To be fair, I didn’t say the less gracious people were the non-eaters. I hate when people think that anything about my eating is any of their business. I think I’ve had the benefit of being relatively non-picky and therefore have never had anyone try to force food on me—that’s appalling behavior to me. And when people hear the things I am allergic to (strawberries, peaches, etc), their response is to feel badly for me, not to try to trick me into ‘proving’ that I’m not really allergic.
What I find strange is some people call themselves vegetarians but do eat fish. Like I said up thread I don’t care what sort of diet people have, but I do sort of care about adherence to common definitions of words. To me, vegetarian = no meat. I understand when you start to talk about eggs and dairy products that becomes a fine line of sorts and things get murky. But fish is totally, 100% meat, it’s dead animal flesh/muscle.
I can sort of understand the people I’ve known that went vegetarian for health reasons continuing to eat fish. Salmon and tuna are like two of the healthiest meats you can eat, and in that regard are a lot different than most meat offerings. But even some of the people I know who have switched for ethical reasons will still eat fish because they argue fish have such underdeveloped brains they aren’t really capable of any meaningful suffering. That’s all fine and good, but I still don’t think you can call yourself a vegetarian if you regularly eat meat.
You just don’t pay attention to it. Think about something else while you’re clearing the table.
My Arrogant Opinion[sup]tm[/sup] is vegetarians eating fish are relying on the Catholic Church’s definition of meat: “Fish is not meat because we declare it so…”
My further Arrogant Opinion[sup]tm[/sup] is that for something to qualify as non-meat, it has to inspire CO[sub]2[/sub] and give off oxygen. Note this is not a dig on the vegetarians eating fish, but is a slam on the Catholic Church instead.
People eating fish who want to eat fish and call themselves vegetarians are fine with me. It’s their diet, and they can make up their own rules, just like Opal wanting to give her vampire protagonist falsies.
The birthday cake’s from Sam’s are virtually inedible. The frosting feels and tastes like pure shortening. Gross.
Or the Proclaimation of the Cobain circa 1991: “It’s ok to eat fish cuz they don’t have any feelings” 
I don’t eat fish either (not a vegetarian, just a hayter). When asked I say “Oh, I only eat tuna salad with more mayo than tuna. And Filet-o-Fish from McDonalds which scientifically may not be fish.” Then we all have a little chuckle and move on with our lives. If they’re good, we’ll dine together at the local hibachi and I give them my shrimp appetizer (comes with meal!) and they’re all “OMG FREE SCRIMP!” and everybody wins.
They could also be relying on the Jewish kosher laws’ definition of meat. We don’t consider fish to be meat, either.
Replace “what I find strange” with “What pisses me off” and we’re in complete agreement. Those people make it much harder for the rest of us.
I can see how it could make someone get all resentful. Chances are the in-laws are trying to be polite, but there is a certain point where it gets ridiculous. If every single time you visit, over a period nearing a decade, someone says: “Would you like a cocktail?” and every single time you say “No, it makes my eyes bleed and my tongue turn black with gangrene” and they still offer you a beer the next time, it makes you want to punch them. It may be intended as politeness, but it still kind of says: “We don’t really listen to you.”
If MsRobyn has been telling them for years that she doesn’t drink - ever, not even a little bit. Then after awhile, I’m sure she just wants to yell: “Do any of you ever actually listen to me???”
It’s different if they are people you see only once a year or so, but even then, I bet if she said “You love eating X? So do I!” only once they would remember.
+1
“Just because you’re vegetarian, I made something special just for you!”
(It’s fish. Eewww. Everything else at this party has meat in it. The vegetables have meat in them, the rolls have lard, etc…)
“Umm, actually being vegetarian means I don’t eat fish.”
" 
But so-and-so says she’s vegetarian and eats fish…"
or “…chicken…”
or “…lamb…” or WhateverTF meat is the allegedly nonmeat du jour.
I’ve really noticed regional variances on what people assume or don’t assume. Here in Toronto, we are usually asked questions and they are usually less naive, maybe because there are more vegetarians and vegetarian restaurants catering to the mainstream. IME here, people seem to know there are varying shades of grey, so we’'re more likely to hear:
“You’re a vegetarian? Do you eat any animal products?”
When I visit my U.S. relatives in the midwest. They won’t ask questions at all, they’ll just offer you salad (usually iceberg lettuces with grated carrots).
My relatives on the east coast will deluge you with questions: “What about chicken?.. Eggs? How about eggs?.. Is it just red meat that you don’t eat or all meat?.. Does fish count as meat? Do you eat fish?.. Cheese? What about ice cream?.. I” I tend to think it would be easier if they just as the what do you eat question rather than ask in trial-and-error style.
My relatives down south just say: “Um… I don’t know what to feed you. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen.”
And YMMV. This is just ow my particular family does it.
it can be fun and a real egoboost to have vegetarians over for dinner … when you can spring tasty vegetarian [i will tend to default to making stuff vegan and not worrying about what people will and wont eat] I have this likker serving platter for salad fixings from tupperware from about 15 years ago, a series of small containers around a central one. I fill each one with different salady additions like thawed frozen green peas, corn, drained and rinsed garbanzo beans, diced onions, diced peppers, marinated tofu dices, nuts and flakes. They also give me a chance to get out my moosewood cookbooks and try new stuff =) [some of their recipes are a bi tlarge for only 2 people =(]
Sorry. 
To be fair, though, I do call myself a “veg-aquarian” and always qualify that I eat vegetables and “our friends from the sea”. I don’t try to pass myself off as a true vegetarian.
Though everyone does recognize that fish are animals, and the most useful definition of vegetarian is a person who doesn’t eat animals. I’ve adopted this for myself of late because otherwise you do get into the ridiculous “what about chicken?” thing.
There’s already a perfectly good word for someone who eats fish: pescetarian.
Yeah, but that word is boring.
I thought that was someone who only ate Joe Pescis.
Plus, people rarely seem to know its meaning or they think I’ve said Presbyterian.
Foie Gras Geese (which is what I’m assuming you’re talking about) live the fookin’ high life compared to your average chicken. Or cow. Or pig. There’s not that many Fois Gras producers in the US, and those that are tend to raise free-range birds who have pretty happy lives. I’ve seen videos of them being fed, and they don’t seem to mind it too much at all.
Compare to your average chicken farm, where the chickens are packed in so tight they can’t move, are bred so that their breasts are so big that even if they had room they could barely walk, and are de-beaked so that they don’t peck each other to death. If you’re worried about animal cruelty, go for the foie gras, every time.
(sorry - this is just my pet peeve - people who refuse veal and foie gras on ethical grounds but who have no issue at all eating mass-produced chicken and beef and pork.)
Preach it, sister. There’s such a difference between what “sounds pretty cruel” :rolleyes: and what IS cruel. I’ve watched ducks being fed for this. It is NOT the same (anatomically, if nothing else) as doing it to a human, for much the same reason that it is not cruel to put a collar and leash on a dog.
Also, serious lols at pescetarian/Presbyterian!
One problem I sometimes have is people commenting on how much I’ve eaten. “There’s so much still on your plate! Don’t you want more? You’re so skinny!” It’s like they think because I’m thin, they have license to comment about my eating habits. They would never do this with a fat person (“OMG, you ate 3 helpings? You’re so fat, shouldn’t you stop?”), of course, but because I’m on the other end of the spectrum, then it’s all right.
You know what? No, it isn’t all right. It annoys me. My rule is that when my stomach tells me it’s full, that’s it. If there’s still a lot of food left, so be it. I have a really fine line between “full” and “sick” and I’m not crossing it, no matter how much you try to coerce me.