As a white hetero female of multi ethnic decent - Ethnic pride always seemed a little silly to me. Sure, I can make a mean lasagna, but that’s about it. I’m also Dutch, German, Czech, Romania, and a little Romany (Gypsy) in the Romanian.
My husband is three completely unreleated things, meaning my daughter is decended from at least seven different ethnic groups - pretty darn American (and hubby is decended from John and John Q. Adams, making her a DAR candidate).
But, my son is a Korean adoptee. So we make an effort to share his culture of origin (boy, does that sound PC or what?) with him. This is two fold - one, we took him out of his culture, the least we can do is make sure he has some idea what it was. But most importantly (as Kunilou was getting at), people who look at him without us see an Asian person. Asian adoptees overwhelmingly talk about how they see themselves as white, but the world sees them as Asian, and how they in turn see themselves reflected back as Asian. This is, apparently, a very difficult thing to experience, but adult adoptees say its easier if they were given a good, healthy understanding of their heritage. This isn’t about “Being Korean is better than being White.” This is about “Being Korean is OK.”
So, my son will be able to walk in the St. Patrick’s day parade, proudly carrying his Dad’s Irish last name if he wants. But he will also, if he feel he wants, be able to participate in the Moon festival. As will my very White daughter who had her first birthday pictures taken in her hanbok as well.
And, Tuckerfan, as a “little tiny bit” Romany, I understand where your girlfriend was coming from. I don’t feel personally oppressed, but I’ve more keenly felt the oppression of others. Discussions of the Holocaust as a purely Jewish event are sure to set me off, for instance. Even your use of the word “supposedly” in describing her hints at something - you wouldn’t say she was “supposedly Swedish.” If she claimed she was Swedish, you’d buy it, you wouldn’t wonder if she was just Norweigian and lying about it.