Why do I love the Dope? This is why I love the Dope. 
[sub]Oh, the OP? Yeah, total liar.[/sub]
That’s what my husband said too. You’re both probably right. Am I obligated to try to tell her this, or what?
I’d ask her what she finds appealing about this guy. Maybe her answers will surprise you. . . or not. I know that I’m often surprised by things I read on The Dope, so I guess it could happen.
If she doesn’t have anything interesting to say, you might want to suggest safe sex. The rest is pretty much up to her. You might try asking questions about what she thinks of his story, but if she’s adamant, there’s not much I can think of that would convince her.
Live and learn, I guess.
Please do tell her. I had a friend who was believing some incredible BS that her boyfriend was handing her - including how he was an ex-NFL star. But things kept not adding up…
Finally I found a football card of the NFL guy he supposedly was - and, lo and behold,
… it weren’t him. Surprise!
Turns out she had some doubts, and my proof was enough to send him packing. Too bad he had already wrecked her credit.
Who are these people, and where do they come from, who make up such ridiculous stories. What goes on in their heads? I’m baffled when I hear stories like this (or TokyoPlayer’s). How do these folks maintain any kind of friendships?
They probably either have really dumb friends, or they only lie to the gullible people they’re screwing, or trying to screw.
There must be a couple of lakes or something.
:smack: :dubious:
Bolding mine. As much that I try to stay away from decisions made by adults, I will step in when someone might be stepping on a land mine.
OK, I need some cites to send her to prove that there’s no way he’s special ops in Afghanistan for 11 days. You know if she tries to ask him about it, he’s going to come back with some serious bullshit and I want to pre-empt it with some facts. Telling her Afghanistan is land-locked isn’t going to cut it.
My sister is seriously dating an active Green Beret at the moment, and if he wants to try to marry her, he’d better play nice with me. 
I can ask him about current procedures he can talk about if you’d like.
It’s gonna be hard for her to quiz him about anything, given his preemptive “I really can’t talk about it” excuse. If she believes his ridiculous lie, will she believe any facts that you present her? This will be an interesting one to figure out, especially because she’s going to give him the benefit of the doubt and then some.
If she probably won’t believe me, I shouldn’t bother to try to convince her. Her family already doesn’t approve of him because of his age, 3 kids, and the fact that he is a recent convert to Islam. If I jump on the bandwagon, she might get pissed. Sigh.
IIRC one of the simple things is to ask what his MOS is, if he “can’t tell you” , hes lying since the details of missions may be secret but there are no off the books “Secret Special ops” people, and if there were they are not talking at all.
Could you put that in layman’s terms please?
So he’s been to a terrorist training camp?
If memory serves, there’s a Doper Coastie or two.
Given what we know in 2007, I would hope that safe sex is a given, and not something that needs to be encouraged.
…
I may be hoping against hope, I know, but, nonetheless, I continue to hope.
Exactly. But, again, one hopes.
As for the OP: If you think that this dude will end up posing a real danger to your friend, and if you’re inclined to protect her to any degree that’s in your power to do so (as you obviously are), then you should, at the least, voice your concerns. Yeah, even if you don’t have hard proof–which you most likely will not–to back up your concerns.
As you know, people in luuurve can be…well, you know, so you’ll probably run the risk of damaging/losing, either temporarily or permanently, your friendship with this young lady, but in spite of this, the important question is, I think, can you live with yourself for having expressed your concerns or not having expressed your concerns?
Certainly not a position to envy.
And, as **Heffalump and Roo ** said, sometimes, despite our best intentions and efforts, folks just have to live and learn. Azoy geht az–so it goes.
One girlfriend of mine, T, who is usually pretty damn smart, dated a guy, “Dave” who was a perpetural liar. He was an avid bike rider and bragged to my friend about how he’d ridden in the Tour de France, something which made the rest of us go :dubious:. Anywho, a few months later a bunch of us took a couples trip to Gatlinburg (which is in the Great Smokey Mountains) and my husband asked him to go on a bike ride.
Dave returned shortly thereafter and told everyone he’d suffered an asthma attack and couldn’t complete the bike ride. My husband returned a few hours later, all sweaty and spent. When he saw Dave, he said, “You bailed on me!” Dave gave his asthma excuse and my husband laughed heartily. “Dude, you tell more stories than anyone I’ve ever met. Tour de France, my ass.” Dave shrugged and laughed. In any event, it was the first time it *ever * occurred to T that her boyfriend was making shit up.
So here’s my advice. Next time you talk to your friend, don’t come right out and accuse her boyfriend of being a liar. Instead, keep the conversation light and then interject with something like this, “And is he still claiming to go on “ultra-secret missions”? Do you think he tells his wife the same thing?”
And then leave it at that. Sometimes simply planting the seed of doubt is sometimes all they need. Because at some level, she’s got to have her suspicions already.
Great. Now you’ve blown our cover. Check your brake lines before you drive.
MOS stands for Military Occupational Speciality. 11B is infantry, for example. The mere fact that he told her he was in Afghanistan for 11 days is enough to set off bullshit alarms from here to China, but asking him his MOS would generate an interesting answer.
As drachillix noted, an MOS is not classified. You could be the nastiest special operator on the planet, but the Navy will call you a Bosun’s Mate or a Cook.
Tell us, has your pal responded to our remarks?
Did she clobber you for telling her, or merely accuse you of hating her, & trying to split her up “because you’re so jealous of our happiness”?
'Cause…that’s what usually happens.
Hey, what if the OP were to take the guy at his word and contact the USCG and tell them that he is breaking OpSec?
Rubystreak writes:
> He has 3 kids, the eldest of whom is 5 years younger than she is. He lives 4
> hours away from her now, and they see each other sporadically.
There’s a way to resolve this without this girl immediately confronting him about the lies about his supposedly secret missions immediately. First, she should ask him where this relationship is going. She should say, “Are we ever going to get married or even live together? I’m not asking you to marry me right now, or to get engaged, or even to move in with me immediately. But we should be spending more time together than you just occasionally dropping in on me and then disappearing for a long time. I want to visit you where you live for a week or so. I want to spend a few hours with your children. I want you to introduce me to your ex-wife. I want you to introduce me to the rest of your family. I want to meet some of your friends and your co-workers so we can socialize together.” If he gets bothered by her asking him to do even that, then she should be able to figure out that something is wrong.