Is the "pursue your dreams" thing a little overblown?

Great Debates
1

I think that people (especially white people) tend to overemphasize the idea that you should “follow your dreams”. A few points.

1. The world does not have a market nearly large enough for all of the people who want to be writers, musicians, visual artists, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with writing, singing, or painting for fun, but there just aren’t enough buyers out there for most people who want to write, sing, or paint to make even a thousand dollars a year from what they do.

2. Wanting to make more money is a good thing, not a bad thing.

Some people diss business students or lawyers (or engineering students, etc) by saying that they “just want money”.

I have a news flash: money really does make the world go 'round. More money means fewer worries, less chance of financial catastrophe, and better quality of life.

Some people are going to throw out the straw man that money isn’t the key to happiness. Of course it isn’t, but neither is following your dreams. The world is full of wannabes actresses who are really unhappy. Sacrificing financial security so you can try to make it big as an artist very well may not make you happy.

The point is that, all other things being equal, more money is good. We should teach our children and tell our peers that making more money would be good for them.

3. A life spent producing art is not fundamentally good in some way.

Dali was an amazing man - if you doubt me, look at the paintings he produced before he turned eighteen - but there’s nothing fundamentally better about the life Dali lived than the life the average lawyer lives. If somebody goes their entire life without acting in a single play or writing a single novel, that’s not a bad thing. The middle-class values of making money, taking care of your kids, and making it into the next day securely are good values.

Now, some people really should become painters or writers. These are people who are both extraordinarily hard-working and extraordinarily talented (top fifth percent at least in both categories, probably higher). These people will still not make a ton of money, but if they work hard, they can make a decent living. But most people have neither the amazing talent or the extreme willingness to work hard that it takes to make it as an artist. What does that mean? It means that you shouldn’t kid yourself by moving to Hollywood and trying to become an actor/actress while working as a waiter.

I realize that this post is a bit over-the-top, but I really am getting tired of the idea that the life-well-lived is the life spent working at Tully’s while working on electronic music in your small apartment. There’s just more to life than failing as an artist.

2

Edit it down a lot, add more sardonic advice, and this would be a good idea for a SWPL entry.

3

I understand what you’re saying and I’ll take it as a compliment, but I mean for this to be taken a little more seriously than SWPL. The problem with SWPL is that it doesn’t serve as a good basis for genuine discussion, and that’s what I’m looking for. I really want to talk about the merits of the “follow your dreams” idea.

4

Well, I don’t see it as one or the other. Most people I know who play music or do other creative works also do more economically productive work. They balance the two. You could claim that you can’t make great art part-time but some of the music my friends have made is up there with anything a full professional does. They are pursuing their dreams but in a way that is sustainable.

5

The sentiment in “pursue your dreams” is to get people to pursue a job they like doing.

I don’t think it’s wrong for society to push people to at least pursue their dreams, with the understanding that if their pursuit fails that they should settle for some sort of cubical position where you have meetings and talk about meaningless data.

6

I think what is meant is that the pursuit of money shouldn’t be the sole focus of one’s life; as mentioned upthread, all these things you mention in the OP are okay as long as they are in balance with the rest of your life.

7

You assume that everyone’s dream is to make their living from something creative or artistic. While I grant that’s usually the context in which the advice is applied, it doesn’t necessarily have to be so. I guarantee you there’s a student out there somewhere who’s the child of an artist and an actor who just wants to get his Accounting degree and get a job as a CPA.

It also doesn’t necessarily have to be job-related. My dream might be to live in New York City or Japan or something instead of doggedly pursuing a career in Arizona where I grew up and went to school, even if it’s a career I enjoy.

Granted, if everyone followed their dreams we’d likely still have deficiencies in some very necessary sectors of society, but the impact wouldn’t nearly be as severe as the OP assumes.

8

I don’t know. This sounds suspiciously like sour grapes from someone who didn’t pursue their dreams, and now needs to cloak their regret in some kind of moral superiority.

First off, not everyone dreams of being an artist. In fact, I’d imagine that people who dream of being rich VASTLY outnumber people who dream of being artists. They don’t call owning a home, having a nice family and a steady job “the American dream” for no reason. Are you happy working in a cubicle and reaping the material rewards? More power to you!

Secondly, pursuing your dreams is not a desitnation, but a process. Our dreams change and evolve in our lives. You don’t necessarily have to pick one pie-in-the-sky ideal when you are young and spend the rest of your life on it. You just have to listen to yourself every day- are you doing what you want to be doing with your life? If not, why not?

Because the trick here is that we live in a rich and free country. So much of the time, the thing that keeps us from the life we want to live is not material circumstances- it is our own fear. It is our own unwillingness to take risks. And our own inability to see the wealth of opportunities before us. We are blessed because it really doesn’t take much to change our lives. Yet so many of us keep doing things we hate because we don’t have the guts to.

I agree that we ought to tone things down a bit. It’s quite a shock to learn that the “you can do anything if you put your mind to it” we learn from Disney cartoons is not quite true in the real world. But do we all have a right- maybe even an obligation- to search out fulfillment? Hell yeah.

9

I am twenty. I have all of the time in the world to have some sort of personal identity crisis and become a travel writer.

10

Well, when I was in my 20’s I pursued an artistic career. What differs me from many is that at a certain point I realize that it wasn’t working out and got a desk job which afford me a comfortable lifestyle AND the ability to remain creative on the side.

I could, of course, have another go at the art thing at any point I choose.

I pursued my dream, but I also had a fall back for if it wasn’t a roaring success. That’s really what needs to be impressed upon people. Take your chances, but know when to move on if necessary.

11

‘Pursuing your dreams’ is the most vicious of lies because it assumes that your dreams are to be a cog in the corporate machine entirely dependent on that machine to survive. You are only allowed to pursue your dreams providing they are authorised dreams. How about your dream of a home and children of your own beholden to nobody? How about the dream of belonging to somebody who loves you and accepts your love in that home? How about the dream of simply wearing anything you like, being friends and making love to anyone you like and respecting each other and being friends for it? No-no - wrong dreams.

12

Neither does the market for lawyers, engineers or business graduates ensure high earnings for those who go into those fields – again, for those who are great at it and willing to work hard, should be there; others, not so much.

The OP is arguing against a very constricted definition of what it means to “pursue your dreams”

The idea behind “pursuing your dream” should not refer just to artistic or non-mainstream interests, though it’s too often and unfairly limited so.
Pursuing the dream involves a notion that one should, to the extent that is it practically possible, at least give it a try at seeing if one has the right aptitude and the right attitude to get where you want.

“Pursuing your dream” can mean going for a Ph D in theoretical mathematics after college instead of going straight to a Wall St. firm to design financial derivatives; it can mean opening a GP/Family practice in a small town rather than a plastic surgery practice in Vegas; it can mean taking on the challenge of opening a new location of your hotel chain in a site that the crowds have not yet discovered; it can mean wanting to make your big bundle early enough that you can be there to be a part of your child growing up w/o sacrificing her to your career. And countless others. And of course it doesn’t have to be you rprimary occupation, you may be able to “pursue your dream” in your off-time. Humans can walk and chew gum at the same time.

Like even sven says, “you can be anything if you really want it” is a myth. But you can’t be it if you don’t even try – we don’t have a right to happiness, just to the pursuit of happiness. We fail? Learning experience, move on to something we CAN achieve. THAT is where some people have the problems, in not knowing what to do, what to fall back upon if the ideal is not working out.

Additionally, the idea that only a “creative” life is worthy? Who said that? Or rather, who said that only an artistic life is “creative”.

But Tim Berners-Lee’s work is creative. Captain Sulley of USAirways is creative. The team that comes up with a plan to reduce expenses by 10% without laying off more staff, are creative. They see situations, they come up with plans of action to deal with the situation using their skills and imaginations.

Yes, there is more to a “good life” than failing as an artist… just like there’s also more to a secure life life than being a mediocre middle manager. If you can make $90K being bored or you can make $65K having fun, it’s your choice to make and I’m not going to give you a hard time.

Making money IS not just good, but a GREAT thing to seek – but going into a rigorous professional career for the sole purpose of high earnings potential (or just secure earnings), with no idea of what in the world will you DO once you get there, is an iffy investment. It does NOT make you an inferior person, though. Just someone who’s* taking a different chance *than the other fellow.

13

“I never had an answer. I guess that’s why I’m working at Initech.”

Some of you sound like you have a pretty bizarre view of the world. It is up to each person to decide what their “dream” is and pursue it. Some people want to make millions as a lawyer or investment banker. Some people want to be an actor or an artist. Some people want to have a meaningful profession as an architect or engineer or web designer or whatever. Others just want focus on raising a family. And some just want to do two chicks at the same time.

The alternative is a pretty meaningless and joyless life toiling away at whatever job you can find (which you will probably hate) and floating through life with no passion or direction other than bitching about the world on the Internet. Which, sadly, is what a lot of people do.

I would agree with the OP that one should try to be realistic in their dreams and try to apply them to a career they find interesting. People who are serious about becomming actors, musicians or arts begin at a very early age and practice a shitload. People who are fuckups dabble in these things as hobbies and delude themselves that it will be their career as they avoid finding a real job.

14

I would say “It’s possible to build a life you want to live”, which is not quite as pithy, but more reasonable. We all have different things that make us happy: we all need different amounts of challenge, of downtime, of change, of creative expression, of security, of emotional interplay, of material comfort. Every lifestyle involves trade-offs between these things. The trick is to build a life where the trade-offs you accept are the ones you want and that leave you with your needs fulfilled.

Too often, people feel like there is only one model of life open to them and that model doesn’t fit their needs–it’s the expectation they’ve inherited from their parents or peer group or whatever and they can’t see that there is any other way to be. These are the ones that need to be told to “follow their dream”, because if they don’t learn to see the alternatives, they could be angry and resentful their whole life.

On the other hand, you need to find a life that meets all your needs, not a life that fits one need really well. Some people don’t need anything but a creative outlet. They don’t mind living on the knife-edge of poverty if it gets them that outlet. If so, that’s cool. But a frustrated artist who is paralyzed by their lack of security, or who is constantly missing creature comforts like clean clothes and adequate nutrition is no better off than the cubicle zombie who has the comforts but lacks the outlet. Both those people need to find a life that gives them all of what they need–which may involve hobbies and part-time work–again, trade-offs.

I guess my advice would be to Know Thyself, and build a life that suits who you are, not a life that suits what people expect of you, nor one that suits a romanticized version of yourself.

15

An artist friend of mine pursued his dream, doing art. It turned into a real grind for him. He was able to make an okay living, but started disliking what he used to love. Deadlines, rush orders, getting stiffed by suppliers, customers who wanted their sculptures changed at the last minute, etc. etc.

He’s still searching for a way to bring back his love for his art.

Me, I find my work intellectually fascinating, and challenging. But it’s not my dream. My work enables me to take nice vacations where my wife and I pursue our dreams.

YMMV

16

What Manda Jo said. I am a creative person, and I have pursued my dreams–luckily, with some success. But I regularly encounter people whose dreams are NOT artistic in nature–to save the environment, to teach, to give birth to and raise children, to go surfing as often as possible–and they are pursuing their own types of dreams quite well.

I think the truth of that phrase is in the emphasis: “PURSUE your dreams” is vague; “pursue YOUR dreams” is much more apt. Your dream is probably not my dream, nor is it Paris Hilton’s dream. (I hope.)

17

There is a saying that the best way to ruin a perfectly good hobby is to make it your job.

18

When people say “pursue your dreams,” what they should be saying is “pursue ***your ***dreams.” Too many people fall into the trap of pursuing other people’s dreams, and never even bother to find out what their own are. You are under no obligation to pursue your parents’ dreams, nor those of your friends or your school’s guidance counselor.

If you want to write the Great American Novel or paint a new Sistine Chapel ceiling, then follow that dream, so long as you’re realistic about your chance of success. And be prepared to work your ass off to get there, and also work your ass off to support yourself doing whatever other work you can do.

Both of my parents were artists. They knew that’s what they wanted to be, from a very early age, and they both had parents who taught them that they could be whatever they wanted to be, but any success would require a lot of work. They both worked full-time at jobs that utilized their talent (at a salary of $15/week during the Depression), and they created art evenings and weekends. Little by little they got their work in shows and their reputations grew. By the time they reached middle age they no longer had to work at anything but their art. They had many good years doing exactly what they always wanted to do, while their siblings retired into oblivion.

And wanting to be any kind of artist is no different than anything else. If your “dream” is to be a bartender, then that’s what you should be doing. But sitting at home dreaming, and not doing the work, won’t get you there. A very wise woman once told me, “The only thing sadder than someone who can’t dream is someone who can ***only ***dream.”

19

I agree with you completely. Living six hours from New York City, I have met dozens of people over the years (most in their 20s) who’s dream it is to move to the Big Apple. They have no idea what they want to do once they get down there, they just want to be there.

Most never go because the money disparity is too big, so they never have enough to make the “1st month’s rent” leap. But they talk about their “plans” to move to NYC all the damn time. It’s irritating.

Too many people have combined the idea of “their dreams” with the belief that they must be exciting, and not necessarilly something that makes you happy.

Then they try to tell me that I’m the one with the problem because my dream is a quiet house in the burbs with my family and a nice little nest egg (still working on that last part).

20

A girl that I work worth tells me that once she graduates she wants to go to New York for a year or so and just “hang out”. She’s a nice enough person but she obviously doesn’t plan ahead or think critically about her life decisions.