A friend who’s having problems with his (incredibly trashy, evil, vapid and, worst of all, pregnant) sister stated that he would give anything to be able to erase her. He didn’t mean erase as a euphemism for “kill” but as in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- you remove your memories of them, you have them stopped from contacting you, all is as if they never existed and you never knew them.
Had me thinking (just as the movie did) “Is there anybody I would erase?” I don’t think so- even the people I’ve loathed or hated I learned something from, but then there are other people who’ve known folks so hideous that erasing them would be for the best.
I do have a couple of memories I’d erase, however. Things I’ve done or said that I later realized “Man, I shouldn’t have said or done that” or that were just really embarassing. I’d also erase the memory of stumbling on a rattlesnake when I was a kid because I think it’s why I still have a major phobia of snakes, and I’d erase the memory of a horribly burned very old aunt because it’s almost impossible to remember her without that image coming to the front.
Is there any person or any memory or period of your life you’d erase if you could?
There was an episode of “Boston Legal” this season in which a young woman was suing to be allowed to take a drug that would eliminate her memories of a recent sexual assault. I did some thinking about this. I was raped many years ago, and it would’ve been wonderful if someone could have given me a drug to take away the memory. But if that had been done, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’d be somebody else. Maybe somebody better, but definitely somebody different.
I really wouldn’t want to totally eliminate my memories of people and events, even the bad ones. It might be good if a drug could permanently tone down the emotional impact, though.
One of the mantras by which I live and AFAIK I came up with is: “A regret is merely a lesson unlearned.” That is, I’ve found that most of the painful or embarassing experiences in my life that I’d want to erase, when I finally came around and learned that lesson, it wasn’t so bad and it was well worth it to learn the lesson.
Still, that said, despite the plethora of valuable life lessons, there’s one individual I can think of whom I’d STILL rather have never met. He was one of those SUPER manipulative, sweet talker guys. At one point he managed to drug up one of my female friends, take advantage of her, and convince her it was my fault (I STILL can’t figure that one out). He got my best friend to OD and almost got him seriously hurt because of it. He sold drugs and as a result got us jumped, got my best friend a concussion, had me fighting for my life out-numbered (I still kicked all their asses ), and him in jail for stabbing someone in the heart. He broke into my house and robbed us. He held a knife to my brother’s and to my then-pregnant nephew’s mom’s throats. AND I just found out a couple days ago tried to run down his wife with a car. Not to mention, most of this happened SINCE I’ve been actively trying to avoid him for years since the first incident of essentially raping my friend.
Yeah, I think I’d erase that guy, from a lot of people’s lives… but that’s it.
I think I already have erased some things, and I wonder what they are.
Other than that, I’d be afraid that erasing memories would make me lose the knowledge and experience that I gained from the unpleasant memories, which would mean that they might happen again. That wouldn’t be worth it.
I’ve had two relationships that ended horribly, and as soon as they were over I realized right away how horrible they had been the whole time. I can honestly say that within a year of those relationships ending, I had pretty much forgotten the years of my life I had been with those guys.
For instance, I lost my virginity to one of the guys with whom I had a horrible relationship. While I can remember the actual act, I cannot for the life of me remember the date or even the year (I wasn’t raped, for the record).
I have very nice memories of boys I dated before those two jokers and boys I dated after, but the time I was with them is pretty much gone or at least very very fuzzy.
I wouldn’t mind if it was all COMPLETELY gone, though. Wouldn’t miss that time one bit.
I would gladly erase any number of things that I’ve done, but since I have done them I don’t particularly want to erase the memory of them. Otherwise, I’ll either do the same stupid thing again, or be at a disadvantage next time I encounter somebody who does remember it.
As pinkfreud said earlier, everything and everybody up to this point has made me the woman I am. I wouldn’t change a thing, even if parts of it (like before I got sober) are pretty fucked up.
Just one: a student who attempted to make my life hell a couple of years ago.
Failing the memory wipe, if I ever run into him again, I hope I’m driving a bus.
I’d erase my decade long friendship with the guy who cheated on his wife to sleep with my girlfriend. I learned a lot from the experience and I think I turned it into a positive for myself, but I still hate him passionately, and I don’t think I’m comfortable hating someone so much. I’d prefer to just not know he exists.
I would erase the memory of ‘believing’ my bed ridden grandfather tried ‘to touch me’. He was the most loving pa ever. I was lying beside him one night reading to him. He’d had had several strokes and no control over his left side. He dozed off and then waking abruptly tried to reach for me, and his hand hit my pubis (I was in pjs - I was also 8). I remember him saying “Dellie, are you there?” (he had a fear of being alone) and I automatically thought “great, even Pa does it” because I had been a victim of my mother’s ‘boyfriends’ since I’d been 5 - single mother, blondie daughter. In my experience, it was a case of not will he try it, but when will he try it. It was to my horror as an adult I understood that the man who was wonderful and loving wasn’t trying to touch me, but needed reassurance he wasn’t alone. I would love to purge that memory and the guilt that I thought he was as pervy as Mum’s boyfriends. I feel I did him a disservice with that thought. I hate it that he died before I realised.
There are any number of events in my memory that will still make me groan with embarrassed anguish if I recall them. I wish they’d never happened at all, but since they did, I don’t think it would be good to erase them, as that would just leave me in a state to repeat them. I’m not sure to what extent they’ve shaped who I really am, but I wouldn’t want to put that at risk either.
There’s one guy from hich school who I would punch in the face if I saw him again. But I guess he made me stronger and not as willing to take crap from people so maybe it was worth it. I’m not sure.
Ex-girlfriend I dated in 1989-1990. Being the nice, generous guy I was, she took advantage of this and exploited it and showed no appreciation at all in return and just took it all for granted. Over time she turned into such a greedy, heartless, selfish, money-grubbing leech who just HAD to have her way or she’d have a whiny, bitchy tantrum in public, much to my embarrassment. I don’t know why I stayed with the wretched cunt for as long as I did, but she cost me money (of which I had little from working a shitty fast food job with an asshole manager hovering over me), she cost me time, she nearly caused me to flunk out of college because she monopolized my time needed for studying, and and even drove me to thoughts of suicide. God, she was so fucking miserable to be around. How good it felt the night she insulted me one last time and I told her to fuck off once and for all before I stormed out on her. If I could just delete from my mind this miserable era of my life I’d be a whole lot better off.
), and him in jail for stabbing someone in the heart. He broke into my house and robbed us. He held a knife to my brother’s and to my then-pregnant nephew’s mom’s throats. AND I just found out a couple days ago tried to run down his wife with a car. Not to mention, most of this happened SINCE I’ve been actively trying to avoid him for years since the first incident of essentially raping my friend.