My husband and I have fertility issues, and will be starting in with IUI’s early next year. I also really, really don’t like my current employer and am looking for a new job. I have an interview on Monday with a consulting firm, and if all goes well, I would be looking to start there in the new year.
I have been on the fence about job searching for a few months, specifically because we are trying to conceive. However, I had the final straw a few months ago (I even posted about it here, if some of you recall) and I’ve been looking ever since. But now I kind of feel guilty for possibly starting with a new company and then falling pregnant within a few months (hopefully!).
No. Never sacrifice your own best interest for that of an employer; they sure as hell aren’t going to do the same for you.
Interview, take the job, do everything you can to get your IUI covered by insurance, keep the pregnancy a secret from them for as long as possible, document every little slight and unpleasant interaction after they do know you’re pregnant, and take a year of maternity leave. It’s their damn problem if they don’t want to deal with having human beings for employees.
I’ve read about a study where it was shown that having a job increases fertility. Since babies are expensive, I would think that you should get a job first, and form a babby later.
I agree, they’d fire you in a second if it suited them.
You’re private health is not the concern of your employer so long as you can meet the standards for the job
Besides who’s to say you would want to give up this job? Maybe working and having the baby and going back to work right away will be a good fit for you.
Er, I thought I said in my OP that I do have a job, but want to leave? Don’t worry, I’ve been working full time since I left college 10 years ago, and am in a financial position to start a family.
You aren’t legally entitled to maternity leave unless you’ve already worked for an employer for 12 months. Just FYI. They have a right to fire you if you take leave in less than a year.
Absolutely not. It’s not their business. If they’re not reasonable enough to offer maternity leave, fuck 'em.
Here in academia women have to very carefully plan a family around their career. There are all sorts of barriers and biases that make pregnancy a liability. Pregnant women face ridiculous biases during job searches and tenure review – senior faculty is dominated by old white men. They’ll think “why should I hire her if she’s going to spend time raising a kid”? Or more perniciously, “what business does a woman have raising kids while pursuing a career?”
It’s almost impossible to start a family with a grad student’s stipend. A woman could wait until she’s tenured, but most people are in their 40s when that happens, which is awfully late to start a family. So there’s a ten year window to start a family between getting a PhD around 30 and getting tenure around 40. And that time is filled with temporary positions and job searches or promotion reviews every few years. So most people choose to start families as soon as they enter a new position. That way they sidestep discrimination at the next interview/review, and they can prove that they can keep a career moving while raising a family.
Yup, I’m in Alberta. I should double check, but I’m pretty sure it’s 3 months, and it’s also illegal to get rid of someone for being pregnant. They also have to have a job for me at the same salary when I come back after 12 months.
Well, it’s usually the first 12 weeks are covered by your company, or unemployment and your company, for 100% of your salary, then the remainder you are on unemployment, which is a portion of your salary.
Keep in mind you’re also just in the interview stage. For the interview you want to be optimistic that it’s a match on both sides, you can decide afterwards that it won’t work out for whatever reason. MHO is that you can go on an interview so long as there is a reasonable chance that you’re interested and are willing to hear what they have to say, and it sounds like you’re interested. After the interview you’ll have more information, then you can worry about the practicality of this job with a pregnancy.
And not to say there is a question of ethics, like everyone else I don’t think that’s a problem, just that in general you don’t have to figure it all out right now.
Go for it - you don’t know how long the fertility treatments will take, and being stressed out at a rotten job is not going to help matters. A pregnancy takes 10ish months - I can’t see why an employer would be pissed with someone working for them for a year-ish before taking a leave.
My former assistant (when I was working) took a full year leave after only working 4.5 months and I was excited for her more than anything else. As long as you do a good job when you’re there, I see no problem.
Thanks! I am actually quite interested in working with this company, I’ve applied there a couple of times in the last few years and this is the first time they’ve called. The job is a good fit for my experience.
Unethical? No, I genuinely don’t think so. “Ethics” are nearly nonexistent in the corporate world; something is either legal, or it’s illegal. Nothing else matters. Adjust your views accordingly.
In poor taste? No. You do what you have to do to provide for your family, however big or small it may be.
Also … and this is going to sound harsh or callous maybe … but assuming the interviews go well (good luck!!) then you having a good job is a known certainty. But if you have fertility issues and haven’t even started any IUI, then the possibility of a future baby is exactly that: a possibility. It’s rarely a good idea to trade a known certainty for an eventual possibility. So, no, you’re not being a jerk.
Not harsh at all purplehorseshoe. We will eventually have kids (adoption is our final step), but there are no guarantees for us and we realize that. That’s part of the reason I went ahead and started looking in the first place. No use being miserable here only because I thought it rude to look for a job while TTC.
The best thing my husband and I did during our infertility (I guess we’re still infertile but whatever) was to continue life as if we would not be having kids anytime soon. Go for it!
FWIW, they can get rid of you in the first three months of a job in Ontario without cause. I believe the same is true for Alberta but couldn’t confirm. That means that even if it was because you were pregnant, they are off the hook. (Mind you, you should be able to keep it from them for that long so I wouldn’t worry.)