What you’re looking for is East Asians. Good on you! Break some fucking barriers.
I think it’s a preference and it’s difficult (if not impossible) to force oneself to be physically attracted to someone that they just aren’t. There’s nothing racist about it.
Given the variety of people in the world, though, I think it would be pretty hard for anyone not to find at least one person of a given race that they find attractive.
I’m white, but prefer Hispanic women who are a bit darker over my own race, so am I reverse racist?
The only black women I find attractive are the one with very white features (think Vanessa Williams). If thy have ‘black hair’ or a flatter face, I am very turned off. Racist?
I am very turned off by Middle Eastern women in general. I will admit that there was a very pretty girl I used to work with that was into me at one point, but when I found out she was Iranian, it was an instant turn-off, and I never pursued it as a result. This did not in any way affect our working relationship and I think she was great at her job. Is that racist?
The problem is that when we stopped being allowed to say Oriental, we substituted Asian for it, even though the two words have different coverage geographically.
It’s a little like calling black people African Americans, even if they’re Caribbean immigrants to the UK.
That’s why most folks use “East Asian” and “South/ South East Asian” to describe the various people.
Ach, I suppose. But really, not knowing that folks of subcontinental origin are Asian? That’s a bit messed up. I mean, where did the poster think they were from? Norway?
Uh, maybe a bit racist, yeah. You liked her, she liked you, but that changed when you found out she was Iranian?
I mean, it’s one thing to have a preference. Most women I like are white, East Asian or Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Sri Lankan (is “subcontinental” an acceptable term?). But there are also black women I like. I think if I liked a woman but changed my mind once I knew more about her race or nationality then that wouldn’t reflect well on me.
Have two, they’re small.
“Most”?
I can’t think of a single race for which I haven’t seen an attractive person.
To answer the question, it would only be racist if you made a preemptive statement like “I would never date a person of such or such race”. That said, I believe some people have a hard time differentiating culture and race, unfortunately. Hell, even personality traits, for that matter.
It’s not racist to not be attracted to people of other races. But it damn well can be racist in how you express your lack of attraction.
The terms we use don’t necessarily have much to do with logic and geography both. For example: are people from Florida southerners? Can’t get any farther south in the US than that in the 48, but most people would say they’re not southerners.
Is this a joke post?
Who cares if it is or isn’t “racist”, if it’s not actively interfering with someone else’s rights?
Errm . . . Yep.
Pretty sure that’s a near perfect example of racism, per this topic.
You ruled her out as a potential date not because of her personality or physical attractiveness, but purely on the basis of her ethnicity.
As for the OP’s question, attraction and preference aren’t necessarily racist in and of themselves, but choices based on attraction or preference are, by definition, discriminatory. So, if you aren’t attracted to people of a certain race AND refuse to date all people of that race on the grounds of nonattraction, then that’s racism. ****
Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but only arseholes refuse to date brunettes.
Also, keep in mind that attraction to people of other races does not negate racism.
Bravo.
Until I read this, I thought MeanOldLady had won the thread right off the bat.
Oh come on. There has been at least two.
Ewwww. My suggestion to improve the dating experience is for you to put that description, word for word, in your personals ad.
Assuming want2befree is white, are you seriously saying that a white dude with a “slanted eyes” fetish is breaking barriers?
Again I say: ewwwwww.
“Allowed”? Dude, you’re allowed to say whatever offensive thing you’d like to say, it’s the glory of free speech. The problem in this case isn’t the word being used to describe the racist fetishizing of women, though; indeed, to improve the dating experience, he probably ought to put the word “Oriental” in his personals ad.
And yes: given that you’re allowed to be racist in a free country, declaring at the outset that you won’t date members of a particular race is an excellent example of someone exercising their right to be racist, IMO.
LHoD, I think you might want to get your irony meter checked, re. your take on ** ReticulatingSplines** comments.
On the other hand, if it turns out that **want2befree **is just yanking our collective chains, then I may need to get my own irony meter recalibrated. ('Cause, yeah, that squicked me out too.)
Dude, don’t you know that using your irony meter on the Internet voids its warranty? Sure way to make the thing explode.
In any case, you may be right, and if so, consider this a whooshpology.
As someone who has dated outside her race
I don’t think it’s racist to not want to date outside your race and it’s no more wrong than not wanting to date outside your religion, or culture.
People do not date in a vacuum. You may totally fall in love with wonderful person of a different race, they may be the best person on the planet, they may treat you like you walk on water - but if your family and friends are never going to accept that person being in your life, and you are going to be forced to choose, it may simply not be worth it.
I never let my family/friends come between us. They don’t have to like who I date but they will respect my decision as an adult to choose who I want in my life.
Unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way. He felt it was disrespectful to the racist members of his family to bring me around. He told me I couldn’t make him choose between me and his family, I said I’m not the one making you choose, they are. I was tired of being hidden away, tired of being treated like his ‘dirty little secret’. I got tired of spending holidays with my family while he went with is, not being able to go to family events because I was white, not being allowed in his home when certain family members were there. What he saw as respect for his family I saw as a lack of respect for me. Eventually I lost all respect for him as a man because he was not willing to stand up for me. He said I don’t know the meaning of respect.
If you are going to date outside your race you have to be willing to deal with the fallout and if not then you shouldn’t go there.
The truth is, relationships can be hard work, and people who share similar a background, race, religion and culture have an easier time of it.
Going up against the expectations of society, your family and friends is not easy. There is nothing wrong or racist about choosing to stay in your comfort zone. Not everybody is going to be comfortable being the only person of their race in the room, not everybody is going to be comfortable knowing certain members of the other person’s family are going to dislike them or disapprove of them simple because of their race. I’d never judge any person who wants to date only their own race as racist.
If I had known what I would have been up against I never would have dated my ex. It won’t stop me from dating outside my race, but I’ll sure be asking a lot more questions before I get involved again.
Jerry: I should have talked to her, I love Chinese women.
Elaine: Isn’t that a little racist?
Jerry: If I like their race, how can that be racist?