My son walked two blocks to the park by himself when he was six or seven. After a few years of doing it supervised, that is.
Playing in the yard by himself was fine once he could walk reliably (though we do have a fairly small, fenced in yard), though the frequency of “checking in on him” was almost constant at first until he passed the toddler stage. But honestly, it’s not much different from letting him play in the other room unsupervised. A roof doesn’t magically make everything safe, and open sky doesn’t magically make everything dangerous. If you’ve got laundry to do, go do laundry! The kid will be okay for a few minutes or half an hour.
Now he’s ten (almost 11) and rides his bike all over our fairly small town. He goes to friends’ houses and plays at different parks. He occasionally goes to the convenience store to blow his money on Doritos and soda. We still make him stay on this side of the main highway through the town, but the residential streets are fair game. He comes home when the street lights come on. Sometimes he stays at home without a babysitter for a few hours when necessary, but we tell him not to let anybody in, even his friends (especially his friends!).
Yeah, similar to my experience in Chicago in the 60s. I have a memory of walking down the block to check out a new kid who moved in when I was in 1st grade. My parents set strict limits like - stay on our side of the block, don’t cross the alley. At some point in early grades, I could ride my bike anywhere without crossing a busy street (Belmont/Central/Austin/Diversey).
But if you don’t have fences or sidewalks, such rules might be more difficult.
You’ll have to give up some of the time for your chores to be able to check on her periodically you let her expand her freedom. That’s just part of the job of parenting. One day she’ll be older and totally out of your sight and you’ll relish the days when chores falling behind was the only thing you had to worry about.
Just want to say this sounds awesome. It’s what I was doing at her age (and for quite a few years after that), except I had toy farm animals, not dinosaurs. Now I’m an author.
I’d say five is fine, but she should stay in the back yard, and I’d look outside every once in a while. My backyard wasn’t fenced when I was that age, but with all the bushes on each side, you couldn’t see that I was there from the street. Also, FWIW, I walked to school at five, including crossing the street.
My 2.5 year old plays by himself in the yard with periodic checking in. My five year old plays on the block and the seven year old plays in the immediate neighborhood. Generally there is a small pack of them doing stuff on the block or crashing one of the houses (including my own). I have to find the two of them for bedtime most evenings. I live in an urban/suburban setting.
So, if your yard is fenced and is child-safe, I don’t see a problem, provided you check on her from time to time to see that she’s still moving. If your also worried about stranger danger, then confine her to the back yard.
If your yard is unfenced, then no, until your child is old enough and mature enough that you can trust her not to leave the property. You’ll know better than we will when she has reached that stage of development, but I doubt that she has got there at five years old.
Plus, if your yard is unfenced, then fence it. What’s the point of having a yard at all if children can’t go out to play in it?
I started staying home alone when I was seven. The one time I did something ridiculously dangerous, someone was supposed to be supervising me. This was in 1990. In retrospect my Mom probably could have gotten into a lot of trouble, but I was a pretty responsible kid, so I don’t think she was being neglectful.
I was allowed to roam our side of the street at 4. I couldn’t cross without an adult. The kid is five? The bus stop for Kindergarten was two blocks away and my parents both worked. In retrospect the sidewalk roaming wasn’t the best idea because riding your Big Wheel across driveways is asking for a squashing.
Thank you, guys, for taking the time for giving advice. It’s all helpful, even the personal anecdotes of when you were a kid yourself. Some of the posts brought back fond memories.
Ok, the whistle thing did not work out as well as I had anticipated. I put the lanyard over her neck and she reassured me that she understood the rules. So I went back inside to continue chores knowing that the whistle would be blown in short order. Within minutes I could see she had left the section of yard she promised to stay in. I went outside and found her sitting on the front stoop, whistle-less, and playing with her toys. I didn’t scold her, but instead simply asked why she disobeyed my rules and, by the by, where was the whistle? She said, “I’m bored. Where is [insert older sister’s name here]?” We will try again today.
Yeah, as far as the comments about how good the mom and older sister have it, that’s a tale as long in telling as the history of the one Ring. Don’t feel comfortable yet speaking about the present circumstances.
