Ask the folks at the Green Man Pub in Wellington what they use on their bar towels:
Thread count? For towels? As far as I can tell (based on a quick search of the Lands End and Bed Bath and Beyond websites), thread count is not how towels are sold. Lands End does mention the number of grams per square meter for their bath towels, and they talk about what sort of cotton is used, but no mention of thread count.
If I remember the line from **Bridesmaids **correctly, she was not saying that the towels can’t be used after they get semen on them, but that she is constantly finding towels that crack when you touch them. (As in, substances have dried on them and caused them to be stiff.)
I’ll take “Questions I never thought I’d see Asked or Answered in this lifetime,” Alex.
My hair always regained its original softness after having been spermed. Based on that, I extrapolate that the towel argument is bullsperm. However, you should still always endeavor to know where your towel is.
T’was a bit of a play on the quoted question.
“I cracked a blanket in half.”
One of the funniest lines in a funny movie.
And a wild Hitchhiker emerges…
Well played.
So far. I’d suggest taking another whack at it.
ETA: in the name of science.
I’ve found this too.
No, semen washes out of silk PJs.
“Doing the family laundry one day, Stephanie Kwolek had a moment of inspiration that would save the lives of countless soldiers and firefighters.”
“Doing the family laundry one day, Bette Nesmith Graham had a moment of inspiration that would save time for countless secretaries and writers.”
No fabric softener.
Nope. It’s not the washing, the detergent, the fabric softener, the water or the machines. It’s simply the fabric, the way the thread is spun and what it’s spun out of and the coatings on the fabric and their durability.
In other words, it’s not you, it’s the towels. I have several sets of towels, different brands, which I got at the same time 2 years ago. They get used and washed the same amount, in the same loads with the same machine, detergent and fabric softener, all in Chicago’s hard water. One set is now meh, and one looks like you just took it off the shelf.
Doesn’t seem to be cost dependent either, at least past a certain point. The ones that look new came from Target; the ones that look meh came from Bed, Bath and Beyond and cost twice as much. And yet a third set that looks like it’s been to hell and back, but was the cheapest set, came from Wal-Mart.
The tags on the best ones say “Microcotton” and then “Thomas O’Brien”, if you’re interested. But since I have no idea how consistent their specs are, or if they’ve changed since I got mine two years ago, I can’t guarantee other towels by them will stand up as well as mine have.
My guess would be that towels would stay fluffier longer if you air-dried them instead of machine-drying them. I know that there’s always a good-sized pile of lint after every dryer load.
Yeah, but line-dried towels are stiff as boards and nobody wants that.
The best towels are old towels, well used & most of the lint washed out of them, fluffed in a dryer, with no fabric softener.
Sperm optional.
I know. That’s why I’m willing to sacrifice a little fluffiness so that I can have machine-dried towels.
Actually there are some towels that get fluffier after washing. They sort of continue to get softer and fluffier for awhile, then they fall apart. I have a set of these. I think I got them at Target. When they were new, everybody in the family complained that fluff got all over them when they tried to dry off, but after a couple of washings whatever that was (fake fluff?) disappeared.
I was really trying hard for a fluffer joke here, but I guess not hard enough.
That’s what the fluffer’s for.