I have abelist privilege. When the disabled talk about wanting equal accommodations, I have to fight the kneejerk thought that they are only trying to play on everyone’s pity so they can get extra stuff (like spacious restroom stalls and fast passes at Disney World).
I have thin privilege. When I hear the words “fat shaming”, I inwardly groan and think to myself, “Anyone who drinks a Big Gulp for breakfast SHOULD be ashamed.” I know this is wrong, but I still think it.
In some contexts, I have female privilege. I don’t feel pressure by society to repress my emotions or act more aggressive than I am naturally inclined. No one has ever called me a “loser” for not having a lot of money or driving a fancy car. I never have to worry about someone accusing me of being a pedophile or a rapist. So when I hear guys complaining about these things, my tendency is to say “SHUT UP, YOU WHINY CRYBABY.”
I have class privilege. The public transit system wants to raise the fare by fifty cents? Sounds good to me! The city wants to increase my water bill by 10% to deal with stormwater system upgrades? I’m a fan since I care about pollution issues. The grocery store in my neighborhood refuses to kowtow to demands to accept WIC and foodstamps? Doesn’t upset me none. So when I hear poor people complaining about these things, I want to tell them to sit their broke-asses down somewhere and STFU so we can get out of the city council meeting sometime before midnight. Their issues rarely emotionally connect with me, so I automatically think they’re stupid (until I actually listen to what’s being said).
However, I am also not privileged in some aspects. I know that if I were to start complaining about my experiences as a black person to an audience that resembles the general population, I am much more likely to hear in response something like “You’ve got a big chip on your shoulder” or “You’re a big fat liar” than “Your feelings are completely understandable, and it’s messed up that you deal with that shit.” As a non-Christian, I am expected to put up with a lot more bullshit from believers–however well-intentioned they may be–than I ever had to deal with when I was a Christian. My feelings get dinged sometimes in the context of gender (“You throw like a girl”, “Your hormones are making you shrill and hysterical”, “You’re a bitch for not appreciating my sexual advances”, “You’re intelligence is intimidating”, “You’re invisible to me because you’re not hawt enough.”) And I don’t have the most conventional lifestyle, so I am conditioned to take the backseat when folks in the room are talking about their personal lives. Because I know that their reflex will be to roll their eyes if I should deign to elevate my cat’s funny antics to the same level as their child’s. And I suspect many of them don’t care all that much about how “family-friendly” work policies affect people like me. When you are in the majority, you can afford not to care.
To me, that’s what “privilege” boils too. You’re privileged if you don’t have to care about something because it doesn’t affect you…even though it affects other people who just happen to be the minority in the general population. Being privileged robs you of empathy and makes you kind of an uncaring jerk–at least in your internal thought processes. However, you can be a 100% great person–totally non-racist and a friend to everyone–and still enjoy a shitload of privilege.
I really don’t know why this is so hard for people to understand.