They adapt or they avoid decisions.
They usually have already resolved their day to day indecisions by staying with the safe choice. By wearing the same clothes or similar clothes or keeping their meals and food orders constant to avoid being overwhelmed by choices or being disappointed by their expectations.
That sounds like a horrid and hellish way to live.
Actually, it sounds a lot like living in a monastery. An environment where essentially everything in your life is dictated by a set of rules.
Demonstrated quickly in this clip of Robin Williams from Moscow on the Hudson.
He’s a Soviet citizen who defected and breaks down when confronted with too many choices.
Is it just me, or is this what we all do, usually unconsciously, many times a day?
I just got a text from my gf, suggesting we meet tonight at Brewery A, Brewery B, or Restaurant C, my choice. So, I looked at each places’ Facebook page. There’s a food truck we like at Brewery A, they’re tapping a new NE IPA at Brewery B, and nothing special is happening at Restaurant C. Brewery B is going to be crowded tonight and we just ate at Restaurant C last week.
I texted back, “see you at Brewery A at 7”.
I agree- I was thinking more in the sense of explicitly assigning a score rather than doing it intuitively.
Although in retrospect, I guess someone with this problem would have the same issue with actually assigning a ranking to something- the issue would just shift.
Yes, normally we do.
People with the disorder can’t decide that quickly. They will usually rely on someone else to make the decision for them because they don’t want the stress of choosing the wrong place. They will add way more variables than necessary. Their logic becomes circular. Even after making a choice, they are still thinking about it and whether they should change their choice.
In your example, the most likely pick would be Restaurant C as they have been there before, know what they can order, and know what to expect.
Went to Brewery A (Conny Creek) and had a great time.
(My gf works a 4 day workweek, so Thursdays are her Fridays. I therefore get to enjoy two Friday nights a week!)
So it sounds more like seriously flawed risk assessment to me, rather than an actual problem with choosing.
I mean, if you’re ordering at a restaurant, what *actual *risk is there for making the wrong decision? You might get something you don’t like? Stop and pick up a hamburger on the way home. You’re just out the cost of the meal, but you gained a valuable piece of information- that you don’t like whatever it was that you ordered.
And I’d argue that if the financial impact of a bad eating-out experience is enough to paralyze you with fear, then maybe you shouldn’t be eating out in the first place.
*To be, or not to be.
Or to be. Or not.
Being is good, not being might be good.
But better than being? That depends…*
I have to really watch out for this. I can easily over-over-analyze, and when in hunter/gatherer mode, it makes shopping a potential black hole. F’rinstance, I can take forever to choose between five brands of cereal, comparing grams of fiber (soluble and not) vs grams of sugar (and is that added, or naturally-occuring? Come to think of it, I’d better go back and check all five for fiber… did they just add psyllium powder, or is it good clean fiber from whole grains?)
I’m coping well, though. I gave myself ten minutes to research cereals (online, not in the store aisle), and before I leave for the store I know that I’ll grab two boxes of Mini-Wheats… and for all that’s holy, don’t think about reading any Nutrition Information panels… don’t even slow that cart down!
Sorry, not really. I suppose you’re not really grasping that it is a mental disorder which affects decision. They’re cognitive processes are not the same as yours and risk assessment, flawed or not, is only a small part of the disorder.
I can tell you that both the inability to make decisions and someone going into a pinball of thought are signs of “low sugar” (in commas because it involves both people who can test for it and people who don’t but who get back to normal after someone puts a sandwich inside them). And it makes sense: the brain needs sugar to function, if it doesn’t get enough it starts misbehaving.
In Spanish we call people who are like this el señor Dudas: Mr. Doubt. Gabinete Caligari wrote a song about it:
Hello Mr Doubt you’re already up now you can start to dubitate.
I know you’re worried about which foot to use when you begin to walk.
You’re in good fortune, that was a good choice;
luckily you have so many other chances to fret: bath or shower, coffee or tea?
*
Chorus: I like you, my friend, without a doubt,
you’re a great guy without a doubt…*
I’d always heard the story of Buridan’s Ass as involving two piles of hay: the donkey doesn’t have two different needs with identical pulls, it’s a single mirrored pull.
All my socks are the same color. I wear the exact same clothes pretty much every day. I do have other clothes. I have a suit for funerals, and graduations, weddings and such. One. I have a sport coat. One. I have two identical pair of dress shoes, and two identical pairs of casual shoes, and two identical pairs of exercise shoes, and three identical pairs of exercise pants, and exercise shirts. When I notice wear, or damage on any of the above, I get identical replacements.
There are benefits to having these habits. How many miss-matched socks do you have? I might have one, I might not. I don’t keep my socks in pairs, since I already know how many feet I have. I can pack for a week, or two in five minutes.
Oh, I have one shirt different from the others. Green. I wear it once a year.
The fact is, none of these choices was difficult, or significantly compulsive. I made the choices years ago. I don’t care enough about them to change them. Fashion is irrelevant to me. “Looking good for x experience.” is also irrelevant to me. Shopping doesn’t even rise to the level of irrelevant for me. Minimal effort for things that I find irrelevant is an easy choice.
Food is relevant to me, but I generally don’t care about restaurant food. It’s all fairly moderate and middling. Except Pho. Good Pho is worth a fairly long drive. I like Hue style, but the meat types are okay. I generally ask the server what the last thing on the menu they had, and try that in a new restaurant, unless it’s something like beet stew.
Choice? Default is fine, unless I already have a preference.
Tris.
“I’ll bring enough kimchi for thirty white people, a pint should do.”
I’m not seeing it- making decisions is entirely about choosing risk vs. reward. That’s WHAT it is. Even if you’re choosing between two things you know you’ll like, the risk is that you’ll pick the one you enjoy less, and the reward is picking the one you’ll like more.
I mean, if we have perfect information about the risk vs. reward, there IS no choice involved- one is clearly better than the rest.
But most of the time, we have incomplete information, so there’s always an additional small risk that we are making the incorrect choice even when we think we’re making the right one.
Sorry, you’re just not grasping the concept of the disorder. You and I may be able to make these decisions but they cannot, their cognitive process impairs their ability to make decisions.