Isn’t there any hat I can wear without being some kind of a-- a-- FREAK? And ball caps don’t count.
Just generic, plain hats? A fedora, or bowler, or homburg, or tweed cap or something? I would think most hats aren’t associated with a particular subculture.
Most hats have some kind of image associated with them. If not subculture, then time period or fashion style. Obvious? Maybe. But I think what I’m getting at is: what is the “jeans” of hats?
A simple ski hat, like this. I’ve got one that is straight black. It’s cultural message, in it’s entirety, is “I want to keep my head warm.”
Well, the jeans of hats is what you eliminated in your OP-- baseball hats. There are very nice baseball hats (the dark, designer jeans of the world) to dirty, worn out, beat up old hats (the comfy, faded jeans of the world).
It depends on what you mean by “freak.” A snap brim fedora may make some people think you’re old school, but others will think you’re hip. Same with a narrow brim porkpie.
Do you want to keep the sun out of your eyes, or just off the top of your head? Do you need it to keep warm? Please clarify your need.
Anything you wear–a baseball cap, jeans, a three-piece suit–is sending messages and creating an image. If you want a hat that looks like what most other people would wear, you’re looking at baseball caps and ski hats.
I’d wear jeans, but I’d never wear a baseball cap. Baseball caps say that you are into baseball, that you lean towards the social, “jock,” segment of society, or that you are blue collar (or all three).
my need. well, how can I put it with the least element of shame…?
To… hide the… onset of… baldness. (quietly weeps)
I didn’t see your post 3 when I wrote that. The newsboy cap is very informal, and it has been in and out of fashion for over a century. Kangol takes a slightly puffy version of a sports-car cap and turns it around so it looks like a beret from the front. There’s the cloth bucket hat you see on golfers and tennis folks.
Oh, that. Well, friend, you’re going to have to either get a very good hairpiece, or learn to look cool with baldness. Be at one with your scalp. It shows you are a grownup. Let your scalp flag fly. 
Don’t get me wrong. Hats are very cool, but if you wear one all the time to hide your pate, folks will see you as vain or scared. (Or Jewish ;j )
Yeah, I know… but even aside from that, I’ve never felt comfortable with a hat because I feel like there’s all kinds of baggage associated with any given hat (jock, hippie, businessman, goth, frat boy, etc), but I want to enjoy hats, dagnabbit!
I can’t believe nobody has yet suggested the tinfoil hat! Timeless, functional, cheap – what more could you want?
Shave your head. You’re going bald anyway. Embrace the change. Mach3 the whole thing. Cueball it.
Yeah, I’m planning on doing that eventually. But I’m only at the thinning stage now.
Then a baseball cap is your best bet. Maybe people will think you are Ron Howard. 
Why not embrace a classic Zero Mostel swirlie-combover?
As I lose my hair I shorten it. This will sound stupid but what makes baldness look bad is hair, not the lack of it. In fact, lots of hair doesn’t guarantee anything. I give you Donald Trump and his pet rat Scruffy. Long hair on a balding head (vs no hair), I give you Gallager (before and after). By cutting your hair short you will look younger over time. Look at Ron Howard’s hair cut vs Patrick Stewart. Mr. Howard looks like he aged 30 years overnight. Patrick Stewart has acheived an almost ageless look.
As for hats, you can’t escape creating an identity with one. All clothing creates an image. Pick one that works for you. There’s a guy I work with who lost a lot of his hair to chemo so he simple shaved it off. Looks really good and so does the hat that he wears (panama). It works for him quite nicely.
keep your head held high and have fun choosing a new look.
I see a hat as a tool. Just like a coat is. Wear the right one for the right weather.
I will wear a straw cowboy hat if I’m going to be in the sun all day. It protects my eyes and ears.
I will wear a baseball cap under the hood of a coat if I have to be in wet rainy weather all day. Keeps the rain off my face.
If it’s cold and I’m cross country skiing, I’ll take a head band.
I donno. I’m 45 and have a full head of hair. Two of the guys that I work with do the ¼” shave on their heads, and I guess they are going bald. Not sure. I think it’s mostly convenience for them. And they where a cap (baseball type) everywhere.