Dismissed for asking a co worker out? wow! did these co worker reported them after being asked out?
Remember how Woody Hayes used to say that there were only three things that could happen with a forward pass and two of them were bad? Same thing here. The minute you open your yap, you’re in a lose-lose situation. She might think you’re hitting on her. She might feel insulted if she disagrees. Like if she hates her haircut and you say “nice hair” she might get quite pissy. She might be offended by the idea of a man noticing how she looks. The best thing to say to any woman about her appearance is nothing.
That is straight up paranoia right there.
Let’s just say a woman was offended that a man dare compliment her on her hair (Not that this would happen with in the realm of reality). What do you think is the worse that could happen? Do you really think said woman could go to HR and said guy would be subsequently fired?
I’d assume so.
Most women wouldn’t go that far but I can see it straining a professional relationship. I think any comments on hair, grooming, and clothing are best left to those of the same gender.
If a guy tells a woman (or a man) “nice presentation” there is clearly no issue. The difference is that the woman’s appearance has nothing to do with his professional interaction with her (unless she is a model or actress or something like that.)
No one is going to get fired for doing this once. Keeping on doing it when told she doesn’t like it is another matter.
Unless she just dropped some papers and is kneeling down, picking them up. “Whoa, nice presentation!” takes on a whole new meaning.
Good to know. I’ve complimented several coworkers of the opposite/my preferred gender in the past, just because I was pretty convinced they’d appreciate it, trying to make their day a little better. And i t seemed to work as I thought I intended it to. I was under the misconception that I didn’t have any ulterior motives, but now I’ve been told what my real motives were, I guess I’d better confess to my wife right now.
It’s impossible for you to know for sure if he’s interested based solely on the exchange you described. Hence, it is even less than impossible for any Internet person on a message board to know if he’s interested.
I would suggest not fretting too much about potential awkwardness. As long as you leave room for an “out,” nothing should be too awkward at this stage. Leaving an out means:
- Not presenting it as a “date.” Just, “Hey, do you want to grab a coffee this afternoon?” Not, “How would you like to go out for dinner and a movie?” or, worse, “Would you like to come over to my house for dinner?”
- Invite him to a specific activity at a specific time. It’s much easier and less awkward to say “no” if the question is, “Do you want to grab a coffee this afternoon?” than if the question is, “Do you want to hang out sometime?” If you ask the latter question and the answer is flat-out “no,” that’s awkward. But if you ask the former question, he can always say, “Oh, I’d love to but I’m not free.” And then if he doesn’t bother trying to set up a different time to hang out, you’ll know he’s probably not interested. You move on, and you really haven’t lost face or anything like that.
I would also advise remembering, not only do you not know if HE’S interested, but you also don’t know how interested YOU are. Presumably you feel some attraction toward him. But there are lots of blank spaces in your conception of this person which, if you’re like everyone else who’s ever had a crush on someone, you’re probably filling in with only positive traits.
Finally, not to throw cold water over the whole thing, but in my personal experience it is a supremely bad idea to become romantically involved with anyone at work unless a) it’s a large enough organization that, at worst, you could arrange to almost never cross paths by getting transferred b) the other person is a temp or c) you’re prepared to leave the organization if need be. When workplace relationships don’t work out, things can become unbearably distracting, awkward, and complicated, and can basically ruin your work life.
Lol did you commented on these women looks ? or were your copliments more casual like hair cuts, clothing etc.I agree with the other person. I woudnt tell a guy that he looks handsome or good because I woudnt want him to get the wrong idea unless if I fancy the guy. I would say something like "that shirt looks great on you "or "your hair looks nice"Most of the time I don’t notice or care enough to say something.That’s just me though
Lol did you commented on these women looks ? or were your copliments more casual like hair cuts, clothing etc.I agree with the other person. I woudnt tell a guy that he looks handsome or good because I woudnt want him to get the wrong idea unless if I fancy the guy. I would say something like "that shirt looks great on you "or "your hair looks nice"Most of the time I don’t notice or care enough to say something if i have zero interest in the guy.That’s just me though
If “you look great today” qualifies, yes.
“Nice bottom line” :: eyebrow waggle
I’m saving that for the day before I retire.
It is not how you intend it, it is how it is received. There are certainly cases where it would be fine, but if some woman said something similar to me (not that that’s likely) I’d wonder what was going on. If she said it more than once I’d really wonder. Being male I wouldn’t do anything about it except raise my eyebrows.
While your motives might be pure, anyone who would want to hit on a woman at work would probably start exactly the same way.
IT’S A TRAP!!!:eek:
Yes, *asking *them out. Not, for *going *out. I suspect there was a complaint, rather than a coupling. Could be wrong, tho.
UPDATE for those who care for it
Well I started noticing that he wasn’t coming to work everyday for the last week or so.So I knew something was up in his personal life.
Well today he worked on the floor I regularly work on weekends. (its not his regular floor) his face lit up when saw me .He smiled at me and seemed excited to see me.Then later on during the shift he was talking to the dietry aide and few of my co workers.Then he went in his office. I then decided to go and get soup for the resident then one of these ladies said that he hd just told her that the reason why he hasn’t came to work was because his girlfriend has been sick so he has been staying at home taking care of her.He looked tired and stressed out.
I felt numb and disapointed now that I know that he is taken and nothing will come out it.Maybe I misinterpreted this whole thing because of my crush .Oh well to the next
Sorry to hear that. Been following your story. Remembering back to the time, I just want to say:
Crushes are great. Crushes are terrific! Crushes make the world seem like a wonderful and amazing place. It is. Yay you!
