Moderator Note
greenslime1951, political jabs are not permitted in GQ. I am making this a note instead of a warning since you are new here and this is evidently intended as a joke. But don’t do this again.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
Because even supervolcanoes know that Canadians are too nice to blow up 
Except a patch for a damaged boat hull.
Or build entirely new boats. Or canoes. Or even rafts.
Or appropriately signal passing ships. Or catch a ride from the regular visitors.
Back on topic;
Bore holes would be mere inches in diameter. Hardly seems likely that sufficient magna would come through each hole while remaining liquid all the way to the surface. If it did some all the way up, the holes themselves would necessarily enlarge themselves through turning the surrounding earth to liquid form. How large they would become and what kind of pressure coming through them would be unknowable.
Then there’s the volume issue. The Lava Creek Tuff residue of the last eruption from 640,000 years ago, contains an estimated 240 cubic miles of material. If we were to somehow be able to limit a flow of that size to an area 100 miles in diameter, it would be a mere 160 feet deep, but still, there’s no possible way we could control such an event or guarantee the limits of it. Besides the idea of consigning nearly 8,000 square miles of land to be buried under molten lava…
What if we started systematically haulling trucklods of material out of the caldera? If we kept at it night and day for a couple 1000 years it would at least reduce the amount of material blown into the atmosphere when it does go.
Me I’m getting in the car and driving to Maine as soon as it starts acting up.
I think the surface soil is not the big problem. Consider the eruption of Mount Pinatubo:
The magma and SO2 are not from the surface soil; they’re material brought up from the depths. Some surface soil may get scattered and blasted skyward during the initial rupture, but the eruption lasted for several days, and it’s those several days during which the subsurface material is being ejected.
Given that most volcanoes are in fact actual mountains, it doesn’t seem like building an artificial mountain on top of a magma chamber will do much to stop an eruption. Just for reference, Mauna Kea’s summit is 33,000 feet above the ocean floor, and it is still active.
I don’t know where Ima gonna go when the volcano blows…
Please. To paraphrase Saruman: “Do you know how how Miller Beer first came into being? It was grain once, taken by the dark brewers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible foamy beverage.”
For that alone, we should build a giant steel cone over the Yellowstone Caldera with a pipe coming out the top that runs over to Milwaukee.
That only works with regular volcanos, for Yellowstone you’d need super-virgins.
I do not think this cite means what you think it means…
I am not, however, disputing your very reasonable opinion in regards to an eruption in our lifetime 
Also, how to drill into magma without the magma melting your drill bit.
magma is 700-1300 C commonly while tungsten carbide commonly used in drill bits melts at 2870 C
but sure, the engineering problem is drilling and keeping a 100 meter wide hole open, which is probably what you’d need, I suspect it would look more like strip mining than drilling, eg one giant sloped hole going down 6-10 km to the magma chamber, which would have to be 30 or 40 km wide to stop the sides collapsing.
Well, I’m not volunteering to ask Supergirl if she’s still a virgin.
Wouldn’t Supergirl have am invulnerable hymen? Pity the poor ordinary dude who tries to get it on with her…
Not to her finger. And Superman is a cousin which is fine by most states.
Or that special Green Rabbit.
or Krypto. :eek:
Woman of Steel, Man of Kleenex?
Get a really big can of liquid nitrogen and freeze all the magma.
A kajillion gallons of Wart-X should do the job.
When the eruption is starting, trigger a series of megatsunamis big enough to wash that far inland and drown the bastard.