In reference to this column:
METI:
I’m surprised Cecil didn’t mention “Earth’s Greatest Hits” – the recording attached to the Voyager 1 and 2 spacecraft and fired off into space in 1977. Here’s what was on the record:
Somewhere someday somebody is gonna be dancing to Chuck Berry and Louis Armstrong and that still tickles me all these years later.The chance of those spacecraft ever being found by aliens and them playing the records is somewhere between none and zero. Seriously. Those records, as well as the “messages” on Pioneer 10 & 11, were aimed at people on Earth.
However, Cecil does make a good point. If we ever want to repel some aliens, that is, keep them away from Earth (and there are people who think we should do this), playing the Pina Colada song at them would be an excellent first step. We’ll follow it up with reruns of Gilligan’s Island.
All our TV content is booming out into space, correct? So they’re getting everything we’ve been broadcasting roughly since God was in the third grade.
So this includes The Bachelor, Dancing With the Stars, The Apprentice, Jersey Shore, Here Comes Honey Booboo …
… everything on this list 50 Worst TV Shows in Modern History, According to Critics
Clutch Cargo.
Supertrain
Manimal
The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vault
The Star Wars Holiday Special
And that’s just the ones I can think of off the top of my pointy little head.
I would guess that somewhere in the universe is a sign that says “FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY … DO NOT GO PAST THIS POINT. THE MANAGEMENT ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR EXPOSURE TO STUPIDITY.”
I blame Maury myself.
According to highly classified SETI reports, the aliens were tolerant of all Earth’s broadcasts, until they received a string of movies starring Pauly Shore.
They’re now approaching Earth at light speed on a joint intergalactic mission to sterilize our planet of all carbon-based lifeforms. I feel bad for my cat, but otherwise applaud their effort.
God, I hope they don’t get ahold of YouTube, how embarrassing!
WORLDSTAR!!!
Skinimax
Headbanger’s Ball
Tentacle porn:dubious:
They will kills us for sure.
I just hope it’s quick.
Those poor people!
