Post 10
NM..I’m cranky. I’ll shut up now.
If the “drop” is about half the size of the bucket, yes. A very large amount of food gets wasted.
I have never found Americans especially polite, or especially rude, as compared to people from anywhere else. There are minor cultural differences but a smart person sees through that.
I’ve been all over the USA and Southerners aren’t more or less polite.
I believe Babale grew up in Israel, a country known for its rudeness.
A coworker told me a joke. It’s relevant that he was born in the Ukraine when it was part of the Soviet Union, immigrated to Israel as a teen, and then to the US when he was in his 30s.
A Ukrainian, an American, and an Israeli were standing around. A Russian walked up and asked, “excuse me, is this the line for meat?”
The Ukrainian replied, “what’s ‘meat’?”
The American replied, “what’s a ‘line’?”
The Israeli replied, “what is ‘excuse me’?”
That reminds me of Ray Romano’s comedy bit where he is talking to a child friend dinner guest about dining with his Italian mother.
“If you want a little bit more, tell her you are full. Bam! A little more food on your plate.
If you want a lot more, tell mom you want a little bit more. Got to stay one step ahead.
And if you don’t want any more food, you’re going to have to pull out a gun. I said “no more food, Ms. Romano. Put the cannoli down nice and slow, and back away…””
Canada is like most other places, more so if you consider most Torontois are immigrants or their children.
A small minority of Canadians are perpetually angry or looking to instigate something. Most Canadians are pretty laid back and slow to anger. You don’t want to anger a Canadian, generally.
I know tourists who assume Canada is very safe and who lost their wallets at touristy places by not taking proper precautions, because “Canadians are so nice”. Most Canadians are more polite than friendly, but most have genuinely good values. Even the police are likely to open with a deal… “you were doing 130, but I’m gonna say…”
I prefer the term ‘directness’. But in the spirit of being direct, I won’t complain if you go with ‘rude’.
I disagree - there is behavior we consider polite, and there is behavior we consider rude. The fact that the rules can differ from other cultures doesn’t mean the lines don’t exist.
And really, you could say that about everywhere.
That is definitely one thing that’s changed in the last 50-75 years. Used to be “Bless your heart” was an all purpose phrase that could mean anything from “I sincerely believe Jesus himself will escort you to Heaven when you die,” down to “You’re unfit to walk on this earth but the Bible says I’m supposed to be nice.” My oldest sister was a master of the proper tone and context to use it. Now days only the sarcastic meaning is used.
For the 1,204th time. That silly TV show made that an insult. When a Mother feels her child’s forehead to diagnose a fever, she will say, “Bless your little heart.”
Bless your heart!
The model that I think is helpful is high-context vs. low-context, and direct vs. indirect. High-context means that you share a lot of background with the people you’re communicating with, so slight differences in body language, intonation. or other factors ends up carrying a lot of meaning. Low-context means you lack a lot of that shared background, so the bulk of the meaning is carried in the explicit words used.
That said, the Wiki article claims that this model lacks empirical support, so maybe I shouldn’t use it.
In any case, rather than think about whether the South is mannered, it may be helpful to ask whether it’s traditionally been high-context and indirect, and whether it’s moving toward a more low-context, direct communication style.
For folks who think that direct is objectively better than indirect, consider conflict. Indirect communication styles can resolve (or at least smooth over) conflict while allowing all participants to save face. Direct communication styles tend to lead to winners and losers.
While I think I prefer direct communication, I also think that’s due to my relatively poor ability to pick up on nonverbal cues: I’m good with words, less so with implicit norms and body language. Folks more skillful at context are likely to prefer the high-context styles of communication.
Perfect use.
Thanks *Carni…
*Nickname
While y’all are here, relating to non Southern women not being liked called “Ma’am”. What is a polite way to address them North of the Mason-Dixon?
I don’t buy it. I can only speak of my own culture, but I can say that we too have a strong sense of shared background and many subtle forms of communications, and yet we still speak our minds - because we consider speaking our minds a positive virtue. Likewise, we’re informal (often painfully so) because we’re suspicious of people who don’t treat others as their social equals. It has nothing to with context, and everything to do with priorities.
As a female Yankee, i think “ma’am” and “sir” are okay for adults you won’t ever see again. But in general, if I’m trying to get the attention of the wait staff, i say, “excuse me” and wave my hand a little while trying to catch the person’s eye. And after they do their things, i say, “thank you” without any title or name.
Relatedly, when I’m at a big corporate meeting, it usually starts with something like, “thank you for coming to our quarterly meeting. Today we will talk about …” And the leader will say where the restrooms are and when we’ll have breaks, but never finds the need to say, “ladies and gentlemen”, or anything of that ilk.
“Hey LA–dy!”
- Jerry Lewis
A little levity 
I think I missed the other 1,203 times, so I don’t know what TV show you’re referencing. But whatever the origin, today, if you tell a Southerner “bless your heart”, they’re likely to complain, or possibly even to get violent.
“Golden Girls”.
Check out post 32.
I am curious where Southerners complain or become violent about ma’am.