If you think paying for the privilege to receive things you didn’t necessarily ask for is “right” then by all means forget I said anything. It’s not just Europe, BTW.
Like the way you and jz expect everyone to have a phone, and seem to agree that insisting on snail-mail notification is unreasonable to the point of absurdity, even though you both think expecting texting is unreasonable? Why is it reasonable to expect people to use last century’s communication tech but not basic 21st century tech, and especially why is it reasonable to expect a whole group of people who all use 21st century tech to put in extra effort for the person who insists on sticking to the 1900s?
Your (or at least the lone left out office person’s) idea of meeting halfway is that other people will put significant effort into remembering your unique preferences and take responsibility for summarizing the discussion and sending it to you by 1900s tech. That seems pretty rigid and definitely is not meeting half way. Why shouldn’t the last century person take on the responsibility of asking about group plans instead of guilt tripping people for not telling her? Why isn’t refusing to use a tool that’s been in common use for more than a decade the sign of ‘rigidity’?
Email makes my phone buzz and fills up the lock screen too. If I didn’t want a buzz and summary for either of them, I’d turn off or modify notifications. This isn’t exactly rocket surgery.
As much as this discussion has been about SMS (and this will stray off topic a bit), the money for carriers now comes from data. The issue isn’t relevant enough to stand against, because the market has already responded.
Back when the only way to do such mobile communication was through a cellular plan, you saw more reactions, but now? People have mostly moved on to smartphones and there are a number of competing options from data services (Instant Messaging), including iMessage/Hangouts/Google Voice/WhatsApp, etc. to many unlimited text plans rolled into existing pricing, spread across the networks, all cross-platform. See here.
I’m aware that there are a number of people who do still pay for SMS, but the number has long been on the decline, to the point where I’m now surprised if someone pays anything substantial. If they’re not on a smartphone with any major US carrier (or sub-carrier), they might be on a cheaper legacy plan, altogether.
I’ll take this, please, with a side dish of please, if you know I would be particularly interested in something, maybe make a little extra effort to check in on me. If someone knows me well enough to be aware of what I’m into, I hope they are also aware that I’m not too swift yet with text type stuff. No engraved invitation required or anything, just maybe a little extra consideration, as friends occasionally show to one another.
But I do want notifications for stuff that is important/time sensitive. So having to silence all incoming text messages would defeat the purpose.
Of course my iPhone lets me do this on a per-contact basis so if people’s communication preferences annoy me I can turn off notifications or block them when it gets really bad.
Still, it’s a good idea to realize that just like some people’s preference of no text messaging at all is far from universal, so is the opposite preference of SMSing with reckless abandon.
Totally sympathize with SeaDragonTattoo as I have a similar situation. Now I’m a bit younger (35), but more and more the by far preferred event setup is through Facebook Events, with some follow up with group texts (rarely). I have a friend who rarely checks Facebook and she has an older phone that doesn’t get MMS (which is what group texts get converted to). We’d like her to come to stuff, but we just completely forget that she either a) hasn’t seen the Facebook invite or b) can’t see the group text. It’s just something we just don’t think about because the new social paradigm involves those mediums.
So… to tie it back to the OP - lack of texting or some social media (I mean you don’t have to do everything that I like doing - Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc, but at least Facebook, I’d say) may indeed be a deal breaker.
You should be fine. You might occasionally miss a party you would have enjoyed, but mostly you will get everything important.
First off, I don’t *expect *anything of anyone, but to your first point, I think anything either of us is talking about requires a phone,no? If I gave the impression that I eschew phones . . .sorry, not what I’m saying at all.
Your (or at least the lone left out office person’s) idea of meeting halfway is that other people will put significant effort into remembering your unique preferences and take responsibility for summarizing the discussion and sending it to you by 1900s tech. That seems pretty rigid and definitely is not meeting half way. Why shouldn’t the last century person take on the responsibility of asking about group plans instead of guilt tripping people for not telling her? Why isn’t refusing to use a tool that’s been in common use for more than a decade the sign of ‘rigidity’?
Email makes my phone buzz and fills up the lock screen too. If I didn’t want a buzz and summary for either of them, I’d turn off or modify notifications. This isn’t exactly rocket surgery.
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Okayyyyyyy, well I cockd my last post up nicely (this is why I am not allowed to use technology, people!)
The gist is, Pantastic is misreading me. I don’t expect, I don’t guilt, and I don’t demand anything of anyone. This thread has morphed from my original topic, (which has been amply and thoughtfully addressed, so thanks all for that) to more of a topic on the mores of communication. In my group of friends(and they are all texters. I must give great bday presents or something because they all have kept me around) we do what works for us, everyone else does what works for them. We don’t gotta fight about it.
We generally don’t pay for incoming texts. Even the free government phones have free texting. I think I’ve seen some plans where you have to pay $5 for unlimited texting, but that’s about it.
(The government phones do make you “pay” for incoming images and outgoing emails, in the sense that they come out of your monthly allotted minutes, but texts are free.)
And back before we had free texts, you still only paid for texts you actually opened, just like you only pay if you answer the phone. And, to be honest, It think having both parties pay makes more sense–no more playing phone hockey where you call someone just to have them call you back so that the costs balance out.