Jesus Christ - point out where I’ve said anything about the uptight person having to do anything or change anything? You can’t, because I didn’t. “Uptight” is a descriptor, not a call to action, FFS.
And it’s not about understanding others - it’s about understanding yourself - if you say you like women, but not transwomen, then either you don’t actually like all women, or you don’t consider trans women to be women. That’s all.
No, it’s subtly different - if you’re already attracted to them and you stop being attracted when you find out they’re trans and for no other reason, then you clearly don’t actually accept them as women.
It’s implied. Roger asks Mary (his friend of long standing, whose status he already knows), if Shannon is a biological woman or the product of surgery; Mary says “She’s like me”; and Roger then says he could never be attracted to a post-op transexual. Clearly Roger takes"“like Mary” to mean post-op.
Telling a gay person to try straight sex is almost always done with the intention of getting the person to stop being gay entirely. Telling a straight person to have sex with a trans person is not trying to get the straight person to stop being straight. A straight person who has sex with a trans person is still as heterosexual as ever.
The vast majority of gay people have tried straight sex, and found it not to their liking. Often, unsuccessful attempts to be straight are a source of considerable trauma to gay people. This is such a common narrative among gay people that someone suggesting it is immediately demonstrating massive ignorance about the most basic facts of growing up gay in the US.
“Not being attracted to trans people” is not a sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is unusual in its apparent immutability. Most other preferences, even those associated with sexual attraction, are much more fluid. Recommending that a straight guy try dating a trans woman is no more offensive than suggesting that a guy who only dates blondes try dating a brunette.
^thanks.
People who aren’t your best friend in life probably experience similar urges. But that’s not important right now. Deciding who I don’t want to sleep with is not “bullshit” such that anyone gets to be crass about it. You can give me crap about stuff that doesn’t matter, and I’ll return the favour with some interest, but the time it starts to get personal is the time you get to back off.
Unless you’re Wilt Chamberlain, who has ever said they like all women? Pretty much every man has some types of women he’s attracted to and some types he isn’t. That doesn’t mean he’s denying the womanhood of the women he’s not attracted to.
You should accept that people are individuals and have their own individual preferences. And there’s nothing wrong with a person just because their individual preferences aren’t the same as yours.
Dating can be very hard for members of the TS/TG community because many straight cis people refuse to even countenance the idea that they could be attracted to a transgender person. If it were a blind date, maybe. But it’s a dinner party. Roger’s being a dillhole about it.
Since Roger is firmly of the opinion that he can’t be attracted to a transwoman, but clearly is capable of being buddies with one, isn’t it kinder of him not to give Shannon false hope?
It does if he is in all other ways attracted to her - if he was totally into her before he finds out.
It’s only when that “individual preference” encompasses a denial of someone’s harmless identity that I think of it as being the least bit wrong. And not in a “you should change” kind of way, because I don’t think it’s the kind of thing people are going to want to change (not that I think it’s innate, mind you)
It’s not the same moral judgement of people as it would be if they were transphobic or racist. It’s just looking down on the squares. That’s OK, I expect my BDSM friends think I’m hopelessly square in my turn, but I’m not turning ponyboy just to not be considered uptight. “Uptight” is a descriptor that fits someone who would reject a woman they otherwise wouldn’t, just because there was surgery involved in building her vagina…
See, people keep trying to cast this as some sort of taste or preference issue, but it really isn’t. Blonde is a taste. Freckles is a taste. Big boobs is a taste. This is something else, IMO. If you ask a man to list his wants in a woman, he’ll tell you what he likes her to look like, how he likes her to think, what he likes her to do in bed - “Has always had their own vagina” rarely comes up outside Bangkok, IME.
How could he have been attracted to her in all other ways when he’d only seen her cell phone pic and been told about her by a buddy?
In all other ways possible, then.
Would he not have also been attracted to her in person, absent the knowledge of her being trans? That’s kind of the impression I got from the wolf whistle.
So straight cis people should change their mind about who they are attracted to so that members of the TS/TG community can feel better about themselves? :dubious:
I’m curious, do you read the webcomic Girls With Slingshots? Because there’s been a recent storyline like this. One of the women is into BDSM but she’s had a difficult time finding a boyfriend who’s also into that lifestyle. Then she met a guy she really liked but she was afraid to tell him about her interest in BDSM because she didn’t know what his reaction would be. When she finally told him, his reaction was to be concerned she wouldn’t be interested in him because he wasn’t into it.
Naah. I’m familiar with it through the links/occasional crossovers with Something Positive, though.
I know it. Most of the comments from the readership was that it would be so cool if it turned out he was into being flogged, pegged or whatever, and it would be uptight of him if he weren’t at least willing to be persuaded. At the last count, though, after the Big Reveal as above (he was a demi-vierge himself) her closing comment was “…All I need is for you to love me”. Aww…
Does no one else think it’s ironic that the whole point of this thread is to judge him for his sexual preference?