Quelle surprise.
The question was “Does he have any legal obligation to help with the bills?” How is “You screwed up” a “dead on” answer to that question? It’s irrelevant.
I mean, what possible outcome did Omar hope to achieve? That she would understand she screwed up? It seems like she’s probably figured that out already, and if she hasn’t, his comment isn’t going to bring on an epiphany. So since it can’t possibly teach her anything, the only function of the comment seems to be to cause her pain. That’s not just being “not polite”, it’s being deliberately malicious. It’s taking pleasure in the thought of someone else being hurt.
Why does Omar not question the man’s judgment, though? Because no consequences attached to him? That does sound unfair.
Maria, you shoulda known Arnold would impregnate the maid.”
“Laci, you shoulda known Scott was going to murder you and your planned pregnancy and dispose of your body and the fetus in the sea.”
“Elizabeth, I know you’ve been ruh-heal busy battling cancer and all, but you shoulda taken the time to put surveillance on John in order to ensure he isn’t screwing his raunchy assistant and making a baby with her.”
“Mrs. Rader, you never should have had children with a sadistic serial killer who managed to elude the FBI for 30 years. C’mon, lady… you shoulda seen this coming.”
“Hillary, seriously? You stayed with Bill after you found out he was poking the help with cigars in the Oval? Clearly you didn’t think this marriage through or you aren’t terribly clever or a good judge of character.”
C’mon, ladies. Get over yourselves. You aren’t worthy of empathy, sympathy, post-scandal counsel or even respect, because ya shoulda known.
Did I get that right, Moral High-Grounders?
And because I apparently don’t fucking learn:
[quote]
Dio, you have daughters. If this happened to your daughter–she called you, crying, hysterical from the emergency room, totally emotionally, physically, and financially wiped out, is this what you would say to her?
If it isn’t, why the fuck do you think it’s ok to say to someone else’s daughter? What purpose does it serve other than to make her hurt even worse?
Let’s be reasonable here. John Edwards’ mistress is oooogly. Nobody could have seen that coming.
If your son made a series of bad choices and is now broke, would you help him out even a little? If not, then why don’t you help out everyone who’s down on their luck? Isn’t that what you would do for your son?
That is a stupid comparison in general, and it’s especially insulting that you apply that standard in a way to imply that it’s women who need special coddling.
No, she applied that standard because Dio has daughters, not sons.
True dat.
If my son got someone pregnant, one-night-stand or long-term-relationship, I would expect him to take responsibility for the financial burden created by the pregnancy. I would expect the same from my daughter.
Manda Jo’s position seems reasonable to me…her point appears to be, why inflict a hurtful opinion on someone who has progressed beyond the point where your so-called advice is no longer relevant? In fact, why inflict a hurtful opinion at all–it is possible to say to yourself, "Hmmm…this might be a situation in which someone is already learning a very hard lesson about life, and maybe a snarky comment won’t help the learning process.
No, the statement by the OP was, “it is quite an unfair situation, I am a bit bitter I suppose, how a man can just walk away free and clear.”
Any parent who knew prior to their daughter’s miscarriage - that she was impregnated by a deadbeat - should encourage / advise a trip to planned parenthood. If your hypothetical phone call was presented without parental foreknowledge, any mother or father would have the luxury of waiting a few months prior to giving the old 'roll around in shit & you’ll end up smelling like it speech.
Almost identical / frank advice could be given to a son - who calls one day ‘hysterical and distraught’ over the fact he got his girlfriend pregnant, she wants to carry to term and he’s on the hook for a couple decades of child support. All actions have consequences…take off your emotion tinged glasses, and you’ll see that.
Well, this conclusively proves Omar was being a douche. Thank you, Dio.
Omar, if all women followed your advice, you’d be a virgin forever.
Not a mod or an admin, that’s why I said “Please”. It was a request, not a demand. I wouldn’t usually use my nice words for someone like you.
This is the same guy who treats babysitters like indentured servants; wish I could find the thread. I vote douche.
I haven’t read the linked thread, but I wonder why no one in this thread is responding to this post. Seems to completely change the situation as presented by the OP.
How does it change anything?
It doesn’t.
As NRATB correctly points out, I said that because Dio has, IIRC, three daughters and no sons.
Where in there is she saying that she has no responsibility? She seems bitter over the fact that the responsibility is not shared. How is “Well, you screwed up” an answer to that?
I see that. I don’t see the point in rubbing the person’s nose in it. What the fuck is a lecture going to teach them that the event didn’t? When someone fucks up like that, you don’t have to lecture them. Life did it. The lecture only adds insult to injury and serves more to make the lecturer feel smug and satisfied than to actually teach anyone anything.
Now, if you know someone who gives evidence that they haven’t learned what seems to be an obvious lesson, lecture away. But there’s simply no evidence of that here.
ahem Look here, Manda OJ…
Well, apparently the op of the other thread was whinging about how the fickle hand of fate had treated her badly, and Omar reminded her that she had a hand in it as well.
If Sympathetic Figure starts a thread about how her puppy is sick and she can’t afford medicine and casually mentions that it’s too bad Hitler didn’t succeed, do you think it’s being jerkish to call her on the hitler love?
No, she was “whinging” (didn’t realize you were British) about the fact that she had to shoulder all the financial burden, though he was equally responsible. Why do you comment on shit you haven’t read?