I dated THEN MARRIED a pathological liar. The joke among my friends after we divorced was “How do you know when Tony is lying? His lips are moving!” His lies were juuuuust believable enough not to throw up immediate BS alarms, but they unraveled on him anyway. I couldn’t even begin to relay them all, but suffice to say if he told you it was raining outside, you had to look out and check for yourself. It’s amazing how some people are- he would lie about things he had absolutely no reason to lie about. It truly was a sickness. I hope your friend is able to see through what sounds to me like a bunch of crap and come out better for it.
I used to work for a pathological liar. He lied for no reason at all, not for sex or money. I guess he wanted the attention. He played bass for Jimi Hendrix, Vanilla Fudge, and Billy Joel. He spent a year on an island with Bob Guccione and twenty Penthouse pets. He had three different mutually contradictory military careers, all in Vietnam. It was ridiculous and kind of embarrassing.
Teach her some real basic pashto or dari words. Seriously basic, like hello, get out, get down, etc. Words that any CGs would have to know to do their job. Have her speak them to him to see what his reaction is.
Okay, wait a minute now, there is a chance the guy is telling the truth. If he was TACLET when he was in the Coast Guard, then he could be involved in some kind of covert operations. The U.S. and NATO used USCG tactical guys in Kosovo (I know this because I was there when my younger brother got his medal in the mail – I am not kidding you, they mailed him a medal three years after the fact!) And it is a for-real fact that some special-skill people are occasionally called back to consult or help manage certain high-priority operations. So if the mission involved smuggling books into or out of Afghanistan, then yes, it is entirely possible that he’s telling the truth. On that score, I’d say give him the benefit of the doubt.
But construction contractor? Are you kidding me? That is a bald-faced lie! Do you know the licensing requirements for those guys!? Give me a break!
That is a really good idea, and I’ll pass it on to her… if she ever speaks to me again.
Are we in the same unit? I’m going to Germany to assassinate Otto von Bismark and steal the Kaiser’s hat next week.
Again?
If he was off doing something sneaky beaky he’d be much more likely to tell your friend that he was seeing another woman/his wife and kids ANYTHING rather then telling her that he was on ops.so he’s full of shit and he’s insulting her intelligence by coming out with such a pathetic lie. .
Are you crazy, man?!
Ixnay ethay alktay aboutway ealingstay ethay athay!
Well I protest this war. That faschist fear monger Bush can’t send our ex-coast guard librarians to the 'Stan to hunt down Osama Bin Laden and retrieve the 33 cents he owes in overdue book fines. And for what? Oil. I don’t know how you fat cats with your gas guzzlers and your store bought books sleep at night.
On a pile of blood money, mostly-- it’s good for my back problems.
Have you tried calling her on the phone?
Call her. Sky write her. Telegram her. Snail Mail.
I don’t care.
I need some closure on this.
At least before I leave on my sekrit missun to save Princess Anastasia
I feel like I should leave it alone for now. She’s been getting a lot of shit from her parents about this guy because he’s 43 and Muslim and has kids and an ex-wife. They don’t even know about the special ops bullshit. She is probably lumping my concerns in with theirs, and they are very controlling/infantilizing. I’m going to give it some space and try to catch up with her in a little while. Maybe the whole thing will fall apart on its own.
As strongly as I might express my opinions here on the Dope, I don’t like trying to force them on unwilling listeners IRL, possibly alienating someone who didn’t ask for my advice and who might need me later. As someone in this thread so aptly and colorfully put it, this is her electric fence to piss on. Can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be.
Yeah, when it comes to things like this, you can’t help someone see the light if they don’t want to. Even if you kidnapped her and showed her every aspect of this moron’s life and pointed out the flaws in his stories, she would still want to ask him to be sure and he’d reel her in with more bullshit. It’s hard to watch, I know all too well but you can be there for her and bite back the ‘I told you so’.
Good luck!
Even if you come to her with absolute proof that he’s lying she will still believe everything he says.
I have a couple of friends like this and they’ll talk themselves into believing anything just so they can be in a relationship.
I gave up a long time ago but every time one of them restates on of the lies to me I just say, “Or so he says”.
FTR, I was suggesting you call her, not to force your opinion on her (as you’ve already made it clear how you feel), but to keep the lines of communication open. But you know her better than I do and I’m sure you’re the best person to handle it.
Well, he keeps buying new hats…
Good news. She e-mailed me back and said she’s not angry at me, and is thinking about what I’ve said. Not a whole lot, but at least she’s not completely closed to it. That’s all I can do for her unless she asks for more, right?
So you’re completely opposed to the skywriting suggestion, then?