This thread was not inspired by this recent thread, I promise.
I believe that thread was actually more about things that we are very knowledgeable about, very serious about, very possessive about and very expert at. I enjoyed all of the posts, and I wished I had some area of expertise that I could have contributed.
But I am wondering about the idea of snobbery. Is it regarded as a compliment by snobs? Sort of like ‘nerd’ has now become a compliment?"
I am the anti-snob. Seriously. I will gladly march with the unwashed proles, or break bread with the huddling masses. I have nothing at all about me that would even suggest to anyone that I am even capable of any snobbery.
But those out there that are considered snobs…do you actually see it as a positive?
To me, some of the things people see as snobbery isn’t quite. What I mean is, likiing good quality food and drink, and nice clothes that won’t wear out too soon doesn’t mean you look down on people who don’t share such tastes or can’t afford the same things. Snobbery, to my mind isn’t just liking good quallity things (and being able to afford them) it’s also a way of carrying one’s self. An air of superiority. See the familyAuntie Mame’snephewwas marrying into for an example. “Strictly top drawer!” They are the clotpole variation of snob. Auntie Mame herself is the Genteel Snob variation. She likes to live well, and knows what living well is.
Ah! So there is such a thing as the ‘genteel snob’. That alone means that you don’t think all snobbery is an insult. Sometimes snobbery really is a compliment then, if I understand you.
The continuation of Auntie Mame’s dinner party. Auntie Mame isn’t a biggot, and is willing to accept people how they are. She just knows what she likes, and that’s what she buys.
Yes, exactly. If the person isn’t stuck on themselves, and thinks of others, then it isn’t harmful. The kind of snobbery that can see only itself, and looks only inwards towards their own pleasure is harmful.
If you are passionately interested in something and become very discerning and knowledgeable about it, I think that’s a positive thing. This can mean you no longer enjoy lesser-quality examples as much as you used to, but that’s understandable, perhaps even inevitable. If this is what you mean by “snob,” then I’d consider it a compliment. (Though I’d still prefer the term “connaisseur”.)
But some people - not all - start to look down upon people who don’t understand the difference. That is not inevitable, and I think of that as a negative quality.
To me being a snob is not knowing more about something. It’s simply thinking that because you know more about something you are better than those that don’t. In today’s world of highly specialized knowledge, why should a rocket scientist look down on a brain surgeon? Equally so, why should a highly educated person look down on a person who didn’t have the opportunity for higher education?
Snobbery is when you think you are better simply because of mere circumstance. In the end, nobody is better than any better else.
However, if someone knows something, or can do something, that I can’t, I think a compliment is in order. That doesn’t make the person a snob, necessarily.
Yes. But I have noticed that people actually like being told that they think they are better than others.
My brother’s wife is like this. She is nothing special…not overly smart, pretty or well to do, (although she is not stupid, ugly or poor).
I notice that she actually outright says, “People may consider me conceited just because I won’t allow Theresa to where anything but top designer clothes…I tell them, you’re right. Nothing but the best.”
Now why doesn’t she deny being conceited when people call her that and just say, “why yes, I like my daughter to wear designer clothes, but I have no problem with people who don’t”?
Why does she seem to relish in being thought conceited? I think secretly she likes being thought a snob. She considers it a good thing.
That is the line, whether you don’t like the other person’s choice. If you say “I prefer Grey Poupon” then you may have refined taste, but when you say “How can you say you prefer Frenches’ Yellow Mustard?!” then you are being a snob. And a tedious bore. That’s the main thing about snobs, that they think liking more expensive things is interesting or new, when even the Romans had a saying de gustibus non est disputandum, “there is not to be discussion regarding tastes”
I’ve spent a large part of my life being called a snob, not because I think I’m better than other people, but because I was very shy and quiet. Oh, and I read a lot. Obviously, that meant I thought I was slicker than shit - not that I, you know, liked to read.
So, while I certainly don’t like being called a snob, I think it says more about the people saying it than it does about me: either they’re incredibly childish and judgemental or they’re just not good at dealing with people who have different interests than them.
I sometimes describe myself as a “shy snob”. I do not mix easily with people in general. Create an aggregation through some happenstance (e.g., “We all live on this block”, or “We are all related as part of the extended Smith family”, or “We are coworkers at the Jones Corporation”) of which I am technically a part and what often happens is that a majority of the people there start thinking “us”, but I’m standing off in the corner with my back against the wall, listening and watching “them”. I don’t necessarily dislike them but I don’t want to mingle until and unless I can feel understood and recognized at least to some minor extent. What I’m usually feeling is “Please do not assume I am like you folks, that I agree with you, that I share your priorities and values and beliefs. Don’t assume I want to be included. I might, or I might in a carefully restricted sense, and I might be interested in including you in some of what I am about, for that matter, but we don’t know any of that yet”.
When I say “snob” it has nothing to do with anything as meaningless as financial status, ancestry, reputation in some other, more important community, or adherence to some body of standards of Quality other than those I’ve fabricated on my own. So there’s a bit of a “define your terms” problem here, and if that’s what you think of when you say “snob”, then no I am not one.
But the standoffishness that people perceive, and on the basis of which they may think “snob”, is real.