Is this sort of resentment normal?

Here’s the story: about six months ago, I moved out of my parents house and into the fraternity house.

My family is quite religious (Methodist). Mom and Dad have been married 25 years or so, and they have five kids. I’m the second.

When we were small, M&D struggled to support five kids on Dad’s paycheck (Mom was a housewife), so we didn’t go out to eat except for birthdays and special occasions, and VERY rarely fast food. 90% of our toys were presents from birthdays or christmas, we didn’t get an allowance, we got new clothes only when we needed them, most of our food was off-brand to save money. We always took sack lunches to school, only being allowed to buy hot lunch once a week, IF that, and it usually came with begging “Mom, it’s PIZZA day!!”

When I turned 12, I was given a $25/month allowance, which naturally went towards hot lunches at school.

When I turned 15, my parents started pressuring me to get a job and support myself, as they did my older brother. So I got a job and have been working - unemployment being a rarity - for the past four years. I’m 19, if you couldn’t do the math.

When I turned 16, I was allowed to use the spare vehicle, a huge old truck, IF I bought gas and otherwise maintained it. I did get to use dad’s Metro to go to work, sometimes. Since I had a job, I was expected to support myself. No allowance, no help. I bought my own car with my own money (cash, parents refuse to co-sign a loan), pay my insurance out of my own pocket, buy all my own clothes, etc., the only thing provided was food, shelter, and toiletries.

When I started college, I naturally assumed they would tap into the money they’ve been socking away for college expenses. Well, I made the mistake of getting scholarships, so the college fund was unneeded. Since then, I’ve lost my scholarships, and my parents feel that I should take out loans and pay for college myself because of this, which is what I have done.

When I moved away from home, into the fraternity house, this trend of non-payment continued, forcing me to now pay for everything; food, clothes, toiletries, rent, frat dues, car payments, car insurance, etc. Even while I was unemployed and at starvation level, my parents continued to charge me car insurance and car payments, paying them for me and keeping a ‘tab’ for when I have a job and can pay.

Partly because of this detachment, I now owe my parents around 3 grand, the fraternity about 1 grand, and have about 10-12 grand in college loans taken out.

My younger sisters are one who nearly died (and is partially deaf from) spinal meningitis, and two who are twins (which is why mom had 5 kids, she kept trying for twins).

My parents have always provided copious amounts of clothes for the girls, each one has about five times the amount of shirts and pants that I have. They also each have about twenty pairs of shoes, I have two: one pair of Nikes thats about three years old, and a pair of Docs that are about two.

Just the other day, Mom called me, complaining about my not paying my insurance this month (I was laid off recently). The same week, she went shopping with one of the twins and bought her a pair of $80 shoes. (When I was young, the price limit for shoes was $50, and only once a year. Any more often or more expensive and I paid the difference.)

The older one works and pays for most of her own stuff, but still gets just about anything she asks for. She doesn’t really ask for much, preferring to be self sufficient. The younger ones, however, worked for about six months and decided they didn’t like working, so they quit. They have licenses and can drive. I don’t know who pays for their insurance, I assume it’s my parents. Lord knows the twins don’t earn any money, they’ve got no way to pay for it.

I see this dichotomy constantly, me being provided nothing and forced to be self-supportive while my sisters are getting anything (materially) they want. I live at poverty level, wondering where my food will come from next month, whereas my sisters are outfitted in brand new A&F clothes and Sketchers and Jegs and so on. They drive all the vehicles my parents own, not worrying about gas, insurance, or anything else. They go shopping with mom constantly, buying fashionable and expensive clothes, whereas if I ask for clothes money, I’m told I can have $25 the next time we go to Wal-Mart.

This wasn’t a very big issue when I lived at home, the twins were working then and paid for some of their own stuff, their shopping trips were much less frequent and extravagant. I brought it up sometimes, and was either met with confusion (I didn’t know you felt like that… I didn’t realize you felt this was happening… etc) or with excuses (Well, they’re girls… well, they’ll pay me back eventually… etc.) or with anger (I don’t know why you make this an issue… I do not buy more for them than I do for you… etc.). Any way it went, nothing was ever accomplished.

I don’t believe my mom realizes she acts this way (dad’s rather subservient to her, so he’s not an issue) so discussing it with her wouldn’t really amount to much.

I don’t resent my sisters, it’s not their fault. I don’t really resent mom, she’s not really that bright, and very emotional. I simply resent how they are allowed to live in the lap of luxury, all their desires being met, while I’m forced to scrounge for basic subsistence.

Well, I guess this was originally supposed to have SOME point, but along the way turned into what looks like a bunch of whiney sniveling. Guess that’s how it goes, though.

–Tim

Tough call here Homie.

You can do what I eventually did;

Disown my entire family and drop my last name to makes things crystal clear, or you can try and reach some sort of middle ground with them. I can’t tell which is best as I am not you (big surprise there!).

When I finally realized that most of my family and relations played favorites, I just cut them off cold turkey. A lot of them are still wondering why I don’t show up with bags of groceries and bottles of wine and schnapps anymore. Now, I have more money to buy musical instruments with and can more easily save for my future.

However hard it is right now, if you are able to make it through, you will be self sufficient. That is something that cannot be taken away from you. Do not ever let anyone tell you that you should be glad that they have “taught” you this lesson. You are learning it yourself and the lack of assistance when you are in need is just plain unkind.

Although both of my parents attended one of the best universities in the world, neither of them seemed too concerned that their children had no plans for higher education. When I think of all of the money that my father saved by not giving a rats @ss about his children’s continuing education, I remind myself of the irony that he spent his entire life teaching. His hypocrisy is nothing short of monumental and it is one of many reasons that my children will not carry his name. Neither has he heard my voice in almost ten years and he will never hear it again for the rest of his life.

I’m not sure that such drastic measures are required in your situation. All I can say is to try and slug it out yourself. That way you are not beholden to anybody. I’m really sorry to hear that your job fell through. Please let me know and I’ll be happy to help you update your resume and/or write some targeted cover letters for any jobs that you are seeking. I’m not sure if my own experiences will be of much use to you. All that I can say is that having a different name from my family is one of the most satisfying feelings I have ever had.

Best wishes to you Tim.

Chris

WOW!I didn,t forget what I was going to say! That was quick!

Any way, Homer, I don,t know what to tell you about parents or any thing like that.

Mine was always handing me money so I would get out more.

I just saved (a lot that,s showing for me know).

It sounds like we both are going through some tough problems.

I feel for you!

You can mail me to blow off steam or what ever (if that would help).

Besides, no one I,ve mailed is replying.

(If I don,t make sense, sorry, my mind is like New York traffic)

[aside]Little Tassie, not to pick on you or anything, but your apostrophes are coming through as commas; this makes your post really hard to read.[/aside]

Homer, I have some sucky advice for you; what your Mom is doing is not good, but it’s basically beyond your power to control; my suggestion for how to deal with it is work on learning to ignore it and get on with your own life. You will find as you get older that life will be easier for you than your younger sisters because you have already learned that nothing is going to get handed to you. That lesson’s going to be a real eye-opener for them. And I agree with Zenster to a degree; work on reducing your financial ties with your family and become truly self-sufficient, if you can. (Sorry for such non-sympathetic advice; your situation really does suck. Nobody likes getting the short end of the stick :frowning: )

The resentment is normal but it’s not productive any way shape or form. Your parents don’t sound particularly nice but I imagine raising five kids on a limited income can make you a bit hinky when it comes to money matters. Making five kids by “going for twins” despite limited resources is a somewhat self centered “I want what I want” mindset. It’s not exactly a shocker they are the way you describe.

People are who they are. If you are going to tie yourself into a knot over the lack of resource equity between your siblings and yourself you are just wasting energy that could be used more effectively elsewhere.

Ask yourself is there anything you have to power to change about them. No? Then get on with your life. You are an adult at 19. A full grown man. Your parents may be clueless or stingy etc. but if they aren’t abusing you your best tactic is to finish your education, live a good life and make sure your children are raised differently.

Be polite to them while understanding their limitations. Harboring a festering resentment will eventually get both you and your parents to the point that you want nothing to do with each other and per your post I can see that this is the direction your relationship with them is headed. Accept the reality of their limits, make your peace with it and get on with life. To do otherwise will simply deprive your children (don’t laugh it’s not that far away) of whatever grandparent support might exist on your side of the family in the future.

I had to make a similar decison about my mother’s alcoholism when I was 18. I finally stopped fighting with her about it and accepted that that was the way she was and that it was beyond my power to change her. It was a true epiphany for me and while I still got irritated at her for being drunk the internal rage I felt was put in context and dissipated to large extent.

Don’t hold onto anger about this type of stuff. It’ll wind up eating your ass alive to the point you nuke all familial connections and that will not be a good thing for the future although it may seem to be an attractive proposition at the moment. Trust me on this.

Gotta say I agree with the previous poster. Life is very seldom fair and frankly you’ve had bad treatment, but trying to track down the cause will be very time-consuming and painful and probably drive you into tears of boredom and frustration long before it gets anywhere. You’re at a good place right now to get some space between you and your family - not cutting yourself off, just thinking in ways you couldn’t before. Take that advantage. Be as positive as you can and resist the urge to be negative. Remember how it feels to be badly treated and use that to help yourself treat others more fairly in the future.
You sound like a pretty level-headed guy, to be honest! This frustration and resentment is perfectly normal and may well be something to do with the horrible realisation that reaching the end of adolescence does not, in fact, mean the glorious end of the movie. It just means that a much bigger movie opens right in front of you and there’s even more riding on it. Don’t panic about your feelings; jus’ relaax. And in somewhere from eighteen months to twenty five years’ time, you’ll be glad you didn’t blow up the family home. I put my mum through hell, and I’m just glad she’s still around!

You’ve got the chance now to expand your own horizons. Go for it. Your family may have been quite religious, and that most likely did you real good. But you can now pursue that on your own terms - same with your intellect. Go explore stuff. The world is pretty cool, really, when you’re young and honest and smart enough not to kid yourself. Your life is going to keep changing anyway so you may as well enjoy it. And relaax.

my wag:

your parents have struggled to raise 5 of you (maybe that they were trying to support more then they should have but that’s another issue) Now since your paying your own way and are no longer draining their resources, they are used to getting money from you. I think the best corse of action is to get everything in you name and sent to your college address - this will take your parents ammo away.

As is it fair - well here a big, cold dose of reality - NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS FAIR nor should it be nor can anyone make it fair.