I have an interview with the company I already have worked for for 4 years. It’s a pretty lateral move, though I’d have more guaranteed hours, and it would be a lot closer to home and the work would be more stimulating. And I’m 18 weeks pregnant.
I’m not showing yet, I just look kind of fat, so there’s no way they’d know. When should I tell them- when I’m offered the job? A month after I start? I’m pretty sure because it’s the same company I would still be covered for my 12 weeks FMLA leave. I just feel so weird about it.
To complicate things we jut put in an offer on a house, so that’s a little stress-y, since the adorable 4 bedroom house will cost about $300 more per month than our teeny 2 bedroom apartment. It’s a shockingly good deal, though. But now I feel even more concerned about losing my job.
It’s in a different location, in a different department of a large hospital system. I’m more than happy to hear someone say “what’s the big deal?” I’d love for it not to be a big deal!
You tell them about two weeks before you plan to start maternity leave, that’s when. In theory it’s not legal for them to treat you differently because you’re pregnant, but in practice they will. DO NOT MENTION IT.
Well, I would tell them in the interview, but I don’t think it’s a big deal because they’d be dealing with you pregnant no matter where you worked. But I see what you mean, logistics-wise. It seems to me you have to be honest: if you know you’re pregnant, tell them so they can plan.
Is taking maternity leave a bigger deal in the new job? Outside of it being a new job? Like it’s a new division that you’ll be helping start up & your absence would be difficult to fill for that time period & would put a significant weight on your co-workers and affect the company. Not that I think it would be a deal killer, and I don’t think it would matter legally, but I’d have a few qualms about whether my relationships with my co-workers would suffer.
When I converted from being a freelancer at a Fortune 100 to a full-time employee at the same company, I was pregnant - probably about 10 weeks, though. I told them when I got an offer. I explained to them that I understood the requirements of the job (I’d been doing it already) and was more than capable of doing it and they said that they would be more than happy to accommodate me and my pregnancy.
So I guess it depends on how comfortable you are with the company, the people you interview with and how you feel about the whole situation. If you’re going to feel bad about yourself for not telling, tell them. If you’re just concerned about getting the job, don’t. Keep in mind, though that given how long it often takes companies to hire employees and how far along you are in your pregnancy, you might not be able to hide it until you get the offer. I think it’d be even more difficult to hide it until a month after you start.
I was pregnant when I interviewed for my first post-Navy job, and because I was overweight anyway, no one knew. I wondered the same as you - when to tell the boss. I did it rather sneakily. I had a coworker who couldn’t keep her mouth shut, and I kinda sorta let it slip to her… The boss wasn’t exactly thrilled, but he couldn’t very well fire me. He was less thrilled when, 2 months after my daughter was born, I got a much better job and left.
How much maternity leave are you planning on taking?
Generally speaking, transferring to a job that you are planning on leaving is a dick move. But large employers should be prepared for these things, and it shouldn’t be an issue.
I want to take 12 weeks. At my current job me and a co-worker are going to be taking concurrent maternity leave, which will place a lot of strain on the department, but everyone is pretty chill about it. I assume at the new job someone would have to fill in for me- it’s clerical, and working from home is very unusual in my company.
I’m afraid if I tell them during the interview I won’t get hired, period. I can’t imagine that they’d be thrilled to hire someone who was going to be out for 12 weeks about 4 months after starting.
I suppose I’ll go to the interview as a good experience and cross the bridge when I come to it. I’m sure there’ll be other jobs like it available next summer when I’d consider looking again. Maybe I’ll tell them upon offer of the job? Then I can gauge how they feel about it then, and wouldn’t lose my current job if they seem upset.
Plan on not mentioning it during the interview. One of three things will happen.
The interview will be going really, really well. You feel that you want to establish trust, and your spidey sense tells you that 'fessing up to the pregnancy is the right move. Let them know during the SECOND interview As in “I do really want this job, I think we’ve really hit it off, the work is right up my alley, its closer to home and better hours. But you should know I’m pregnant and I know you can’t make a decision based on that and I probably shouldn’t mention it, but I don’t want you to resent hiring me. I’m planning on taking three months of leave.”
The interview will be going ok - keep your mouth shut.
The interview will be going badly - keep your mouth shut.
Its REALLY unlikely that things will be going so well that you want to set yourself up with the “risky trust move.” But I’ve had it happen. (I had it happen with less than six month old month baby at home - so the risky trust move was “I really am interested in this job, but you should know I have a baby and a toddler at home. If, in order to be successful, I’m going to have to work until 8pm or travel a lot, this isn’t the job for me.” I was really successful for a lot of years at that job. And they never complained when I had to leave to pick up sick kids.)
I would not mention it in the interview. It is unfortunate, but if you tell them then they will take it into consideration. I personally would mention it a feww weeks after starting the position.
Do not bring the subject up. They should not ask; it is not an appropriate question for a job interview.
However, if they were to stress that they expect the person in this role will be kicking off a new, complicated project exactly six months from now, you may decide yourself that it might not be a good idea to agree to be available and then suddenly discover you wouldn’t be available due to pregnancy.
A coworker at a job of mine did just that when interviewing for a critical position and the company remembered that when she applied for other positions later. Eventually, she left the company because she felt they were holding her back. She was right. They were. Because they had lost faith in her.
Which is why the “risky trust move” can work - but you have to have a really good idea they want you, and be willing to say “if having a baby is going to make this not a good fit, I wouldn’t want the job anyway.”
However, in this economy and jobs outlook, do not tell them. No matter how much you like the company and you think they like you, companies will do anything (even illegal) to cut costs and dump employees. It doesn’t matter how illegal it would be because most people cannot afford to fight an illegal action. You would lose regardless.
And remember the people who do the interviewing may/may not be those you would report to in the new position. While they may have “hiring authority,” HR often has the final say when it comes to actually offering a position to a candidate. So while an interviewer may have no qualms about your pregnancy, remember that HR is a management organization and not an employee organization, with the company.
Don’t tell. Besides, pregnancy is technically a disabled condition (temporarily) so it cannot be considered during the hiring process. Don’t give them any opportunity to illegal discriminate against you.
Let me give you the perspective of a hiring manager. I’m trying to fill some particular roll. I’m going to be a little pissed off when I find out a few weeks after I hire you that you misrepresented your availability and are taking a 3 month leave of absense in about 4 months.
I don’t know your financial situation, but 6-7 months isn’t that long a time. Would it make more sense to wait until after you come back from maternity leave?
Which is why, if things are going well, you want to tell. Because if you get hired, you’ve established trust. And if you don’t tell, and you get hired, you now go on the “not trustworthy list.”
In any economy a job in the hand (which you have) where you are established is worth something over a new job - a new job always carries risks. A new job in this economy where you aren’t to be trusted, they’ll lay you off anyway if you take it - way faster than they’ll not hire the pregnant lady - and then you wouldn’t have a job at all. If you take it having come clean, you’ll have established yourself as honest, cleared the air on an important issue, and if you get hired, already established a reputation as a straight shooter that sees a long term picture.
Many moons ago, I interviewed this really great editor and offered her the job. Right after the offer, she informed me that she was pregnant with twins, but would only take six weeks off. It would have been illegal for me to rescind the offer, but I resented it deeply because her due date was slap in the middle of our busiest time and the team couldn’t afford to be down one body. We had no choice but to accommodate her anyway. If she had told me during the interview process I probably wouldn’t have hired her simply because of the timing. However, she could have sued me for discrimination had I not (if she had disclosed the pregnancy during the interview).
You hold all the good cards here. I would try to get an idea if your maternity leave will fall right in the middle of some mission-critical crucial time (like launching a new project, or busy season, whatever that means to this industry). If it does, it would be sort of a dick move to take the position and then file for leave during the mission-critical time. Then it would be on you to turn down the offer citing the timing issue being a potential problem. That puts the onus on the hiring manager to decide if she or he can plan for accommodations and make the offer again.
“We’d like to offer you the position.”
“That’s great, but during the interview, I realized I will have to be taking maternity leave right in the middle of WidgetExtravaganza 2012. I will decline.”
“Oh we can accommodate your maternity leave and your absence won’t be a problem if you want the position, the offer is still open. Why don’t you think about it and get back to me tomorrow?”
That would be your best case scenario. So my suggestion is not not tell during the interview but try to determine if your planned leave will present a hardship to the manager. Then if you’re offered the position, you can decide if you want to put that manager in the hardship position, or if you’d rather wait until after your maternity leave at which point you can try again to apply for something else. Or, you can decide, screw that manager, I have a right, under ADA, to go for any job regardless of however much leave I’m taking. Let my absence be the boss’s problem.
The boss wasn’t exactly thrilled, but he couldn’t very well fire me. He was less thrilled when, 2 months after my daughter was born, I got a much better job and left.