Is monogamy a myth?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I was simply pointing out that the generalization wasn’t neccessarily true, that’s all. I never said I was “wow” or “hip”…

Also, I DO NOT SWING. There is a HUGE difference between swinging and having a polyamorous relationship. When I have a boyfriend, it’s a serious relationship. Like for years.

22

Monogamy isn’t a myth. You’re just dateing the wrong people. My boyfriend would never cheat on me, and I would never cheat on him. (Okay, I kissed that ONE guy, but we had split up so it wasn’t cheating. We got back togetther after a week)

23

Form alt.polyamory F.A.Q.
"What’s polyamory, then?

 (Glad you asked that. ;-) ) Polyamory means "loving more than
 one".  This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any
 combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of
 the individuals involved, but you needn't wear yourself out
 trying to figure out ways to fit fondness for apple pie, or
 filial piety, or a passion for the Saint Paul Saints baseball
 club into it. "Polyamorous" is also used as a descriptive term by
 people who are open to more than one relationship even if they
 are not currently involved in more than one. (Heck, some are
 involved in less than one.)  Some people think the definition is
 a bit loose, but it's got to be fairly roomy to fit the wide
 range of poly arrangements out there."

:smack: I get it now. I think. Are you talking about having multiple commited relationships or a single ‘truly’ commited relationship with other non-committed but still loving relationships? And if so then aren’t you still talking about a commitment to at least one? Or do I just not get it?

Does anyone else get this?

24

Well my husband is and always will be the most important person in my life (well, that doesn’t count my son) and will always trump anything else.

I’ve dated maybe two guys that were fairly “casual” in that while I really liked them, I wasn’t in love with them.

Then I’ve also dated a couple of guys who I truly did love, and they loved me. One lasted 4 years, the other a year and a half. Then there is a guy I dated in high school who I also love, and who I have had a few “romantic encounters” with since I was married, but haven’t officially dated. It’s sort of like “very good friends who love each other and used to be an item, who occassionally revisit those times” though it’s only happened a couple of times.

Does that make sense? And I’ve never dated more than one guy at a time (one guy in addition to my husband).

When I’m dating a guy, it feels pretty much like any relationship, except that I go home to my husband rather than alone. I’ve never had a feel like he was a third wheel, or less important, or whatever.

If you are curious or have any other questions feel free to ask, I don’t mind.

25

More than 50 percent of all married women, at some point, cheat on their mates, according to psychologist Bonnie Eaker Weil. Weil also reports that approximately 70 percent of husbands cheat.

26

It’s obvious that monogamy can and does exist in real life.

We sometimes elevate monogamy to a mythical status that it doesn’t necessarily deserve. As some posters have demonstrated, it’s certainly not the only option, nor even the most preferred option for everyone.

27

It does. Thanks for helping a brother out.

28

No offense meant, but before I accept these stats they’ll need to come from someone who’s NOT hawking her latest book on adultery.

I see though that she has been a guest on such well known think-tanks as The Rikki Lake Show, Sally, A Current Affair, and Maury Povich…

29

Not stellar statistics from my perspective.

30

Note that the above is from the 1948-1953 study. Society changed a lot shortly after that, taking a more open view of sex, and has more recently, post HIV/HSV, taken on a more restricted view. Highlighting and underlining is mine.