from people. I get the whole “family name” thing, but unless there are millions of dollars of wealth to follow that name, who cares?
Do be prepared for possible resistance/repercussions from close friends and family, though.
A (very close) friend of a (very close) friend decided a few years ago to change his name from Bob to Joseph for religious reasons (he’s Subud, don’t know what that has to do with it).
He recently, after the death of his wife from cancer and his own battle with cancer, has gone back to Bob.
Other than having to stop and double-think it every time you refer to him (or call him by name) for a month or so after each name change, it hasn’t been a big deal.
My sister has a nickname which is used for almost all purposes except for legal paperwork. As a child, her nickname (a diminutive of her actual name) ended in “y”. When she was around eleven or so, she decided to change it to end in “i”. Yeah, a bit cutsey, but not unusual among tweens of that era.
When she was sixteen or so, she decided to change it again to end in “e”, and has been that way ever since. For some reason, I’ve always found this version pretentious.
But then, I’ve always thought of her as more than a bit pretentious anyway.
Well, it’s easier to fix than a poorly chosen tattoo.
Often it seems to me to be an attempt to distance oneself from some personal issue that runs much deeper than a signature, and the issue will still be there new name or not.
But, if it makes you feel better and/or you have an unfortunate name, go for it.
There was a guy who changed his run of the mill name to Optimus Prime. I always thought that was pretty cool.
I’ve told my husband when he dies ( he swears he is outliving me, anyways) that I am changing my name entirely because I pretty much loath my first and last name.
I love to fling the wild and unusual names at him.
I should just change it to Shirley Ujest and be done with it.
I’m of two minds on this one. I’ve never quite understood why people take such umbrage when their name is mispronounced / misspelled (this coming from someone who has exremely simple first and last names that are almost never spelled correctly the first time). Obviously lots of people here find it a big deal and I wouldn’t call that pretentious exactly but it seems vaguely, er, selfimportant.
On the other hand, as others have said, it’s your name and you should do whatever gives you satisfaction. You won’t owe anyone an explanation or justification but don’t be surprised if you find yourself constantly in the position to give one.
It’s not that I care about it being mispronounced for its own sake. My first name has about a 50/50 chance of being spelled correctly, despite being common, and that doesn’t bother me. It’s that the mispronunciation itself is really eck-sounding. Nag. Like an old horse, or a biddy mother-in-law.
B. Mine is pronounced right but is always spelled wrong because it’s only five freaking letters long. I’ve spelled it with the corrections since I was five.
C. Changing one’s name for any reason other than following the social norm, as you did when you married, or to go back to square one when you dumped that bastard, is generally tacky. ETA: But women are allowed considerable more leeway when it comes to tacky.
Meant to add: I changed my middle name to my husband’s last name when we got married. The clerk was so genuinely confused that she kept insisting that I wanted it hyphenated, which wasn’t the case. I just didn’t realize that the middle-name thing was an option until a few days before the ceremony, and I liked the idea. I did, however, call my mom to make sure the middle name wasn’t anything important, and it wasn’t; it just flowed with the first-last names, is all.
People call me Mrs. Salgado all the time, and I respond no problem, and don’t bother to correct people on it. It doesn’t bother me at all.
Friends of my parents changed their name from ‘Cock’ to ‘Cochran’ and everyone thought ‘I don’t blame them’.
So, I think if you have a name which you strongly dislike and change it to something non-pretentious, I don’t imagine most people have a problem with it, appart from close family, that is.
Okay, now this I can get behind.
<hijack> I went to grade school with three kids whose last name was “Cocke”. Two of them were twins who prononuced it “coke”. The other was a girl who, whenever the teacher would take roll and say 'Patricia Coke" she would loudly yell “it’s COCK!”.
Neither of these was pretentious. They were both very clever marketing schemes. Prince’s move was backed up with more than just that. He wanted to metaphorically bugger his record company while still complying with his contractual obligations, retain his personal dignity with regard to his real name, and still have it be a marketing success. He achieved all of that. (Unfortunately, the peak of his musical success was already behind him.)
You’re right, but it still makes me knee-jerk, and it’s much worse when you’ve told them how to pronounce it and they still pronounce it wrong.
What drives me absolutely batty is this. I go by a dimunitive of my legal name, one I chose myself. Sometimes people, when they see my real name in print, will attempt to jokingly pronounce it at me. They of course generally completely butcher it and then want to know how to pronounce it properly. I want to snootily say, “That’s not my name, my name is what I told you it was, now stop it.” But that’s rude.
Well, people *can *be dolts, even when not intending to. I don’t blame someone for wanting to know how it’s properly pronounced if they ask in a respectful way and not bring their own ingnorance into it and making a tasteless joke. Maybe, to save your sanity and annoyance, you could look at it like they’re sincerely trying to take an interest. Maybe say “the *correct *pronounciation is but I go by _________”.
This. When I moved to a new city I started going by a name I chose rather than my legal name. Everyone I know calls me by my chosen name except my family. I don’t bother to correct them because they’ve known me so long by that name I just figure I’ll put up with it. One reason I never liked my given name much is that it identifies me too closely with a specific age and demographic group, which I find annoying. The name I go by is common but not associated with any race, generation, or socio-economic standing.
