My sister’s then-boyfriend told me about a conversation he had at a party with a woman who told him, “I have 27 piercings.”
Let’s see, ears x 3 x 2, nose stud, eyebrow ring…“I’m going to talk to some other people.”
Women who only want to talk about what a jerk their ex-husband is are the ultimate in boring. Pre-COVID, I went to a meetup with a woman who, if she was left to her own devices, would only talk about her abusive ex, whom she fled in the middle of the night with the clothes on her back and two small children in 1972! One evening, she started talking about him, and I interrupted her and said, “You’ve told that story before; I don’t need to hear it again.” A few minutes later, she gathered up her things and left, and not only to my relief either.
This was a woman who had been fired from multiple jobs because this created a hostile work environment, she had been asked to leave several churches and not because she was divorced, and she had even been kicked out of a battered women’s support group because the other members found her too upsetting to be around.
Want to discuss this? Get together and do it on your own time. Yeah, yeah, I know I might be a member of that club someday, but IMNSHO, even other women who are usually don’t want to hear it either.
You should go to particle physicists’ parties. I used to, back when my husband worked at the lab at UCSC. I couldn’t follow any conversation at all. Especially the jokes!
If I see someone with a tattoo, I might ask them about it, but just as an ice-breaker.
It’s like asking someone where they’re from or whatever; it often doesn’t go anywhere, but you just establish that you’re taking an interest in the other person, demonstrate you’re able to speak and listen, and then you can move on to more interesting topics.
Yes, demonstrate that you can speak and listen. If the other person were to talk for a very long time about their tattoos, not noticing that I am not actually that interested in the stories, then they have shown that they fail at one part of the conversation equation. I then know not to engage on bigger topics as it could be a frustrating experience of waiting to get a word in edgeways.
I’m very much into philosophy and pop sci, but such areas often don’t work well in a party context.
People often don’t know as much about the topic, or hold what I would consider misconceptions, and it can be difficult to explain things without talking too long or making the other person lose face. (of course the other person might feel that I am the one who has misconceptions, but regardless the situation is the same).
And at least a third of the time the other person will be so excited that you brought up the topic as it relates to their new age philosophy or religion:
A: Have you heard of the Fermi Paradox?
B: Oh yes! It’s not really a paradox though – it’s pretty clear that the Egyptians and Sumatrans were visited, and I saw a study that suggested we might have alien DNA.
A: Err…Soo…how about them Knicks?
I just heard something even more boring in work. Talking with some friends, tattoo talk returns and then multiple people starting talking about tattoos their friends had, tattoos they barely remember but know their friends have them.