At the synagogue I attended growing up, the bar or bat mitzvah was ideally scheduled for within a month after the child’s 13th birthday, so mine could have been scheduled for any Saturday from June 30 until July 28; my actual date was July 14. (My birthday is June 26, for those keeping score at home.) However, the synagogue was willing to be flexible to accommodate families with special requests. For example, the rabbis rotated Shabbat services, so if you wanted a particular rabbi, you’d have to wait for a date that he did services. The rabbi who was supposed to officiate at mine sent a very nice letter apologizing for being unable to officiate due to health issues, and died the Tuesday after my bat mitzvah. The rabbi who actually officiated had interned as a student rabbi at the synagogue my grandparents had helped to establish, so there was some family connection. A few other families wanted to wait until school was out, or to accommodate out-of-town family who needed time to get out to Los Angeles. But it had to be scheduled for sometime during that year, so if nothing worked before the kid turned 14, you were SOL.
Disclaimer: I know virtually nothing about Jewish practices and traditions. this is purely an anecdote of my experience.
I went to a bat mitzvah a couple of years ago in Atlanta. It was held in the winter because it gets darker earlier and the father explained to me that party couldn’t start until sundown.
Well the girls birthday is in June and the sun set does not set in Atlanta until about 8:45 in June and they didn’t want the party to start that late.
My birthday is in the beginning of November. (Feel free to update your calendars.)
According to at least one online calculator, my Hebrew birthday is also at the beginning of November for the year of my Bar Mitzvah.
My family chose to have it at the end of December, because it was easier for my relatives to travel. Something about the rest of the country shutting down for some other holiday.
Happy, there were no little zombies competing for the same date.
Cite?
And here:
In the Torah, no specific age is given; the age of 13 appears to rest on the Mishnah Pirkei Avot, Chapter 5:
Bricker, Thanks
That makes no sense at all. Every Reform or Conservative temple I have ever heard of has Adult B’nai Mitzvot for converts or people born Jewish who never had one for whatever reason. There is no reason why a 14 year old couldn’t have one. In fact my nephew had his at 14 just last year because he started his education too late to be ready in time. At a different shul in the 70’s, my stepsister had hers at 14 or 15 for the same reason.
You’re right, there is no religious reason why a 14-year-old can’t have a bar/bat mitzvah.
However, there are good logistical reasons why the synagogue had the 14-year limit, at least for “regular” ceremonies. There are only so many Sabbaths in the year, and leaving out the festivals and Lag b’Omer periods (the synagogue would have ceremonies all summer), that leaves 45-46 Saturdays per year to have them, and I think one or two more Saturdays were blocked off for other reasons. (ISTR that one of them was the adult b’nai mitzvah service.) As it was, some families were asked to double up and have two kids share the service. While the synagogue was willing to be flexible and play with the calendar to accommodate requests wherever possible, they could only be so flexible without screwing the next class. I’m sure that they could make allowances for kids who had valid reasons to postpone, such as for health reasons, but they couldn’t really do it just for the convenience of the family. (Keep in mind, too, that we had to schedule about a year or so in advance, so we could get our Torah and Haftorah portions and study.) Truthfully, it was really an issue with only one family anyway, although I can’t remember the reason why they wanted to wait.
It’s really like renting a wedding hall. If you get there early enough, you can have your pick of dates, but at some point, it becomes “take it or leave it,” and that’s what the synagogue had to do.
There is no requirement for a “party.”
My uncle was 41 when he was bar mitzvah. His son was 13 and he was called up for an aliyah (supposedly you read the Torah, but you can actually read transliterated versions of the prayers and a surrogate will do the actual reading). He found a package containing a fountain pen (a common–it was actually a cliche–gift from the 40s and 50s) on his seat when he returned.
My brother was bar mitzvah at 14 because he started studying too late.
My wife dated for a while a very orthodox Jew whose bar mitzvah consisted of going to shul on his 13th birthday (by the Hebrew calendar no doubt) which happened to fall on a Tuesday and unaccompanied by any feast.
The first rule of Jewish practices and traditions is: Two Jews, three traditions.
The completion of important religious acts concludes with a communal meal, a holdover from the practice of sharing an offering of thanksgiving with as many people as the offering could feed. Hence, the festive meal / party is almost a requirement.
In other words: We’re Jews. Dining is part of the job.