My three year old gets corrected if he calls a person or thing stupid, but we’ve caught him muttering “stupid thing” when frustrated, and decided this is the appropriate use. It’s at least WAY better than the time when he was two. He was trying to peel a sticker off a toy and started muttering “dammit dammit”… lol.
Geez, the egg sandwich I was eating nearly got aerosolized through my sinuses when I read that. It didn’t help that I’d be tempted to reply in just that fashion.
I can get behind parents who “ban” their kids from saying “stupid” within their earshot, but chastising another adult is kind of weird, especially with the “S-word” phrasing. It’s not a “curse word,” but it can be rude, or mean, or just a lazy version of “I don’t like that/I don’t want to do that/my friends don’t like that and I’m rejecting it to fit in/I don’t understand that and am calling it stupid rather than admit I’m having trouble/etc.”
so, instead of teaching children right/wrong and respect, we continue to ban words - we also need to teach them how to respond when others use such words.
I was called, and called others stupid plenty of time -
I’m fairly sure that ‘idiot’ is a much more disparaging word - do they ban the iWord to? what about the iPhone? the iPad?
we are far too protective and mealy mouthed these days - learn/teach respect, the words will handle themselves.
This is exactly what’s happened in my household with my 4 and 6 year-olds.
My son recently told me that someone in earshot said a bad word. I asked him what it was and he said very quietly ‘stupid’
We’ve never told them it’s a ‘bad word’ per se, only that it’s mean to call somebody that and they aren’t allowed to do so. They know that shit and fuck are bad words as they’ve heard their parents occassionaly say them, but they haven’t quite worked out the nuances.
no Gonediddily-on it’s not cursing. it might be past your politeness limits and could be rephrased such as “You silly goose!”.
The word has meaning and purpose.
There are times when it appropriate, even when chastising your child or even an adult.
Come on y’all, where have we come to when ‘stupid’ is a curse word?
Should we replace it with ‘silly’?
Is the meaning the same?
I’m with Hamster King and MandaJo. I don’t like for my kids to say things or people are stupid. (The kids in question are currently nine and five. The nine year old gets more latitude in this area.) I think this is because “this is stupid” or “she is stupid” tends to come as a knee-jerk reaction to things that are different than what the kids would like or expect in a given situation. I’d like to instill in them the habit of thinking through why something would be a certain way, being more understanding, and formulating more articulate reactions to things/people they continue to disagree with after giving it some thought. “Stupid” is dismissive.
However, in general, I’m not all that picky about swearing and I don’t expect other adults to self-censor their word choice around my kids. Some topics should be out of bounds - kids don’t need to know the details of last night’s binge drinking/hook up/bar fight/whatever - but feel free to use any of the “s-words.”
I was at a friend’s and her two year old was attempting to dislodge her bear from a rather tight spot in the toy chest. Yanking and pulling with all her might, the little girl ended up flying backwards and landing flat on her back. It was at that moment, she yelled out, “GODDAMNIT!!!”
My friend was horrified, but I pointed out that she should at last be impressed that her daughter, barely two years old, was able to actually use the word in the proper context. heh
Parents that teach their children that stupid is a curse word are stupid. Sure, it’s rude to call a person stupid and at certain ages probably easier to tell them not to use it at all, but parents should also realize that kids of a certain age aren’t really going to be able to understand the subtleties in when it’s appropriate and when it’s not and that a blanket denial will have them wrongly putting it on the same level with harsher words that are worse more often. And then you end up in a situation where they start to realize some are okay sometimes and start saying much worse words in even more inappropriate situations. So, parents, stop being lazy.
As others have said, stupid is a word that some people find offensive, rude, mean or hurtful but other than the OP’s interpretation and the Peanuts strip, has anyone actually encountered the assertion that “stupid” is a curse word. The OP cited a mother wanting a euphamism used in front of the child (and jumped to the “curse word” interpretation unless there was more that happened that didn’t get transcribed here) but that doesn’t make the original word a curse word.
More generally I taught my sons that there was no such thing as a bad word if it communicated to the recipient what was intended. But, there are words that offend, hurt, etc. and therefore some words should be used carefully unless that is what you are trying to communicate (or unless you know the other person pretty well).
The one that got me was my wife hated “shut up” when “be quiet” to me could sound just as bad depending on the vocal inflection and context. We didn’t try to use the “S-U word” or the “B-Q word” - that would have been stupid.
Great. You’re one of those touchy-feely parents who believe that it’s important not to stifle their little darling’s free expression. :rolleyes:
We do things a little differently in the Hamster household. The smaller hamsters are expected to learn self-control, and not just blurt out whatever mean remark pops into their heads.
I said other for reasons similar to the above. As our kids get older, they can learn that calling someone stupid is mean versus if you say ‘shit’ it is a curse. However, it is a lot easier when they are little to just ban the words (or statements) outright until they reach an age when they will understand why they shouldn’t do so.
A good example is the word ‘whatever.’ It is banned from the house. Why? Because my daughter was starting to develop an attitude and not expressing herself by just saying ‘whatever’ all the time. Now she gets that it’s rude and belittleing and we don’t ban it, she just knows to only use it at lighthearted moments.
It’s not a bad word, it is a fine word. It was jsut triggering a misbehaviour that she was too young to understand the finer details of.
TL;DR Sometimes banning is what we do until they are old enough to understand.
My kids aren’t allowed to call each other stupid or use similar insults, and they are also not allowed to tell anyone (except maybe the dogs) to shut up. I don’t use those terms in that way either, although we may all say “that stupid thing fell on my toe!” When they get older, they may very well say, “that stupid thing fell on my fucking toe and it hurts like a bitch!” and get away with it.
Language is not the issue as much as being unkind/insulting.
(Now that I think about it, I don’t even say shut up to the dogs.)
This. It’s not a curse, but it wasn’t something I wanted my kids throwing around either. It’s an unpleasant and unnecessary thing to call someone.
Also, my kids were taught the difference between what you say among friends and what you say around adults. I expect them to keep it clean around us, but get that they’re going to be different around friends.
We’ve told our 4-year-old that “stupid” is not a nice word, and that it’s only for grownups. When he hears it, he’ll bring it to our attention. For example, in “Charlie Brown Christmas,” he is very disapproving of the fact that Lucy - NOT a grownup! - says “stupid.”
We’ll get into the nuances more as he gets older, of course, but for now I’m okay with this.
I would never DREAM of asking anyone else to not say “stupid” in his hearing, though! That’s just silly.
I don’t think I’ve ever specifically told my daughter not to use the word stupid, though I can see the reasoning behind some of you discouraging it being used to describe people. It’s definitely not a swearword.
When she was about 4, she and her friends were playing some sort of made-up competitive game (the type that makes no sense at all to any adults in the room) and one of them said ‘I’m first, you’re second, and he’s last.’ He then slapped his hand over his mouth and they all stared at me in horror. ‘Third! I mean third! Sorry!’
After that I noticed that they always used third to mean last, no matter how many people there were. Somehow, maybe at school, they’d picked up that it was a bad word.
I hear this from my kids’ friends some times. For example: my (7 year old) kid will say something along the lines of “I don’t like Teletubbies. They’re stupid.” It’s met with “Ooooohhh you said a baaaaad woooord” and all that.
I recently looked at a 6 year old and finally replied “But it is stupid.” Not my finest moment, but I finally just got fed up. I don’t like for my kids to say something “sucks” but I don’t tell them it’s a bad word.
Oh, and I must curse a LOT because my kids knew early on that “the S word” sure as shit didn’t mean “stupid”. Neither of them curse and are what I consider to be decent little people.
No. But I like the idea of discouraging its use among young kids. They’ll call everything stupid. Some friends of mine have made it the “S-word” to their 6 year old.
What a curious phenomenon!
This is relatively recent, isn’t it?
Honestly, my brother and I called each other ‘stupid’ all the time growing up.
But that was a few decades ago.
But I didn’t EVER use the words ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’ until I was pretty much grownup.