Well - after my fantastic success :rolleyes: in my “small breasts” thread, I figured I’d through caution to the breaking wind and ask another question that will probably offend somebody.
Twice in my life a woman I was dating (I’m a straight male, btw) has come out to me as bisexual. In the first case, I was pretty squinked out. I was young and we didn’t know each other well, it was our first date. We never went out again. (Sorry, Amy, wherever you are).
The second time, it was a woman I was friends with for a long time, we had dated for six-months or so, and I was a lot more at ease with it. At first my mind jumped to all sorts of prurient possiblities. Later, I realized that I wasn’t totally comfortable with those ideas and her bisexuality bothered me. It wasn’t a “Eww, gross!” thing, though, it was the gnawing thought that, try as I may, I wouldn’t be able to give here everything she needed to be happy.
So, the mention of transgenderism in another thread made me wonder how I’d react if somebody revealed that they were a M-to-F transgendered person. I think I’d react, honestly, much like the above. If I were new to the person, I think I’d have a hard time thinking of them them beyond this physical identity. However, if I had known this person for a long time, already figured out what mental image I had of them, then I might not think twice about continuing, or starting, a dating relationship with them.
So, to summarize - if I already thought of the person as a woman, then I probably would continue thinking of them as such and would be more likely to date them than if I knew her & this fact at the first meeting.
So, if you’re transgendered, or if you’re otherwise in the know, how do you go about revealing this to people? What’s your protocol? Any rules you try to follow?
To the straight folks, how do you think you’d react if your dating partner revealed they were transgendered - or have you already had to react to this?
To the gay folks, is there any bias in the community (yes, I know I’m generalizing) that looks down on the transgendered? Does the born-female lesbian date the converted-to-female lesbian typically?
Disclaimer: Yes, I’ll acknowlege that I’m being a little un-PC here. I know that it’s proper to say that a person was always female and the sugery just aligned the physical with the mental actuality. I’m also admitting to some predjudices that I know are also un-PC but I’ll admit they’re my problem and I’m not suggesting that they should be any others’ problems or that they’re the right or only way to think.
It just means we could fall in love in any direction. However, I only speak for myself and the few others I know for sure feel this way; I am certain there are people who feel differently. But bisexual doesn’t always mean “I’m bi. I need a man AND a woman to be happy.” Just one will do. Also, it is your prerogative if you want to date them or not - it’s good to hear you’re not squicked out by it so much, but your preference is your preference, and that should be respected, too.)
