[QUOTE=Mr. Nylock;17857423.]
It seems like it was just an offer; not particularly bad but not unbelievably great either - from this perspective, nothing in particular can be inferred about the young man’s character or decision making ability from rejecting this offer.
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I disagree; a LOT can be inferred about the young man’s character. He had a reasonable offer, and refused it–when he had no other options at all.
That’s just plain unacceptable. To me, it shows a level of immaturity, and inability to learn, that is scary. After 4 years of college, and 9 months of real-life experience in an internship leading to a good job, he has learned nothing.
This is the key. Trying to break into an industry is the hardest part of getting a good job. Once you’re already in, you can network, make contacts, learn skills and get experience, and so on. I spent a long time having no “in” with the industry I work in in my area, but once I got my foot in the door with just two days of extra work, I’ve done great.
True, I wouldn’t say it’s a spectacular offer like some are saying, but its much better than his other offer of nothing. I wouldn’t say he is unusual for someone his age though in terms of dopiness.
I’m not basing my posts on just the facts about this job offer. The main thing I’m basing my posts on is the lack of other job offers in the six months since then. This indicates that the $42,000 job was an out of the ordinary offer. I’m not arguing it was the best job in the world - but apparently it was the best job anyone has offered.
I’m not saying it’s the case of the OP’s nephew, but there are situations where it isn’t true. Some time ago, we had a very good intern. More than just good. Perfect. Workwise and personality-wise. Someone somewhere realized they should keep him, and they offered him a job. He declined. To this day, he’s still unemployed. And I fully understand and approve his decision.
First, the job offered wasn’t in his field of interest. But that’s not the issue. While he was there, they exploited him as much as they could. They lied to him. Made promises they didn’t upheld. When he decided to leave and search in urgency for another internship (mandatory to get his degree), they appeased him, made promises again, and of course lied to him again. Then he was stuck (because otherwise no degree), overworked, given tasks without any relevance with what he was supposed to do, told that what he had been promised could only be done “if and when possible” (and it never was possible, of course) which almost resulted in him not getting his degree on top of it (avoided only thanks to the intervention of my direct boss and to a very high level of understanding on the part of the university).
And when he finished his internship, as I said, someone, somewhere thought that in fact he was worth keeping after having fucked him in all possible ways for a year. Maybe if he had no support system he would have needed to take this job. But being able to stay at his parent’s place and working some odd jobs, like the OP’s nephew, there was no way he would have accepted. People have a right to a minimum of pride and to not bend over again after having been fucked hard. That’s costing him some months without a “real” job? A nice line on his resume? So what? He’s young, and ten years down the road this line will be 100% irrelevant. He’s an impressively great worker (when things go downhill after an intern is replaced by experienced employees, you know you missed an opportunity) and his next employers will probably notice it in time if they aren’t tools afflicted with the short term syndrome.
That said, obviously, it’s more likely that the OP’s nephew is actually a dope. But sometimes, staying in your parent’s basement rather than taking a good paying job is a perfectly understandable choice.
if you don’t have any other offers or reasonable prospects (a fair conclusion, given what this guy has done since) then passing up a firm offer is really silly. Most states are “at will,” the employer can let you go as easily as you can leave.
and besides, $42k/yr. goes a lot farther when you’re living at home.
Something can be understandable and still be “stupid”. I can understand why a person wouldn’t want to work an eight hour day, for instance. But that doesn’t make deciding to work just four hours a day just so you can fit in more “Judge Judy” a smart choice.
If my parents supported me all throughout college and graduate school and internships, and I declined to accept a job offer based on “principle”, I would expect my parents to be mighty pissed at me. I would only make that decision unless my parents agreed that my principles made sense, and they were fine with supporting me a while longer.
I’m all for parents providing housing for a young person who is preparing to launch on their own. But there comes a time when an adult should accept all the consequences of their decision-making and not use parents as shock-absorbers. Youth should feel free to make as many impetuous decisions as they want…but only on their own damn dime. Not Mommy and Daddy’s.
I’d have a lot more sympathy for the nephew if he were out there hustling and not still seeing himself as a kid. But the whining about the vacation indicates his sense of entitlement isn’t just directed at employment, but at everything.
Like I said upthread, I can agree with that. I’m in my 30’s so I wouldn’t think of turning down that offer if I had nothing else lined up. At 21 I wold have (and did - also like I said previously, I’m not an example of an intelligent way to live your life). But I also wouldn’t be looking at beach house vacation rentals any time soon on that salary either.
Some of the reactions to 42k in this thread are reactions that I wouldn’t have until that number hit 75k. This might be due partly to the region I live in also - for example, to rent a non-luxury 1 bedroom in an OK area the minimum income requirement is often $70,000. Meaning your application will be flat out denied if you do not make that income, no matter your credit score, savings etc.
If you want to buy a house within an hour commute that requires no repairs, you are realistically looking at $350,000 and up.
Me and the SO are planing on saving up so we can move somewhere cheaper and live like royalty.
so? it’d have been the dude’s first job out of university. If you expect to be able to spring for “beach house vacation rentals” immediately after getting your first job, I think you really need to reel in your expectations.
ok, so? That doesn’t mean every entry level job out of college has to pay at least $70k. Cripes, the expectations of some people are way out of whack. Why do people seem like they feel entitled to get exactly the job they want, at the salary they want, and immediately start spending it on expensive vacations?
Yes, nephew is a dolt and his father isn’t doing him any favors letting mother be the coddler-excuser in chief. It may be he has a self-destructive streak that he needs to deal with and the surface presentment of being “too good” for X job is just deceptive (and self-deceptive) nonsense.
I’d definitely tell him to shut the fuck up if he’s moaning about not having money. (I’ll also presume he didn’t pay for the education, and doesn’t have student loans to repay.)
His living at home would be a situation I’d have remedied toot suite a while ago. Sounds like belated tough love is in order.
“I can’t help but imagine that at board meetings at that company his name comes up and they laugh hysterically.”
Well, that might be fun to imagine, but I can’t fathom any executive gives the intern much thought, let alone board members.