Is this a true story?

[GovernmentMan]

I just got an email from my uncle, who usually forwards all sorts of right-wing stuff

A liberal ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!”

At this moment, a brave Navy SEAL who had served 15 tours of duty stood up and held up a rock.

“How old is this rock?”

The professor smirked arrogantly and replied “4.6 billion years. Idiot”

“Wrong. It’s 5,000 years old. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk. He stormed out of the room.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day.

[friedo]

Are you serious?

[Mangetout]

Does it look like a true story?

[Stauderhorse]

That looks like a parody of “inspirational” right-wing stories. An eagle flew in and shed a tear, really?

It appears to have gone over your uncle’s head, though.

[An_Arky]

How idiotic. I can’t believe anyone with a brain cell in their cranium could be so credulous as to not understand implicitly that this has not even a shred of truth to it. An eagle shedding a tear on a piece of chalk? GM, I have a very hard time buying that you have any doubt about the (utter lack of) veracity of this and I would like for you to be totally honest about your motivation for posting this. If you fail to provide an honest response, I would ask anyone reading this thread, mods especially, to consider what exactly is being perpetrated here.

[chiroptera]

Nope.

What drivel.

[Mangetout]

I can’t even tell who it’s supposed to be attacking. I mean, ostensibly, it’s anti-evolution and anti-Marxism, but it’s such a stupid piece of drivel, surely nobody could take it seriously, so it must be a parody of what a really stupid right-wing person would say, mustn’t it?

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

Let us consider the reasonable possibilities:

1. GovernmentMan is a living avatar of Poe’s Law, and actually thinks this story is remotely plausible. In this case, his uncle should really be ashamed.

2. GovernmentMan is attempting to be provocative by pretending to not know how ridiculous the story is.

3. GovernmentMan is coyly bringing up this droll piece of subtle skewering, rather than coarsely saying “hey, check out this parody!”

4. Somehow, some way, this is going to involve hipsters.

[steronz]

@Mangetout

I can’t even tell who it’s supposed to be attacking. I mean, ostensibly, it’s anti-evolution and anti-Marxism, but it’s such a stupid piece of drivel, surely nobody could take it seriously, so it must be a parody of what a really stupid right-wing person would say, mustn’t it?

Who knows?! That’s part of the fun!

I just reposted this to my Facebook page and my dad instantly messaged me to ask if my account had been hacked. Mission accomplished, I say!

[Esox_Lucius]

@GovernmentMan

Is this a true story?

There have been one or two right-wing fantasies similar to it involving a pinko commie professor who gets what he deserves from a True American Patriot. This one is taking the piss out of them and doing it well, apparently. It had me going until the eagle cried.

You should point your uncle toward Stephen Colbert as a real American and see what happens.

@Mangetout

…it’s such a stupid piece of drivel, surely nobody could take it seriously…

That’s the joke. Some people are taking it seriously.

[Arnold_Winkelried]

@Esox_Lucius

This one is taking the piss out of them and doing it well, apparently. It had me going until the eagle cried.

Come on! The second sentence already shows clearly that it’s a fake.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!”

[Revtim]

Obviously, it’s a parody. GovernmentMan, did you write it? It’s pretty good IMHO.

In version 2, you might consider making the professor gay and die of AIDS.

[Anaamika]

I liked it, it made me laugh.

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!”

This sounds like a Jack Chick line.

[Prelude_to_Fascination]

@Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!”

This sounds like a Jack Chick line.

Exactly. I immediately thought it was a variation of Chick’s Big Daddy masterpiece.

[Freudian_Slit]

@Mangetout

I can’t even tell who it’s supposed to be attacking.

I assumed right wingers who would circulate this kind of anti-liberal glurge.

[RTFirefly]

@Esox_Lucius

That’s the joke. Some people are taking it seriously.

the comedy is that it’s serious
This is a strange enough new play on words
-Jason Mraz

[Joey_P]

[Charlie]Rock, Flag and Eagle![/Charlie]

[drillrod]

I’ve only read the OP and none of the responses, but I’m confused… why did the Navy SEAL have a rock in class?

[Regallag_The_Axe]

@drillrod

I’ve only read the OP and none of the responses, but I’m confused… why did the Navy SEAL have a rock in class?

Are you tellin me you don’t carry a rock around with you everywhere you go? What kinda librul commie atheist bastard are you anyway?