Is it wrong of me to think less of someone because s/he...

In My Humble Opinion
1

Is it wrong of me to think less of someone because s/he believes in supernatural, paranormal, or just generally irrational phenomena?

'Cause I do.

This is kind of a weird question, but here’s my thinking. Basically I try to be best person that I can be, but if I find out that Person X, who I normally had had a reasonable regard for, believes in the existence of ghosts I immediately lose respect in some way for that person. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends or that I wouldn’t treat that person with respect, but essentially they “go down a couple steps in my book”. But I wonder whether this is really a good attitude, whether I should try to change this in myself.

For example:

If I know someone, but one day find out that they are black, I would not (and think it would be wrong to) think less of them because of their race/ethnicity.

If I know someone, but one day find out that they are homosexual, I would not (and think it would be wrong to) think less of them because of their sexual orientation.

However if I know someone, but one day find out that they believe in psychic powers, I do instantly think less of them.

I think I’m having a little crisis of conscience here because I have some sense that this may be wrong of me. It kind of goes against what I guess are my principles of treating all people equally and respecting others’ beliefs. I feel it gets particularly sticky when it comes to religion, since I have a certain desire to respect the personal beliefs of others, yet I can’t help but think less of someone when I find out that they believe in angels, omniscient and omnipotent gods, and all that jazz.
I fear this may all be a bit too abstract; admittedly I am talking about some abstract concepts of right and wrong WRT behavior and attitude. I’d appreciate opinions, advice, or experiences of others here.

2

I do the same thing too, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. It’s a flashing red sign that they lack common sense…

Like for example, recently someone I got reacquainted with someone I knew in high school. But when I found out they are way into astrology and started talking about our moons crossing or some such nonsense, I was like… “woah…OK…” :dubious:

I would likewise feel the same about someone who is a Scientoligist and believed in the whole Xenu alien story.

3

Personally, I think it’s a bad attitude to have. Simply because it assumes that you are always right in your beliefs.

I don’t think less of anyone who has different beliefs to me, because they may just be right.

I thought I was wrong once… :smiley:

4

Actually, one of the big negatives about the guy that I just stopped seeing is that he TOTALLY believes in conspiracy theories.

It’s kind of frightening, really.

5

We all have irrational prejudices. I have a dear friend who once mentioned in my hearing that she absolutely adored a certain book that I absolutely despise. I have to be completely honest and confess that my regard for her was tainted just a teeny-tiny bit with comtempt after she said that. She’s still a good friend and I respect her as much as I ever did… but there it is. Of course, this stems from the fact that I am a pretentious literature student. :slight_smile: That doesn’t make it right, but we’re none of us perfect.

6

I think “looking down at them” is a bit strong. For me, it’s just a mild disappointment, taking into consideration everything else about them.

It’s kinda like when I meet someone I really like and seem to have a lot in common with and things are going great and then I find out they’re a HUGE country music fan. :frowning:

I don’t think less of them. Just a little disappointed we didn’t have everything in common.

Of course if you start getting the feeling they’re hearing voices in their head and you have this vague suspicion you wouldn’t be safe spending the night in the same house with them, you should probably go with your gut.

7

I think it depends on what opportunities for contrary learning the person has had. I had an open mind about some things I don’t now when I was younger and even a little after college. I read and learned and refined my worldview. If a person is raised in a way that encourages those types of beliefs, they need to given some time to grow out of them. OTOH, someone in college from an affluent background that becomes a devoted believer in crystal gazing/communism/illuminati etc. may need to welcomed inducted into the club right away. This extends to other cultures as well. I wouldn’t hold it against someone raised on an Indian reservation if they believed in spirits in the trees.

In short, I think the shunning should only apply to people who had the opportunity to learn better and it just didn’t take or, even worse, someone who grow up in a nice normal environment and manages to just fuck it up on their own.

Also, we need rankings for this stuff from worst to better:

  1. Extreme conspiracy theorists (e.g., 4 planes took off. 3 hit buildings. Another was teleported and replaced with a government missile).
  2. Religious fundamentalists
  3. Professional Quacks (e.g. Chiropractors that reject the germ theory of disease).
  4. Rejectors of scientific theories with massive bodies of evidence (AIDS isn’t caused by NIV).
  5. Believers in the paranormal
  6. UFO believers (this one has some hope at least).
8

I don’t think it is “wrong” of you - you can’t really help how you feel. If you really, really don’t believe in something and have closed all doors to it, then that is it.

I think you are missing out, though. I don’t believe in a lot of paranormal bs, but I have had things happen to me that have led me to believe we can’t “prove” everything.

Most of my relatives are devoutly religious. I do not share their beliefs, and in all honesty think many of their beliefs are poisonious and harmful. I love them, though, and simply avoid religious discussions whenever possible. I will even go to church with my 96-year-old grandmother. If the roof doesn’t fall on my head, no one is hurt, and it makes a little old lady I love dearly very happy. Do I think less of her for her beliefs? No. I haven’t lived her life and her religion has brought her much comfort over the years. I haven’t been nearly that much comfort to her.

Just because you don’t share one set of beliefs with a person doesn’t mean you can’t respect them. If you let one part of a person detract from the rest, you are losing. Don’t try to agree or believe - just concentrate on the things you do have in common and do agree on.

9

[strawman]
Rephrasing your question: If you found out someone was an idiot, would it be wrong of you to think they were an idiot?
[/strawman]

Respecting strangers is a nice thing to do, but once they open their mouth, you can start judging away, based on what they say their favorite color is, what they eat for breakfast, and whether or not they think faerie creatures of the forest watch over us.

10

It is fine to think what you like, after all we all have our own predjudices for our own reasons. Judge away, but don’t try to force them to believe the same things you do. Don’t try to convince them that they can’t possibly have seen a ghost because jesus or science or xenu says they don’t exsist. They have their own reasons for believing what they do and there is nothing you can say that will make them think otherwise. Also, don’t get offended when they think less of you for being baptist or hindu or whatever. They will judge you for something the same way you are judging them and that is their right the same as it is yours.

11

I don’t think this is a very good comparison. One definitely does not choose their race/ethnicity, and almost definitely does not choose their sexual orientation, so that aspect of their lives does not necessarily have anything to do with their personalities, and you should not base your opinion of them on these factors. To a somewhat lesser extent, the same holds true of the religious tradition a person is born and raised in: there, too, they have no choice what religion they were born in, and however they were taught to worship God is again not necessarily indicative of their personality. (Of course, the way they decide to use or abuse their religious beliefs in their adult lives may be a factor you can use in your assessment of their character.)

But in most cases, whether or not a person believes in paranormal activity, psychics, UFOs, etc., is a personal, independent, adult choice, and thus is, to some degree, indicative of their personality. However you decide to use the information, my point is that I think it is more open to judgment, good or bad, than race, orientation, religion, etc.

12

Bah, it’s a free country. As long as it’s not interfering with another person’s rights in some way, feel free to dislike them for any damn reason you want. Disliking someone for being a gullible feeb is as noble a reason as any, in my opinion.

13

Well, you can’t help how you feel, though I agree with levdrakon that “looking down” on someone for having a different set of beliefs than you is a bit harsh. Disappointed that they don’t feel the same way as you? Sure.

On this board, you’ll be applauded for thinking less of a person for believing in that stuff. In real life, you are being a little bit harsh. Just because someone has a different set of beliefs than you doesn’t make them an idiot. The way I see it, it’s of no consequence to me if someone believes in that sort of thing. Unless, of course, they relentlessly try to convince me that “my aura is all screwy” or I have ghosts following me, or something.

If the person is cool otherwise, who cares? Just avoid discussing that topic.

14

I would imagine we all do this to a certain extent. We meet someone who we find we share many of the same beliefs, our opinion of them can’t help but go up. So it is natural that the opposite would be true.

One thing I would caution against is judging someone too soon. If you were to come to the racetrack with me when I had a horse running, and I knew you weren’t familar with horseracing, I would give you some do’s and don’ts for when we were in the paddock before the race. Some of the things would be for safety reasons, some would have to do with racing ettiquette, and some are just plain silly supestitions. I would tell you not mention going to the Winner’s Circle, not to tell the jockey you hope he wins, wishing him a safe trip is more appropriate. There is a long list of superstitions to observe at the track.

Now from that you might think less of me, how silly of me to believe that nonsense. But if you asked me about, I would tell you I don’t believe any of those things affect the outcome of the race. To me it is just observing tradition, observing racing’s own little pre-race rituals. Groups that are looked down on by the rest of society often develop very strong ties within the group. And having these shared rituals helps to bind the group together. Racetrack people are thought to be immoral by the anti-gambling folks, thought cruel by the PETA folks, and rather unsavory by many others. So it can be a rather closed group, you are either in the group or out of the group. And whether or not you follow the racing superstitions is an indicator of whether you are in or out.

So my telling you about the superstistions followed would just be my way of bringing you into the group. If you didn’t follow them, and said, “See you in the Winner’s Circle,” to the jockey, I wouldn’t want to scratch the horse thinking he was now jinxed. If the horses didn’t win, no one would think it was all your fault. If the racetrack folks thought you knew what was considered right and wrong, but chose to do the wrong things, you would just be seen as rude. Most likely they would think you just didn’t know and shrug it off.

But I think a lot of times, unless you really know the person, it is easy to jump to the conclusion about things you think they must believe because of things they have said or done. Most of the people who I respect, but would say they believe in ghosts or UFO’s, really aren’t nutcases who aren’t able to think critically and logically. Most of them had one very strange experience that no matter how they tried, they couldn’t find a rational, scientific explanation, so they find they are now open to other possibilities that they otherwise would never had considered. Since I didn’t have their experience, I don’t think I am in a position to judge them based on that. Now if the experience leads them to spend all their vacation time at Roswell, waiting to be contacted by aliens, then my opinion of them would go down, thinking they were just plain nuts.

15

For me I think it depends on what exactly they believe, the degree to which they believe it, and what they do to engage or further those beliefs. Believing in UFOs and extra-terrestrial life is fine – I hold no specific beliefs myself but try to keep an open mind. Running SETI@HOME? Sure, fine – at least it’s a marginally scientific if rather passive endeavour, but hey, if it ever finds something substantive then it was all worthwhile. If, however, you like to spend a few hours each night on your roof holding up a large bristol board that reads “TAKE ME WITH YOU” in both 144pt Impact and Wingdings without a hint of irony then, I’m afraid, you’re a nut.

Shagnasty’s Chart-o-Nuttiness looks pretty good, though I might be inclined to put Scientific Rejectors above, or at least on par with Professional Quacks, and above extreme conspiracy theorists. Anyone who seriously believes in wacky mystic crap to the exclusion of all else and in spite of mountains of factual, conclusive, bald-faced evidence to the contrary needs to have their (brain) pan gasket checked. Extreme conspiracy theorists, while still in need of a giant dose of Haliperidol, can at least be excused for getting lost in their own giant web of interconnected theoretical flotsam to the point where they forgot what they were after in the first place and just start winging it.

16

My one sole, day-to-day cow-orker fits the first two categories to a “t”. She’s also racist and probably homophobic. I’ll have to check her out on the other four, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she fit most of those, although she’s not a chiropractor or other professional so I guess that technically she can’t qualify for that category. Too bad because she might have had the perfecta.

17

I believe you have every right to think less of somebody for any dang reason you want to. It’s a free country, and everybody’s entitled to an opinion. Don’t like astrologists? Okay. Redheads? Fine. Homosexuals? Sure.

Acting on that opinion, however, is a different matter entirely. I have friends with religious beliefs that I cannot accept. I have friends who feel they have the right to discuss every personal detail of their physical health with me. Another friend is undergoing gender reassignment and I am really not comfortable with that. For me to bitch-slap any of these people, physically or verbally, while still trying to remain friends with them, that’s crossing a certain line. I don’t think it’s wrong of me to think these things, but to allow them to affect my friendship with them? Not so good.

18

Three keys to me:

  • Is their belief passive or active? In other words, do they have a bias that they can’t really explain and haven’t delved into or are they really, really into it? Having a friend with a guilty pleasure for reading the Astrology section in a newspaper or magazine is VERY different than someone who won’t sneeze without doing a “chart.” I think we all have biases that we suspect wouldn’t stand up to scrutiny, but can’t be bothered to nail them down…

  • Do they proselytize? If someone has a thing for the supernatural but more or less keeps it to themselves, more power to them.

  • Do they claim expert knowledge? I am a semi-pro musician and have invested a TON of time in music. So when some dork tries to label themselves a peer in terms of musical knowledge and then wax rhapsodic about Kenny G, my blood boils and I get dismissive pretty fast. This is related to the Passive vs. Active point, but I suppose more related to culture and tastes vs. spirituality and beliefs.

So, I guess my point is: Do they seem like a reasonable person and you happen to have gotten insight into one of their idiosyncracies or are they a twit/tinfoil-hat-wearer trying to impose their beliefs on you in some fashion?

If the former - be happy and enjoy the diversity

If the latter - snark away

My $.02

19

I do the same, only with people with watch “Friends” “Will & Grace” or any other mindless network sitcom.

20

Ah - perfect example! When it was on, I did watch Friends and enjoyed it - sorry!

The key there, to me, is that:

  • my interest in the show was “passive” - it was a guilty pleasure; I knew it was a Big Mac 'n Fries of a show and I was in the mood for junk food. I did not attempt to equate it - either in my mind or in discussions - with truly quality TV.

  • I sure as hell didn’t proselytize about it - if someone asked, I would acknowledge I watched it and would / could explain why, but I wouldn’t try to force it on anyone or argue for its essential quality…

  • I didn’t try to geek out and explain in some sort of scholarly, meta way why Friends was really a great show if you break it down…I just liked it as a trifle, plain and simple…

So, in that case, Wee Bairn - do I get the dismissive brush-off? :stuck_out_tongue: