Is there an a priori method for determining the alignment of a fitted sheet?

Most fitted sheets are chaotic neutral.

I did that too. Worked great until I got a set where the two elastic sides were the long ones, not the short ones. Oops.

This works well for mattress rotation/flipping also. Just mark corners with small numbers.

I have a rotation of two sheet sets, one with a pattern that makes it easy, one without. They have tags on opposite corners! But I’ve learned to always put the symmetrical sheet with the tag at the right foot of the bed.

My experience, with experimentation, is that fitted king sheets are actually square. Sample size of 4 different sets or so. No matter how I put them on, they fit the same - tight on the width, some slack head to foot.

The Monster Manual says they usually are CN. You need a cleric or item of Detect Alignment to make sure.

Our fitted sheets are for queen size. They have the elastic only at the top and bottom, so it is easy to determine how they fit the mattress.

Buy a square bed.

Or a circular one.

I solve this problem by sleeping on top of the sheet and under a nice blanket.

Thank God someone else has this problem. I have no idea how to figure this out. And I too am delighted when it’s time to use the striped sheets again. I think I’m just going to go buy all striped sheets, and leave it at that.

Any regular polygon would work, although I think it would be difficult to get a bed and sheets made in septagons or something. I guess with enough money to throw at the problem, anything is possible.

I vote you throw the sheets and blankets on the bed any old way and just roll up in them, cocoon fashion, at bedtime. The plus side here is that there’s no state of unmake - it may look chaotic to the untrained eye, but of course it’s exactly how you meant to put it.

Now if only I could get the wife to buy that story.

Once I determined which way the sheet went, I fastened a safety pin to the upper right corner (my side of the bed). Now I just find the safety pin and go from there…

For a queen sized bed I can stretch the short edge out between my hands, but I can’t do that with the long side, thus I only need to stretch out once to know which side I have.

Now that’s sorted, could somebody tell me how to fold a fitted sheet neatly for storage? Or is that also generally considered impossible? I tend to just bunch the sides in to make a vaguely regular blob shape, then stuff it at the bottom of the pile.

I’m not sure about that. Lurkers and trappers seem to be closely related to fitted sheets and they’re pure neutral.

If you got twin beds the problem would go away, as the rectangular “long” and “short” sides would become obvious prior to the experience of fitting one corner and testing.

You can’t read this thread and not detect the very Chaos inherent in the fitted sheet? Also consider that something has to balance the Lawfulness of the flat sheet.

True. Or you can try an empirical approach. Sleep on it for several days. If you usually wake up being strangled by your bedding, it’s probably Chaotic Evil.