Well, it’s not really different. The only thing that makes it “nerd misogyny” is that it is coming from “nerds”.
And it’s not, actually, universal - the last two times the husband and I went to buy cars the salesmen were quite respectful of me and answered my technical questions thoughtfully, as if I were an intelligent human being (which, of course, I am). Not everyone is a bigot. Thank god.
Men tend to be more interested in objects than in people, whereas women tend to be the opposite (this is the standard psychological view - Susan Pinker discusses this extensively in her book The Sexual Paradox). My view is that misogyny can result from an extreme interest in objects (gadgets, computers, or what-have-you) at the expense of an interest in people and ability to understand them.
Many people from all walks of life are low on people skills. But nerds are very often low on people skills. I imagine that the sort of misogyny that is born of a general lack of people skills would be more common among nerds than among other groups of people.
I am only suggesting that this is one route by which misogyny could be born - there are many others, such as social conservatism, ego-assertiveness, or an obsession with masculine toughness.
If it’s genuine cluelessness (which is the case for most nerds), it’s not misogyny. You can keep calling it misogyny, but that doesn’t mean that’s what it is.
Those are fantasy women. Fantasies aren’t realistic, and maybe nerds are more comfortable with acknowledging that, but that doesn’t make them misogynists. You might as well complain that all the women on that list would be considered “hot” by any warm blooded male.
I’ve never ran into that at all, and quite frankly anyone with that kind of macho attitude would not be taken seriously any nerd I know (though I do know a few who do listen to NWA, Slayer, Hardcore punk or other “rebellious” music).
One thing that exacerbates the issue is the ratio of make to female nerds. Birds of a feather flock together, says the cliche, and it seems like there’s far more male nerds than female nerds. This makes it hard to find a mate, and thus could be a contributing factor to the misogyny.
You might say “Yeah, but what about guys who are sports fans? They seem to have no problems attracting women, even though relatively few women are sports-crazed.” Maybe, but I’ve found that the people who tend to be sports fans have that as a side interest. Sports fandom usually doesn’t dominate their life, or define them as people. With the nerds, more often than not nerdom is a lifestyle, something that is far more all-encompassing. Basically, the nerds tend not to be as well-rounded as the sports fans.
FWIW, I’ve found that the people who live, breathe, eat and sleep sports fanaticism are often seen by the general public as losers, much in the same way as those who are immersed into the nerd/geek lifestyle. Ever meet a hardcore baseball fan; not just someone who follows major league baseball or takes roadtrips to visits ballparks, but someone that’s into stat geekery? They’ll put the RPG/SF/fantasy/SCA/science/Linux geeks to shame.
I’m tired of general misunderstanding of the opposite sex being labelled as ‘mysogyny’ when men do it, but not characterized in such nasty terms when women do it.
If that way of thinking does exist, it’s not an exclusively male phenomenon. We had a whole thread get started because someone’s daughter thought Legolas in Lord of the Rings was dreamy.
Soon to be released at Amazon. Pro Football LARPing for Dummies
I have observed the “You can’t be good at/know about that, you’re a GIRL!” attitude more often from geek guys than other types of guys. This may be more because of where my own interests lie than because geek guys are worse than other guys in this way, I don’t know. But I can think of many times in high school and college when geek guys reacted that way to me or my female friends about our geeky interests (e.g. computer programming, roleplaying games, comic books). Worse still, we’ve been accused of not really liking the things we like. We must just be feigning interest to impress some guy. I’ve also seen geek guys complaining online about how there aren’t enough HOT girls who share their interests. :rolleyes:
It’s definitely been my impression that a fair number of geek guys see women as being not merely mysterious or even irrational but rather a bunch of idiots and liars. I wouldn’t say most geek guys are this way, but it’s not some tiny minority either.
There are lots and lots of people in high tech that I would classify as nerds, and there’s a small but not insignificant percentage that lack people skills. But I would contend that in this day and age the percentage isn’t all that different from the rest of the working world. It really depends on how you classify people as nerds. What is the defining characteristic?
It seems to me that you’re using he lack of people skills as a way of identifying nerds, making this a bit of self-fulfilling definition. I work with 30-40 engineers and ops folks, all of whom I would classify as nerds based on their technical skills. Of these, I’d say 3-4 have a lack of people skills. Is this more or less than other fields?
In fact, of the ones that I’ve witnessed displaying misogyny I’d class them more in the outgoing extrovert side of things. But that may be because they’re more vocal and I’ve just missed it in the ones without the communications skills. There are alas too few women nerds for me to draw conclusions.
I’m a nerd. I’m a woman. Come to think of it, I don’t understand men.
Do you often buy computer components with a group of people? I have to be honest, it’s extremely rare for me to go down to the computer store and buy components in a group of people: so rare, I doubt I could make any sort of rational conclusion based on my limited experiences. Further, my problem is, in my experience, computer salespeople are hardly ever computer nerds (and in fact, rarely know anything more about the product that they are selling than the customer), so I’m not sure what relevance computer sales have to do with the issue of nerd misogyny?
It must be a woman thing.
How you doin! 
Misandrist!
So, if focusing too much on objects over people makes you a misgynist, then focusing too much on people over objects must make you a misandrist?
Or, is your premise based on the increasingly pervasive form of misandry that essentially feels that women are the default good, and men are the default bad, with men’s not-quite-so-badness being dependent on the degree to which they are more like women?
Men and women have spent millennia being confused and frustrated by each other but I really don’t think it’s fair to label being good at something or not so good at something as some form of hating the other.
Anyway, if you want to lay a nerd, don’t blame the nerd for not talking to you. Maybe you should learn to communicate with nerds, if you want to catch one.
Were you meaning to talk to this guy?
Sweater look nice.
Regarding the OP: I’m a nerd, and I think I know what you’re getting at. Not sure I’d call it “misogyny” though.
I think it’s more telling that you continue to take what appears to be a hostile tone. Did I offend your nerdish sensibilities?
I’m ok with that.
Technically, I believe it’s sexist to go around referring to women as “hot”. You are objectifying them as objects of sexual fullfillment, not as actual people.
I just never enountered anything I would consider a “macho culture” in IT. At least not compared to say, firemen or construction workers or something like that.
