Is there reverse racism or is it all just racist

I am married to a Chinese Malaysian and she continues to tell me how she wishes I was less white and that white people do not know how to do things properly and we are all stupid and have ruined her country. I also get the " I wish I had married a nice Chinese boy" even though she moans about they way they treat their wives and have a proclivity to take mistresses.
She sees this as honesty and not racist cause apparently only white people are racists and everyone else is just being honest about us kwailou…Thoughts

I don’t think that reverse racism is a meaningful or useful term.

If you are living in Malaysia and not a Malasian citizen, then you are a minority, with less power that the Malaysian citizens. Doesn’t matter about the color of your skin.

I once dated a Japanese girl who said to me pretty much the same things your wife says. After many months I worked out what her problem was. She had low self-esteem and thought that I looked down on her because she was asian. So she was taking a defensive stance against what she expected I was thinking. It took me a long time to convince her that I would never date someone I looked down upon.

So, in short, can other races be racist towards white people? Hell yeah. People who don’t think so have very limited experience in the world.

Perhaps next time she complains you should let her know that she’s perfectly free to divorce you and find her nice Chinese boy. I wouldn’t put up with too much of that shit, personally.

I agree, you need to call her bluff.

Racism is racism.

Why would you put up with such shit from the woman you married?


May or may not apply to your wife, but here is some interesting reading about Chinese women:

It concludes with: “Foreign men who report the greatest degree of contentment in and satisfaction with their marriages to Chinese nationals are those who typically prefer being married to, and have deliberately sought out in the past, a strong-willed and dominant maternal-like figure.”…“While it is true that not every woman in China can be diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder, it would be fair to say that many Chinese women will, at the very least, exhibit some such traits as described above. Even among those who are not pathologically narcissistic, most (especially women from middle- and upper-middle class families) will develop compensatory defenses and behaviors in regard to men and in the management of their children and households. These are typically expressed in the form of control and dominance, power struggles, hypercriticism, and “cold wars” when frustrated or disappointed.”

Another vote for racism is racism. On an individual basis it’s all the same. Arguably, it might be different on a societal basis - a minority racist won’t have the social support for his racism that a majority racist might have.

Racism is racism. I think the only true definition of “reverse racism” would be racism against your own race.

It’s all just racism, and personally I think less of a person when they use the term “reverse racism.”

OP, if it makes you feel any better, my guess is that if she were married to a Chinese man she would probably be criticizing him and telling him that she should have married a foreigner that would treat her with kindness and respect.


There’s no such thing as "reverse racism,’ any more than “reverse hatred” or “reverse stupidity.”

But the real question is: Did you know she was a racist cunt before you married her?

/\This/\ He’s the vulnerable minority in that situation, he made a sacrifice to be with her. Though an interesting point to consider is Malaysian Chinese face a lot of government-sactioned discrimination in China, so she might be accustomed to racism.

You are shorter than your Japanese girlfriend?

I have to disagree with that last one. There is such a thing as reverse stupidity.

It’s just like regular stupidity except it makes that annoying beeping noise.

There’s institutional bigotry and individual bigotry. Only majority groups can do the former, and anyone can do the latter. It doesn’t really matter in your case though. The fact that she’s acting like that toward her husband about anything is what is the problem. If it wasn’t that, she’d just be mistreating you about something else. She’s either just using it as an excuse to be an asshole, or she really does hate white people, in which case she intentionally married someone she has contempt for, and that never indicates anything healthy.

I was in a relationship like that too. My ex-boyfriend/current stalker was just telling me that he finally got over his hatred of white people so now everything would be good between us. Um no, psycho, the problem was that you’re an abusive dick. He would have been the same way to a black woman and assuming your situation is just how you said it is, your wife would be the same way to a Chinese man.

What about South African apartheid? The white minority certainly practiced institutional bigotry against the black majority. Unless, of course, you want to call that “reverse institutional bigotry” based on your definition.

“Racism” is becoming a loaded term to the point of uselessness.

To me, it has always meant nothing more and nothing less than making assumptions about individuals based on their (perceived) race.

The US political right wants to use it only to refer to the concept of active racial discrimination (which is now illegal and hence a mostly-“solved” problem) and explicit stereotyping.

The US political left increasingly uses it exclusively to mean something like “anything the majority race (aka whites) does that harms or bothers, explicitly or implicitly, a minority.”

Both are foolishly limited definitions (I’m pretty sure the left-leaning one has it’s roots in some sociologist, but I haven’t bothered to find the wellspring yet). The inability for people to define their terms well has led to almost any discussion of racism either looking like a big bunch of idiot snowballing or blowhards arguing past each other.

That said, “reverse racism” is silly, because it indulges every stupid idea about how to define “racism” in one happy package.

There is no such thing as reverse racism, I’ve never even heard the term used outside the USA. It might be trying to describe a concept valid only in certain parts of the USA, but it does so clumsily.
I’m guesing your wife says this during fights right OP? Or does she go around all day complaining like that? We’re not getting the context here, but it obviously BOTHERS you so why don’t you ask her to stop?
Another thing is that mentioning race at all is taboo in the USA, less so in other cultures. It can be pretty jarring to have everyone comfortable mentioning race all day long, race based nicknames etc.

There is in a sense, “Reverse DISCRIMINATION”, as in Affirmitive action.

A classic example would be a white person suing for racial discrimination, as whites are not generally known to be a so called protected class, ergo the Title.

My law dictionary has it as a listing.

I use to call my late husband ‘white boy’. We both are white. I was usually making a point but it was never said in a mean way. He loved it and it always made him laugh.

Sometimes in sociology they call the group in power the majority group even if it’s not the majority in numbers. It does lead to confusion though so I should have said something else.

She’s racist.