I’m looking for some opinions on whether I’ve really become that crotchety neighbor everyone remembers as a kid. I’m so passive that I could never bring myself to yell at or scold anyone who isn’t family, but asking nicely doesn’t seem to help. Ever see the movie with John Candy where they rent a beach house and it turns out they’re right next to the path to the beach? That’s what my house has become.
Gardening is my passion, and even though we don’t have a lot of money, I’ve worked very hard on the outside of my house. We’ve built gardens, patios, a pergola, etc. The back yard is my next project and I’ve spent the last year prepping it for new gardens, paths, and as my little quiet sanctuary for reading and painting.
Recently, my neighbor remarried. We’ve had a non-relationship at best. He yelled at my husband once for getting leaf dust on his lawn chairs while we were cleaning up a couple of years ago, but we still wave when they drive by. Our house sits on a corner and the back abuts their side yard and backyard. The kids (maybe 3 or 4 of them?) have taken to just walking out their fenced-in backyard and marching across our back and side yards to get to the street. They’ve asked in the past to come into our yard to retrieve a ball or something, and I’ve always said they’re welcome to. They’re all in their teens, and seem nice enough. I don’t mind getting the occasional ball, but I’ve asked them nicely to please stop walking through our yard. They nod their heads, apologize, but then they’re at it the next day. I’ve seen one walk the perimeter of my yard, and then cling to the fence as he walks along it. Bizarre, but it’s not by my windows or in my plants. I work from home, so maybe they think I can’t see them.
Sometimes I’m nursing my baby, singing or dancing around, picking my nose, whatever, and I’ll see these heads go bopping right by the windows and through my plants, freshly tilled soil, and right on my nerves.
Am I out of line for even assuming they should know better? Should it matter at all? Does this bother anyone besides me? How would you handle this?
Well if they were walking all over my garden and planted flowers and the like, I’d give them what-for. One of the things I want when I have my own home is a gorgeous garden, lots of flowers and plants, a small waterfall, maybe a tiny man-made creek/river through it…
In any case, if they’re walking over/through the plants and soil you worked hard to grow/till up, I’d think you’re well in your rights to complain. It sounds like they’re not just walking over regular grass here.
Seriously, why can’t they go out their front door again? If you had a path, I could see it, but they are plenty old to know not to walk on people’s gardens.
If you’ve got a baby, you might want a fence soon anyway.
If you talk to the parents, a message of not minding them walking through, just minding messing up the garden should not push any buttons.
Never mind yelling, if they’re walking through your beds, they need to die*. You know, they have motion sensor sprinklers that are supposed to startle deer away (as opposed to giving them a nice bath); have you looked into this? I’m a gardener too, and I’ve posted here on occasion about my postie who likes to walk through my beds.
Thank you for the suggestions. I guess I’ll talk to the parents–I’m sure it’s the right thing to do. I’m just afraid of them screaming at me or something. Like I said, I’m really a weenie.
That’s kind of how I feel. I worry that I’m freaking out over something minor. Growing up, my mom would have had me by the ear apologizing to the neighbors if I walked through their gardens. I may look into sprinklers…especially since they like to do it most often when it’s wet or raining and leave their footprints through everything.
Our neighbour’s kids regularly play several varieties of “catch.” The little girls play a game with a whiffle ball and a couple of sort of playskool lacrosse rackets. One girl stands on my lawn and the other one stands on theirs, and they toss it back and forth.
The older boys pass a football back and forth. This spans three yards.
There is a large, well-equipped park and sports field a block-and-a-half from our house.
I can’t raise my voice to little girls, it just doesn’t work for me. I ask them politely to play in their own yard. The boys get called “orphans” and pointed in the direction of the park.
(I got in a shoving match with their father over his habit of leaning on the horn for fifteen minutes at a time to encourage his pack of feral children to GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!! BRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.
In an ideal world, I would live next door to a smouldering hole.
I’d do just about anything to keep from antagonizing my neighbors, especially over something relatively trivial. If they’re trampling your plantings and disrupting stuff, talk to the kids and point this out. If it continues, talk to the parents. But if they’re not using your yard as a playground, if they’re just walking on the grass, passing through, and not being rowdy, they’re not going to understand why this should be a problem.
Or just place a fence or a trellis or something to block easy access. You might not have to fence the whole yard.
Or put up some of those flags that landscapers use when they spray a yard, and tell the kids it’s not safe. They might get accustomed to another route.
