Is There a "Standard" Turd?

[johnpost]

the name for a standard turd unit is a Hankey.

[Leo_Bloom]

@Fubaya

In the old days before robots, was there a human turdwrangler that handled this job?

Yes. Exact job description. Occupier assumes a position of high rank.

[Leo_Bloom]

@johnpost

the name for a standard turd unit is a Hankey.

[TreacherousCretin]

@SpoilerVirgin

For medical purposes there is the Bristol stool scale, “with 3 and 4 being the ideal stools especially the latter.” The Wikipedia article includes a convenient picture chart.

Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful.

@mlees

We don’t 'cotton to no Metric stuff 'round here… we’ll stick with the American Long Ton, thank you very much.

As opposed to the “metric shitload.”

[Chief_Pedant]

@TreacherousCretin

Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful.

What can you say, other than we should all aspire to #4 when we #2?

When I was in Medical School I heard a lecture by Denis Burkitt, who told us we needed to be on higher fibre diets, and we needed to be passing “large, soft stools” so often that we would have to have stool breaks instead of pee breaks. That would be yer #4, smooth and silky and soft.

[Tim_T-Bonham.net]

From Consumer Reports Feb, 2012 tests of toilets:

to simulate a bathroom’s worst nightmare, we made do with a measured mix of baby wipes, sponges (weighted with screws), plastic balls, and tubes

.

[Chief_Pedant]

That would make a nice bezoar but not a very realistic stool…

[Teacake]

@drastic_quench

Phew, I feel better about my golf ball / cookie dough diet.

I was concerned, you see. But it too will pass.

A little late, but I just wanted you to know that I laughed.

[Pushkin]

@Saint_Cad

If you’re in Europe, it would be the EFSMI. I believe they are the de facto worldwide certification body as IIRC there was a guy out here in Colorado that had his certified by them.

Ah, the Couric.

[Leo_Bloom]

@Chief_Pedant

That would make a nice bezoar but not a very realistic stool…

Haven’t seen that word in a while. Nice.

[Quartz]

N/m - ninjaed.

[Cillasi]

@ralph124c

When regulatory/certification organizations like CSA, TUV, BSA, etc. evaluate flush toilets, do they use a “standardized” turd to test these appliances? I wonder if there is sch a thing as a CE description of such an object (defining the mass, size, consistency, etc.). After all, it must be possible to objectively test toilest; to do so must mean that you have to test them under the same conditions-hence the “standard turd”.
Just like the chickens they fire at airliner cockpit windows!

Actually, they do test the toilets with manufactured “turd.” A few years back I looked up a study on the best toilets because I was remodeling my bathroom and came across a comparative study and it included the test and even showed the substance they used to test it. I don’t remember much about it now, and I no longer have the site, but I think it was something fairly official because I was looking up regulations, etc.

Found part of it: http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf_files/Toilet%20Certification%20Media%20Report1.pdf

[Cillasi]

@Cillasi

Actually, they do test the toilets with manufactured “turd.” A few years back I looked up a study on the best toilets because I was remodeling my bathroom and came across a comparative study and it included the test and even showed the substance they used to test it. I don’t remember much about it now, and I no longer have the site, but I think it was something fairly official because I was looking up regulations, etc.

Found part of it: http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf_files/Toilet%20Certification%20Media%20Report1.pdf

More “poop” This is part of the study I originally used. http://www.map-testing.com/info/menu/map-testing-protocol.html

[VinylTurnip]

@TreacherousCretin

Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful.

I’ve been buying these as gifts for friends. One for myself too, of course.

[Leo_Bloom]

Based on the above, if you poop 2.2 lbs, plus some more for toilet paper, and it flushes away, you have an “excellent” toilet. Make sure to ask your guests if there is any chance they might surpass that, and for safety deny them use of your toilet.

[TreacherousCretin]

@TreacherousCretin

Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful.

@VinylTurnip

I’ve been buying these as gifts for friends. One for myself too, of course.

Okay, I’ll admit it. Googling The Chart led me to the mugs, and I couldn’t resist getting a couple for selected myself and one other person.

[Colophon]

@Chief_Pedant

What can you say, other than we should all aspire to #4 when we #2?

Dunno about you, but I think you can’t beat a number 2 number 2 - one wipe and you’re off!

[Jaledin]

Mmmmmmmm…standard turd.

[TreacherousCretin]

@TreacherousCretin

…and I couldn’t resist getting a couple for selected myself and one other person.

Me talk pretty one day.
:smack:

[TreacherousCretin]

@Jaledin

Mmmmmmmm…standard turd.

Try the deluxe some time.