Like many Americans, I love hearing people speak in an accent, be it English, Russian, French, or anything else, partially because I like hearing words pronounced differently, and partially because I like to ask, “Are you from ____ ?” to see if I’m right. About half the time I guess correctly, and no one has ever taken a modicum of offense, until recently.
I was working the floor when a group of student nurses came in, and I agreed to have two shadow me. One was a man, probably about 40, who spoke with a hint on an accent, so after about five minutes, I asked, “Are you from Australia?”
He was not from Australia. He spent the next two minutes angrily lecturing me about how rude I was for asking, “Are you from Australia?” and not, “Where are you from?”, and by the way, English accents don’t sound like Australian accents, and so forth. I was rather taken aback by being lectured so vehemently, so I very maturely spent the rest of the day insinuating that he was Australian at every opportunity.
I guess it might be a bit grating if people are constantly guessing your country of origin wrong - people are constantly getting my name wrong, and it can be a bit irritating - but is it really all that rude to ask if someone happens to be from a specific place? What I’m asking is, on the rudeness scale of 0 to 10, 0 being completely acceptable and 10 being, I don’t know, wagging your penis at a passing stranger, where does the ‘country of origin guessing game’ fall?
Maybe a little, depending on how you ask. But it’s far more rude to lecture someone for two minutes about it!
But I admit, sometime I just want to say “I’m from America” and be done with it.
(Of course I never get questions about my accent, since I went to school here, I have almost no discernible foreign accent. I just get it from my looks.)
On the other hand, I’ve heard that asking someone where they are from is rude. The person with this view (on a radio talk show) said it is code from “you don’t belong here”. Having spent a lot of time in a mobile society (military) asking where someone is from is a search for a common interest.
I don’t see why it would be rude. This guy sounds like a jerk. I give it a 0.
This used to happen to me all the time when I moved to the States. I’m South African but many people would guess British. It happens less now, perhaps my accent has faded over time.
I always wonder, and I ask. Taxi drivers, people having a drink at a café, people asking for directions, whatever. Rarely if ever do I get a negative reaction, and very often it leads to interesting discussions.
ETA : Sorry. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that your thread was about guessing, not asking. Well, I don’t guess genrally, unless tasked to after having asked where someone is from. Not sure if guesing is rude or not.
If I were him, I’d probably roll my eyes at you, nothing more. But wait: if he’s shadowing, it doesn’t imply that you’re his superior, but you are probably in a position above him, so he probably shouldn’t berate for some time. Or maybe his family was from NZ, who are the natural enemies of Australians.
So, no, not super rude. The people in Anaamika’s post are rude. “Where is your family from?” may be okay, but asking where she is from implies being seen as foreign.
And personally, I never assume, just in case I’m wrong. I didn’t want to assume a coworker was from Poland, even though I was 99% sure (not -ski or -ska so not immediately obvious).
My boyfriend, who is English, but spent his " language forming" years in Australia and has lived here twenty years has a bit of a muddled accent. Guessing where other Brits are from by their accent and vice versa is apparently a great sport and an icebreaker, whereas he used to get mighty irritated when Americans asked. I pointed out to him that I bet he’s gotten laid more times than he can count due to his accent and he really needs to get the hell over it. It’s just people showing an interest, and his “I’m from Birmingham. Birmingham, Alabama” is neither funny, nor helpful. Don’t know if he’s actually seen the error of his ways or just wants to keep me off his back, but today he just smiles and says “England”
So, I don’t think it’s rude. I, like Anaamika ,constantly get asked where I’m from due to the way I look . I just find it a nice conversation starter.
If you catch me when I am not really paying attention, my default answer, without even thinking, is “Michigan”. Then I get “No, where are you really from?”
Yeah. I was born in India, yes, but I came here when I was four! I’m from here! It’s usually what I say next, too: “I was born in India but I grew up here.” Then if they seem nice enough I may talk more about my ethnicity.
Wow. I never imagined people would find it rude. I guess if it gets asked constantly…
I actually love it when people don’t quite know what to make of me. With my hair and skin tone I get mistaken for Chicano/a or half-black when I’m indeed quite European in background. Generally other white folks are too shy to ask me my ethnicity.
I can’t understand why being foreign would be an insult. I’ve been a foreigner. I’ve known foreigners. We’re all foreign to somewhere, even if it’s this side of town versus that one. What’s the problem?
No, not really. His professor was his superior, I’m just the person he followed around to get his hours in. In fact, he’d been an LVN in the US nearly as long as I’ve been alive (he was going for his RN), so there wasn’t much anything I could show him, aside from how our specific floor worked, which wasn’t especially useful to him anyway.
When he started his rant, before the word “London” came up, I swear to God, I got all panicky and thought, “Oh Christ, he’s a New Zealander!”
I guess it’s about time to retire the guessing game. And apparently asking “Where are you from?” can be dicey too. What a shame. I love asking people about the places they’ve been, where they’re from, and how they got here. I find it so interesting.
I had a friend with a speech impediment. People thought it was an accent, so she used to ask them where they thought she was from. She certainly didn’t think it was rude that people would ask.
You know, I never pick up a Canadian accent. Until they use some Canadianism I wouldn’t know they’re not real Americans Last time I encountered this someone mentioned he hadn’t done something since he was in ‘university’. ‘College’ would have been the American way of saying it, so I asked him he was from somewhere else.
I mentioned this before, but when we were in Vegas this year, we ran into a Canadian fellow in the elevator. How did I know he was Canadian? Well, he confirmed it for me at the end of the conversation, but before that, he actually said “aboot”, he was SUPER NICE, he was wearing a hockey jersey, and he was in town for some hockey games or something.
I’ve been the foreigner in the US, living there for three years. It’s not that it’s insulting, really, it’s more that it gets tedious. I may be the first Scottish person you’ve ever met, but you’re the tenth American to ask me about my accent today.
The most common question for me was “What part of Ireland are you from?”. I’m not insulted that someone might think I’m Irish, but I hate correcting people.
Then I get “No, where are you really from?”